


TAINTED

by youngjaeswife



Category: GOT7, K-pop
Genre: Boyfriends, Freindship, GOT7 - Freeform, Kpop fandom, M/M, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2019-06-28 09:59:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 43,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15704952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngjaeswife/pseuds/youngjaeswife
Summary: Running as fast as he could from his two pursuers, the young man refused to look behind him.He couldn't understand why all this was happening, he didn't even know these men chasing him, but he knew he had to keep running.When Im Jaebeom, Mark Tuan and Park Jinyoung head off for a night of gaming at Jackson's they had no idea what they were in for even before they got there.But as friendships develop and love slowly blossoms, can Im Jaebeom, whose brother died a year earlier because of a similar incident, save this sweet young man from his demons.No one would want to love you if you're tainted. Right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to get murdered for this... I can feel it!
> 
> ALSO, TRIGGER WARNING. NON-CON RAPE (Not explicit, but still felt the warning necessary)
> 
> MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Running as fast as he could from his two pursuers, the young man refused to look behind him. 

He couldn't understand why all this was happening, he didn't even know these men chasing him, but he knew he had to keep running

One minute he was shopping for groceries, the next harassed because of his effeminate looks, and refusing their offer of going back to their house for some 'fun', was his only crime.

His thoughts raced, he was terrified. 

He knew what would happen to him if they caught him, so he ran and ran and ran. 

Now he was in completely unfamiliar territory, and he was lost.

He turned a nearby corner hoping to make even more headway from his pursuers, only to find himself trapped in a dead end. 

Turning around he watched as they came for him.

“Please don't do this,” a gentle, but panicked and afraid voice pleaded. “I'm begging you, think about what you're doing, I'm a guy, but even if I were a girl this would still be so wrong!”

“Who gives a shit if you're a guy, you're too fucking cute to ignore, now if you'd only wanted to come back and play with us this wouldn't have happened, would it?”

The bigger of the two men lunged forward and grabbed the young man forcing him to the ground. It was dark now and there had been no one in sight when he had been forced down the back alleys and into the next neighbourhood. Maybe he should have run into that store but then they would have just followed.

The young man screamed for help as loud as he could until they finally managed to cover his mouth with a hand. 

He bit down hard drawing blood the bigger man yelled in pain and pulled his hand away giving the young man another chance to scream some more until he was subdued again. 

The bigger man cursed and punched him in the gut hard. “Hold the little fucker down so I can fuck him hard.”

The young man was inconsolable his muffled sobs stifled by his own t-shirt that they had just pulled off and tied around his mouth.

He struggled and fought as hard as he could kicking and bouncing himself up and down on the floor, but the other smaller man held him tightly.

It all seemed surreal as it happened. 

He lost the will to fight, became numb and void of all thoughts and feelings and as he passed out from the pain, he wondered how to apologise to his mother.

~*~

Im Jaebeom stood leaning against the wall of the convenience store not far from his house, waiting for his friends to turn up.

They were heading on over to another friends place to do some hardcore gaming.

Finally ten minutes late, as usual, they came out of the convenience store armed with bags of snacks.

“You could have told me you were in there.” Jaebeom sighed. I've been waiting out here for ages. Let's get going.”

They began to head off back towards their friend's place.

“Sorry JB, we thought we'd get some supplies for tonight, while we're at Jackson's.” The younger of the two said holding up his two bags, the other man also held up his.

“What the hell,” JB laughed. “Did you two buy the whole damn store out?”

“We left a few things behind.” The other man grinned.

“Mark, I seriously don't know where you put it. You're so damn thin. You don't even look like you eat this stuff.”

“I keep asking him the same thing. All he does is eat and workout though.”

“Well you should know, Jinyoung, you're sleeping with the guy.” Jaebeom grinned.

Jinyoung slapped Jaebeom on the arm. “Anyway, Yug and Bam are meeting us there.”

“Well, that works. So what ha...”

“What was that?” Mark interrupted Jaebeom as they walked further down the street into the less populated part of town.

“It sounded like someone calling for help?” Jaebeom said a little surprised.

“You sure, I can't hear anything,” Jinyoung said straining to listen.

“It's stopped now, but I swear someone was crying out for help, my hearing isn't that bad.” Jaebeom informed him.

“Should we check it out just in case?” Mark suggested.

Jaebeom nodded. “Yeah, I think we should, it came from up there a little way.”

The three boys started moving swiftly to where Jaebeom had thought he'd heard the cry for help. They came to stop at an alleyway entrance so that he could get his bearings.

Jinyoung by chance happened to glance into the alleyway. The sight he saw made his heart skip a beat and his stomach wrench. “Hey get off him,” he yelled angrily causing Jaebeom and Mark to turn around and assess the situation quite quickly.

The two men jumped in fright and the bigger of the two pulled out of the unconscious young man cursing about not getting to finish.

Mark dropped his bags and he and Jaebeom didn't give the two men a chance to get past them.

Jinyoung quickly grabbed his phone and dialled the emergency number for the police. 

Jaebeom dropped the bigger of the two immediately with a hard hit to his solar plexus and a kick to his still unpacked balls hard and swift. Then jumping on him pulling both his arms up hard behind his back. 

Mark tripped the smaller of the two as he tried to run past and fall to the floor smashing his face on it causing his nose to break and bleed. 

He followed Jaebeom's lead grabbing the guys arms and pulling them up behind his back. 

Both men were too busy groaning with pain to fight back. 

Jinyoung hung up his phone and ran down to the unconscious young man lying naked in the alley. “This is awful,” Jinyoung said pulling his Jacket off and covering the young man over. “He checked the young man's pulse. Thank god he's alive. Hold those two down the police are on their way now and I called an ambulance. Luckily after we left the convenience store I saw a police car pull in there.”

“Good job, Jinyoung,” Jaebeom said pushing the bigger guys head back into the floor with his foot as he tried to look up. 

Jinyoung ran back out of the alley and waved frantically at the police as four of them then rounded the corner. “Down here, they attacked this poor kid. I called an ambulance it's on its way.”

“Well done son,” One of the policemen said patting Jinyoung on the shoulder as they walked down to where Mark and Jaebeom held the two men down. 

“We'll take these two,” he said as they reached down and dragged the two men up.

Another policeman turned up a few seconds later and ran into the alley. “I saw you guys coming down here as I pulled into my place just down the road? What happ... Poor kid is he alive?”

“Yeah, he is,” Jinyoung began, “But he was holding him down and he, well you can see for yourself.” 

Jaebeom ran over to where the young man lay unconscious, “Where's the damn ambulance?” He looked down at the face of the young man and screwed up his face.

“Assholes probably did this because of his looks. I've heard of guys getting off on other guys with effeminate looks, but this is just wrong!” He sat next down next to the young man and rested his head on his lap.

Mark wandered over with the other policeman, took off his Jacket, also placing over the young man.

“I'll wait with these guys for the ambulance, you get those two nasty pieces of work locked up,” the policeman that had just arrived said I'll bring them in for a statement once the ambulance has been.”

“We're on it. Pull your pants up you disgusting animal,” The main policeman said as he smacked the bigger man around the head. “I hope they lock you up for a very long time. Both of you,” his voice faded as they rounded the corner, back out of the alleyway.

The other policeman, Mark and Jinyoung looked on quietly as Jaebeom sat there gently stroking the young man's hair.

“Did you know him?”

“No, my friend here heard someone crying for help and we just came to investigate and this is what we found, sadly.” Jinyoung replied

“Oh, I just thought by the way he's fussing over him, that you might have known the fellow.”

“No, but his younger brother was attacked once and he ended up committing suicide," Jinyoung pointed out before continuing, "this is probably bringing back some bad memories for him.”

“Ahh sorry to hear that.”

“It was a bit of a shock, as he seemed to be coping alright, but, you know you just can't tell how they are really feeling inside.”

“Very true. Oh, I hear the ambulance,” The policeman said as sirens came into the area.

It wasn't long after he'd said that, that the ambulance arrived. 

Jinyoung quickly rang Jackson to let them know they'd be over a lot later than planned, but they'd explain when they got there what happened.

As the ambulance officers redressed the young man and put him in the ambulance Jaebeom got up and followed them. “Can I go with him, just until they notify his parents to come to the hospital. Something like this happened to my younger brother so I'd at least like to be of some help if he wakes up and starts freaking out.”

“I don't see why you can't for now then. In you get, then buckle up.”

Jaebeom glanced at Mark and Jinyoung who nodded and headed off with the officer.

Getting into the ambulance Jaebeom sat in the seat across from the young man and took his hand in his. 

He hadn't been able to save his brother, but he was going to try his damnedest to save this one.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT

After they had arrived at the hospital the doctors had examined the young man that Jaebeom had come in with and taken tests and monitored him closely and had made sure he was washed down and taken care of. The police had popped down and taken a statement from Jaebeom, but the other young man had been out of it still as they had given him some sedatives to stop him from panicking and freaking out after he had originally woken up, so they left saying they’d come back when he was awake.

Jaebeom had been allowed to stay by his side and he sat there quietly holding the other young man’s hand.

It wasn’t too long before a woman came rushing into the room and he let go of the other man’s hand. The woman stood over her son, her face wracked with worry, and tears streaming down her face.

The doctor had obviously told her what had happened.

The woman spotted Jaebeom as he went to leave, but she grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“Are you one of the boys who helped my YoungJae?” She asked as the tears kept streaming down her face.

Jaebeom nodded and the woman threw her arms around him, hugging him, kissing his cheeks and thanking him profusely.

“When he’s able to come home, you must come over so I can thank you properly. I’m sure YoungJae would want to, thank you too,” she insisted, wiping her eyes with tissues and looking back down at her son.

“We don’t need any thanks. Stopping the thugs that attacked him was lithe least we could do.”

“You’re so very kind, not many people, would do what you and you’re friends did.”

“Something like this happened to my brother in the past. I wasn’t able to help him, but your son, we were in the right place luckily.

“Oh no, is he alright now?”

Jaebeom bit his lip, he didn’t know how to, reply. How do you tell someone, whose son was lying there unconscious after being raped, that your brother killed himself because of something like this?

“ It must have been awful for him too.” She looked back at her son again tears still falling. “My poor baby.” She took Youngjae’s hand in hers holding it to her chest tightly

“I... I’d better go,”

“Wait, leave me your number... please,” Youngjae’s mother pleaded.

Jaebum grabbed the pen off the bedside drawers where it had been left behind by the nurse a little while ago and scribbled his number on an old docket he found in his pocket, then handed it to her.

“Call me anytime, and I’m really sorry we couldn’t stop them before they got as far as they did. I really, really am.” He rushed out of the room as fast as he could.

Youngjae’s mother watched as the young man left, she was sure she saw tears in his eyes as he almost flew out of the room. Looking down at the piece of paper in her hand she noted his name and looked back at the door.

“Thank you, Im Jaebeom, thank you so very much.”

-*-

Jaebeom was so very quiet when he arrived at Jackson’s, he couldn’t even concentrate enough to stay focused on the games.

In the end, he just lay on Jackson’s couch, his brother’s death weighing heavy on his mind. He hadn’t been the one to find him, but the news of how it happened had been enough to make him violently ill.

Jaebeom remembered his father's face as he informed the family of how his brother had committed suicide. Where he'd gotten the gun from no one knew, but it had been a clean shot straight through the temple and death had been instantaneous

Jackson excused himself from the game and shoving Jaebeom over lying down beside him beside Jaebeom and wrapped his arms around him, saying nothing. 

He had been visiting the Im household, dropping of games he had borrowed when Jaebeom had been told about his brother and he could tell just by Jaebeom's face exactly what was going through his head. 

Jaebeom wasn't one to give or take hugs easily from others, but he'd let his closest friends in when he felt it was appropriate, and at times like this when his brother's death was on his mind he allowed them access to his vulnerability.

Jackson and the others always expected nothing in return and Jaebeom appreciated that greatly.

Jinyoung looked over at the couch and sighed a little sadly. He had known Jaebeom the longest and it pained him to see Jaebeom looking like everything was his fault, like he should have known something was wrong, like he should have been able to stop his brother, like he should have been a better brother and now wishing he'd gotten there soon to stop what had happened to the other young man from happening. 

Jaebeom took everyone's pain on himself, always, even when something happened in their small group of six he would be the first to put himself in the middle and become the father like figure of the group.

Jinyoung had then stepped up to the plate to try and give Jaebeom space to breath and told them that if Jaebeom was the dad, then he was their mom and that he would give them what for if they didn't behave for dad.

Mark was quieter than the others he would step in as the big brother when the other four got too carried away if the other two weren't available, more often than not though the younger would usually take note of mark rather than Jinyoung most times because mad Mark was indeed scary Mark, especially when it came to the bothering of Jinyoung.

Although Mark was by no means always the innocent party either, but being the oldest out of them all he knew when he could get away with being cheeky and when he couldn't.

Bambam and Yugyeom, were the two youngest and definitely the troublemakers, knowing when it was safe to push the older three's buttons and pushing them even if it wasn't, but knowing how far they could push before repercussions set in and sometimes they just didn't care and pushed anyway, because they knew they'd be forgiven sooner rather than later.

Jackson pushed buttons whenever he wanted to and never mind the consequences, because he was Jackson, and nine out of ten times everyone would end up in fits of laughter anyway, but he knew when to cut the overacting immediately when the boundaries were enforced, because a savage Jinyoung and a mad Mark or Jaebeom were definitely not to be messed with.

Their friendships were something to be envious of and during the past three years the gap between them had closed and they were almost inseparable depending on the circumstances of course.

“Who wants Icecream?” Mark asked as he headed for Jackson's freezer to grab some of the ones he had brought with him from the convenience store earlier.

“Me,” Bambam and Yugyeom echoed each other.

“Melon, Melon,” Jackson shouted from the couch.

“I'll just have an iced coffee thanks Mark,” Jinyoung replied.

“Jaebeom?”

“Oh uh... I don't know.” Jaebeom replied quietly.

“I'll just go with strawberry then,” Mark smiled softly at him.

“Yeah, thanks Mark.”

“What flavour do you two menaces want?” 

“Chocolate thanks,” Yugyeom grinned.

“I want lychee flavoured Mark, please!”

“Okay, so Yug and Bam chocolate and lychee, Jackson Melon, Jaebeom strawberry and Jinyoung an iced coffee. I guess I'll have the banana flavour then,” Mark said as he went about grabbing everything and walked back into the lounge throwing the two youngest their stuff and handing the other three theirs before indulging in his own.

“So this guy?” Bambam asked tentatively, “Is he gonna be okay?”

“No idea. It's way too early to tell how he'll react,” Jaebeom sighed.

“It's not your fault you know Jaebeom,“ Jinyoung said firmly but gently. “You can't keep blaming yourself for things out of your control.”

“I know, but I just...”

“Just nothing,” Jackson interjected. “You can't save the whole world Jaebeom.”

“No, but I can sure as hell try and make a damn difference. I wish I'd heard the damn kid calling for help sooner, I know we could have...”

“Jaebeom!” Mark gave him a stern glare. “Stop it. You are not superhuman, you are not invulnerable or indestructible either. You can't take on the world by yourself. If you want to make a difference then start by befriending the kid and go from there, I'm sure he'd appreciate someone who can help him work through his trauma, besides a psych.”

Jaebeom chewed on his ice cream and sighed. “I really do want to help him. I don't want him to end up like my brother.” 

Mark unwrapped his ice cream while glancing over at Jaebeom. “His mother has your number and she said she wants to get you us four together right?” 

“Yeah.” 

Well then, take it from there,” Mark said encouragingly. “I know you said you didn't want the thanks from her, but let her do it anyway, that way, you can at least meet this Youngjae and see how he's coping, and you've been through counselling, he and his family would probably benefit from you befriending him, and of course we'll help too, right guys?”

Everyone nodded in agreement and Jaebeom smiled. He felt a little better knowing they were there for him and they'd all rallied around him after his brother had died, helped him through things just as much as his psych had.

Sighing Jaebeom nodded to the game, “Who's up for a challenge?” 

Jinyoung smiled, that was the Jaebeom he liked to see and as Jaebeom and Jackson came back to the circle, Mark threw the die in order to start determining the order of starting player,.

Finally, it was Jaebeom's turn. “Natural twenty,” he said with a grin. “I believe I start!”  
“See,” Jinyoung smiled, “That never happens to you, maybe good things will start to happen right?”

Jaebeom shrugged as he rolled the regular die. 

“A SIX!” Yugyeom exclaimed. “RIGGED!!” OW!!

Jinyoung slapped Yugyeom on the arm as Jaebeom smiled widely.

“Yeah, maybe you're right, Jinyoung. Maybe they will.”

~*~

It was a few days later when Jaebeom's phone rang waking him from his one and only day off sleep in.

“Im Jaebeom speaking. Oh, Mrs Choi. He did, he has,” his voice was panicked. “Okay I'll be right there, keep everything away from him that he could hurt himself with. I know and I understand but please, trust me. I'll explain why when I get there. Yes, I promise. I'm leaving now.”

Jaebeom hung up the call and seconds later got an address via text. He leapt out of bed threw his clothes, on grabbed his car keys, slammed the door to his house shut making sure it was locked and got into his car, set up the sat nav and drove.

~*~

Mrs Choi opened the door and welcomed Jaebeom into her house. “I'm so sorry, I didn't know who else to call. Youngjae doesn't have a lot of friends around here we only moved in a short while ago and now he's shut himself in his room and won't come out. He won't eat, he won't talk, the only thing he has said is what I told you on the phone, that he wished they had killed him. I don't know what else to do.”

“Mrs Choi, I need to tell you something, I couldn't say anything the other day because the situation was a little too real and raw for me. It might help you to understand a bit about what your Youngjae is going through, as my brother went through similar things, but the scenario was much worse than Youngjae's and by that I don't mean to say what happened to him wasn't awful, but with my brother it was on a different level.”

Mrs Choi sat on the lounge with Jaebeom. 

“I'm listening,” she said softly.

Jaebeom sighed and his hands clasped together. “Just a little over a year ago my brother was attacked like this, he wasn't as fortunate as Youngjae, no one was there to rescue him.” Pausing Jaebeom fought to control his emotions. “There was four of them and they all went the whole way with him, did so much more to him and he was conscious the whole time. As a result, he shut himself away and when he did finally come out, he pretended everything was okay to the extent that he had us all fooled, that is until he killed himself.”  
Jaebeom took a deep breath in. “I'm not saying that Youngjae would do that, I'm just saying not to rule out anything where this kind of trauma is present.”

Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry Jaebeom.” Mrs Choi placed her hands over his.

“After my brother killed himself, my mother's health went downhill, she went a little crazy until we had to have her institutionalised and my father, well he hasn't been himself since. He barely lives from day to day and I still struggle with the fact I was too stupid to see just how bad my brother really was. You see no matter what anyone tells you it's never easy to forgive yourself even if it wasn't your fault.”

“But I made him feel bad about himself. He already had self-esteem issues because of his father, who left when he was five.” she sighed woefully. “That night when this all happened, Youngjae had just told me that he was gay and I got so mad at him that I told him to stop being stupid, that he was just going through a phase and I told him to go and get my groceries and to think about things properly.” she started to cry and Jaebeom held her. “I sent him to this Jaebeom, I really did. The police told me that Youngjae said they chased him out of the area and into the next neighbourhood, he didn't know it at all. Things could have even worse if you and your friends hadn't come along when you did.”

“You didn't force those men to chase him and you didn't force Youngjae into those men's hands. Just like I wasn't at fault for not being there to stop those men who hurt my brother. I know how hard it is to not blame yourself and I still do blame me, even though I know it wasn't my fault, but my psych says laying blame on yourself is a normal part of the grieving process when this happens.”

Jaebeom sighed and rubbed Mrs Choi's back gently. “I want to help Youngjae through this we all do, my friends all want to help too.”

“Will you try and talk to him please?” Mrs Choi asked the desperation in her voice loud and clear.

“I can try, but no guarantee he will respond.”

“This way, please just do what you can.”

They walked together down a small hallway and to a room at the end of it.

“Youngjae ah,” She knocked on his door softly. “Please, Youngjae I'm worried about you? And there's someone here to see you. It's one of the boys who saved you. Please, Youngjae ah... Please come out.”

They stood there at the door but there was no response. A noise could be heard from inside the room so Jaebeom softly began to speak.

“Youngjae, my name is Jaebeom. My friends and I heard your cry for help, we found you and beat up those guys. I also stayed with you the other night until your mother came to the hospital. I just want to talk to you for a minute that's all.”

“Youngjae ah, please don't shut me out son.” his mother pleaded as she tried to open the door. Suddenly there was the smashing of things and the sound of a window opening.

“YOUNGJAE AH...” His mother cried as she tried to shoulder the door. 

Jaebeom bolted out of the house and saw Youngjae taking off towards the nearest main road

“Shit,” he cursed as his heart started racing due to the panic that arose in his gut and he took off down the road after him. 

Mrs Choi came in time to see Jaebeom chasing after her son 

“Please, Jaebeom, don't let him die, please don't let him die.”

Fueled on by the sobbing woman, Jaebeom was determined to bring the boy back home.


	3. Chapter 3

Jaebeom ran as fast as he could, he could tell the other young man was definitely not as athletic as him as he was starting to slow down, but at the same time too uncomfortably close to the road.

Picking up his speed some more he began to catch up to Youngjae. Jaebeom knew exactly what Youngjae as thinking the road was busiest just further down and Jaebeom panicked seeing Youngjae stop as if looking for something. A surge of adrenaline took over Jaebeom's body and his legs carried him as fast as he could Youngjae looked behind him and panicked running into the oncoming traffic.

Jaebeom cursed as he shot out into the middle of the road after him. A truck heading right for Youngjae blared his horn, but Youngjae remained still. Jaebeom ran so fast he felt he as if his legs were now jelly, his gut-wrenching as the horn of the truck sounded out longer and more frequently and there was nowhere else the truck could go but forward without endangering the lives of many others.

Youngjae closed his eyes and waited.

~*~

Jinyoung checked his phone for the time. It wasn't like Jaebeom to be this late he was always on time when they organised to meet up on his day off.

They would always meet at Mark and Jinyoung's place first and then head out to do whatever they'd organised

Turning to Mark he sighed.

“He'll be here don't worry,” Mark said trying to sound as reassuring as possible.

“I'm going to text him.”

Mark nodded. “I've already called Jackson and gotten his slack ass out of bed.”

Jackson was the one who was always at least twenty minutes late, they were used to him being tardy.

Jinyoung sighed again when his text wasn't returned. “Where the hell could he be?”

Suddenly Mark's phone rang he answered it, “Mark, quick turn on the computer, quick head to youtube someone's uploaded a video. I'm sending you the link now..”

“Bam now's not the time.”

“No seriously do it, it's Jaebeom, the video is of Jaebeom! We'll be over soon.” The call ended.

Mark tapped on the link which had the title of, “Idiot on the road saved by an angel” and the video appeared and started to play. Mark's face paled and he tapped Jinyoung on the arm. “Oh my god, Jinyoung look!”

~*~

Jaebeom ran frantically toward Youngjae and literally threw himself the last few feet knocking Youngjae to the floor and away from the truck as it just missed the two of them. He rolled them onto the grassed area nearby just stopping before a steep incline into a ditch, his breathing puffed and heavy at the fright he'd just had and held tightly to the sobbing young man who now had a hold of Jaebeom's shirt, his fists tightly balled around the fabric. 

Jaebeom lay there with him just holding him until cars pulled over and a throng of people ran over to them. He automatically covered Youngjae's face with his Jacket so no one could see who he was and remained on the floor with him. 

As people started throwing questions at him as to why they'd been on the road Jaebeom did the only thing he could think of. “His dog ran off and he thought it ran onto the road,” he lied.

Jaebeom felt the young man grip his shirt even tighter and he continued. “He got scared because I was chasing him to help catch the dog. He's new to the area and thought I was chasing him. It was my fault, he didn't know I'd seen his dog run off too and was just trying to help him. I'm so sorry to have caused anyone trouble.”

“Can I help you get home?” One lady asked. She seemed to be rather calm about the whole thing as the crowd finally started to leave once they saw the two boys were all right.

“JAEBEOM!!” Jinyoung's voice called out from across the other side of the road.

Jaebeom looked over and sighed. There waiting for them was Mark and the others with very relieved looks on their faces. Looking back up at the lady he bowed his head. “Thank you, but my friends are here now. We'll be fine, but thank you anyway!”

The lady nodded and patted Jaebeom on the shoulder. “You did a brave thing young man.” she complimented as she walked away.

The crowd had finally left them alone and Jaebeom removed his jacket to see a tear stained face looking apologetically up at him. Without a word, Jaebeom pulled the young man up into a sitting position, hugged him tightly and began to cry. “Never ever think because someone has hurt you that your life is not worth it. I know I don't even know you, but I want to help you, Youngjae, for god sake, please, let me help you through this.”

Youngjae's sobs quietened as he listened to the other young man called Jaebeom crying and pleading with him to let him help him, and as he listened to this Jaebeom crying, he realised that he very well could have been hit by the truck as well.

Calming himself down as best he could for the first time in days Youngjae finally spoke. "I'm so sorry, I could've gotten you killed too.”

“Well you didn't, so please, damn it, just let me help you through this! We didn't save you just so you could throw your life away!”

“Why, though, why would you want to help someone like me?”

Jaebeom gently pulled himself away from Youngjae and looked him in the eyes. “Because someone like you, an innocent person, who never asked for this to happen to them either, died a little over a year ago because he couldn't cope with what happened, because I never saw the signs that he was so depressed he couldn't bear to live any more. I couldn't save him from his demons. I don't want you ending up the same way!”

Youngjae was still shaking a little and Jaebeom rubbed his shoulders

“Will you come with me?” Jaebeom stood as he asked, taking the other boy's hands in his and pulling him up off the ground with him. “I want you to show you something.”

Not knowing why he even did so, Youngjae nodded.

Jinyoung and the others watched as the young man allowed Jaebeom to pull him to his feet and place an arm around his shoulders and they all sighed their relief great as they headed for the footbridge that Jaebeom had led the other young man to and were now crossing it together.

As Jaebeom and Youngjae neared the others Youngjae quickly stepped behind Jaebeom.

Jaebeom pulled him back out. “Don't be scared these are my friends, they won't hurt you, they want to help you too. So, this is Jinyoung and Mark, they were with me the night everything happened and this is Jackson and that's Bambam and Yugyeom.” 

Everyone gave Youngjae a quick polite greeting and a smile.

“I, I'm Youngjae,” The nervous young man said quietly his eyes averting from theirs. 

“I'm taking him to visit, my mother, and then Dong Jae. I need to take a rain check on our outing today.”

“It's cool, we can come with if you want Jaebeom, You know for support.” Jinyoung smiled.

“Yeah, that would be great. Thanks.”

“My car's at Youngjae's. Let's head there first so she at least knows you're okay.”

Youngjae nodded and the seven of them headed together back to Youngjae's house.

~*~

When Youngjae's mother saw them coming back with Youngjae she burst into tears at the sight and ran up to them taking Youngjae in her arms and sobbing.

Seeing his mother crying so hard Youngjae started up again too. “I'm so sorry eomma, I am so so sorry.”

“Youngjae ah please please be strong through this. I'm sorry I got angry at you, You can be gay, it's fine, just please don't kill yourself please, I love you Youngjae.”

“Eomma. Not in front of other people, please.”

“Hey Youngjae, don't worry, Mark and I are gay if that helps?” Jinyoung said patting him on the back heartily, Don't be ashamed of who you are. We're not!” He grinned.

Youngjae sighed and gave a small smile.

“We're going to go visit my mother and then my brother.”

But I thought...” Mrs Choi stopped as Jaebeom put his finger to his mouth and she immediately understood. “I thought we should have some tea together first as a thank you. But it's fine. Please look after my Youngjae for me.”

“We will. Come on let's go,” he smiled ushering a very confused and bewildered Youngjae into the front passenger seat of his car. Sliding the back door open, the others got in filling the other five seats. 

“Good job you chose this instead of a normal car,” Jackson grinned.

“Yeah otherwise you and Yugyeom would have to walk,” Jinyoung chuckled.

“Pfft...” Both Jackson and Yugyeom replied together

“Jaebeom chuckled are we all belted up.”

“OW...” 

“HEY,”

“We are now.” Jinyoung grinned.

Bambam laughed from the back seat next to Mark as he saw Jinyoung smack the other two. It was times like this he was glad he chose to sit in the back with Mark and Jinyoung.

“Park Jinyoung, leave the beagle and the maknae alone you bully,” Jaebeom said firmly.

“Spoilsport,” Jinyoung said poking his tongue out at Jaebeom.

Youngjae sat in his seat listening to these people he'd never met before bickering playfully. He didn't really know why, but a small smile formed over his face and he sighed almost as if he was relieved about something.

Jaebeom saw Youngjae's small smile from out of the corner of his eye as he started up the car. 

At least that was a start.

~*~

It was almost an hour later when they arrived at their destination. 

Jaebeom could see Youngjae's extremely puzzled face wondering why they were at a hospital.

“Okay everyone out.”Jaebeom began as the others, some of who had been sleeping woke up, and they all exited the vehicle, Jaebeom locking it and then heading for the door.

Youngjae stopped and looked around a little worriedly.

“Come on,” Jaebeom said holding his hand out and signalling for Youngjae to come to him. “Don't be afraid, just follow and I'll explain when we see my mother.”

Youngjae took a deep breath in and then sighed it out and then caught up to Jaebeom and the others.

Taking a hold of Jaebeom's arm as they headed into the hospital, Youngjae looked around. “This is a... a mental hospital,” he whispered.

“Sure is,” Jaebeom said as they made their way to the front desk.

“Hey there JB,” one of the nurses said with a smile.

“Heya, how's my eomma today?”

“She's not doing too badly, there have been some signs of improvement actually.”

“That's great.” Jaebeom's smile was one of sincerity and hope.

“She's out in the garden with Ji Sung.”

“Thanks, Sou Min.”

“This way,” Jaebeom said as he led the others out to the garden area.

Youngjae's face dropped as he saw a middle-aged woman being pushed in a wheelchair by a young lady.

“Hey Ji Sung!” Jaebeom said grinning as Ji Sung turned and smiled.

“Oh, hey JB, hey guys, nice to see you all again. Been a while though.” Ji Sung said as he came over with Jaebeom's mother.

“Yeah school and work keeping us all busy,” Jaebeom informed him.

“I see you've added a new member to your little group.”

“Yeah, this is Youngjae,”

“Hi, Youngjae,” Ji sung smiled.

“Hi,” Youngjae said quietly.

“So, Youngjae, this is my eomma.”

Youngjae watched as Jaebeom knelt down and smiled, “Hey eomma, it's me, Jaebeom.”

“Oh, Jaebummie,” 

Youngjae watched as the woman smiled and reached her hand out to touch his face, but instead of touching him gently she slapped him hard. He stood there shocked but the others just looked on as if this was normal, not even Jaebeom flinched as he was hit.

“I told you not to come without your brother, Jaebeum ah, why didn't you bring Dong Jae with you?”

“I'm sorry eomma, he couldn't come again today.”

“I see, make him come next time, tell him he has too.”

“I'll tell him eomma, I always do,” Jaebeom said gently a sad look over his face as he bent down and kissed her on the cheek.

“Oh, Jaebummie,” she said with a smile as if she had just seen them again. “It's nice to see you and your friends again. Jinyoung ah, has Jaebummie been a good boy?” She askedtaking Jinyoung's hand and patting it.”

“As good as he can be, eomma.” Jinyoung smiled at her.

“You're a good boy Jinyoung ah, look after my Jaebummie,” she said letting go of his hand and suddenly going quiet again.

Youngjae was shocked as seconds later as she began to babble on incoherently then on about paying the electricity bill and buying a new TV. For Dong Jae's room.

Youngjae's mouth went dry and he started shaking a little.

“You okay, do we need to leave?”

Youngjae nodded he was mortified by what he'd just seen.

“We'll go see my brother then alright?” 

Youngjae nodded.

“Take care of her Ji sung, I'll be back next week.”

“Yeah take care Jaebeom. I'll look after her, don't worry.”

Jinyoung patted Jaebeom on the back. “That's the most she's spoken in ages,” he grinned as they headed back out towards the car.

Jaebeom smiled. “Yeah, it is.”

“Why is she in here though? What happened to her?” Youngjae asked gently.

“I'll explain once we've seen my brother. It won't make sense until then.”

“Oh,” Youngjae said nervously as they all climbed back into the car.


	4. Chapter 4

Another half an hour later they pulled up into the carpark of the Seoul National Cemetery and everyone got out of the car again.

By this time Youngjae was extremely confused as Jaebeom led them through the rows of graves.

“Jaebeom? Why are we here?”

“To see my brother,” Jaebeom replied casually as he held himself together for the sake of what he was trying to do.

“So he works here?”

Jaebeom suddenly stopped and Youngjae thought for a moment he had said something wrong until Jaebeom knelt on the floor where he'd stopped.

“Dong Jae ah, this is Youngjae.”

Youngjae looked down and his mouth fell open. “Your brother's dead?” Youngjae stepped back shocked and now a little frightened by what was going on. “Why are you doing this? Why have you dragged me along to visit a dead person?” 

Jaebeom saw the panic and fear in Youngjae's eyes and took his hand tightly in his not allowing him to pull away. “Calm down, I'll explain everything to you.”

“You said you wanted to help me, how is this helping me?” he started to cry. 

“ Listen Youngjae please.”

Youngjae shuddered as Jaebeom pulled him to the floor with him hugging him to him. 

“Youngjae, Dong Jae was raped last year by a group of men, they took turns and went all the way with, he was three years younger than you, there was no one there to save him when it happened, like we were able to save you” He paused and sighed before continuing. 

“We all thought he was fine, my appa, eomma and I, until he killed himself. My eomma, well that's the result of this. She went crazy little by little day by day until we had to put her into the hospital. I wanted to show you what could have happened if I, if we hadn't have intervened when we did. Mark, Jinyoung and I saved you the other day, but there was no one to save my brother.”

Youngjae's face softened when he realised why Jaebeom had done what he did. “You couldn't save him, but you were able to save me.”

Jaebeom nodded. “These boys, all of them, know how much Dong Jae meant to me. When I saw you unconscious, all I saw was Dong Jae all over again and I wasn't going to let another person die because they felt so hopeless that their life was worth nothing any more.”

Jaebeom looked into Youngjae's eyes as he cried. 

“Dong Jae had his whole life ahead of him until that happened. He was top of his classes in school, had a great girlfriend, great friends and a family who loved him dearly, but it wasn't enough to save him. Three weeks later he was dead. My father blames himself, living from day to day monotonously, my mother cried for months on end and slowly went insane, every day she set the table expecting him to walk back through our front door, and I've always felt responsible because I wasn't there when he needed me the most.”

Youngjae listened quietly, still crying as Jaebeom related everything to him. He fully understood now where Jaebeom was coming from with all this. It had all been done for him. Three stranger he'd never met cared enough about him to go out of their way to help him, not many people would care like Jaebeom and his friends had.

Jaebeom was right, Youngjae couldn't bear it if his mother were to suffer like Jaebeom's. He wouldn't try and do this again. If he were to die, it would mean his mother would be left all alone and realising this he cried even harder.

The others stood quietly as Jaebeom and Youngjae held each other tightly.

Jinyoung smiled softly as the two of them clung to each other crying. It seemed like Jaebeom had gotten his wish. It didn't look like Youngjae was in a hurry to die any more and by the looks of it a new friendship had just been developed.

Jaebeom took a deep breath in and placed his hands on Youngjae's cheeks, wiping the young man's tears away and then his own.

“Today is a new beginning for you Choi Youngjae. I'll give you the number for my psychologist, I want you to go see him. I'll come see him with you if you want, okay? We'll work through this together.”

Youngjae sniffled and then nodded.

“Okay no more trying to kill yourself. You call me or any of us, The boys will give you their numbers too. Youngjae we want to hang out with you, be your friend. Is that okay with you?”

Youngjae nodded again. “I'd like that. I don't have any friends at all here.”

“Well you have six of us now,” Jackson said smiling as he held his hand out for the two of them pulling them up together.

Youngjae smiled his face lighting up as Jackson grinned at him.

“Oh my god Youngjae,” Jinyoung said as he pointed at his face. “That smile is deadly. It's like... like...”

“Like the sun is shining!” Yugyeom grinned finishing off the sentence.

“Yeah, sunshine... that's what we'll call you,” Jackson grinned. “You can be our sunshine.”

Youngjae stared at them and then suddenly he found himself bursting into laughter.

“So,” Mark began, “Let's go back to our place, we have pizzas, snacks drinks and games...”

“What kind of Games?” Youngjae's ears perked up.

“Why don't you come and find out?” Jinyoung smirked.

“Really, I can?”

“Sure.”

“Is Jaebeom coming too?” Youngjae asked another wide smile on his face.

“I wouldn't miss it for the world,” Jaebeom grinned. “It'll be good for you too Youngjae.”

“It would be good to take my mind off things,” Youngjae said a little more quietly.

“Exactly,” Jaebeom said as he placed an arm around Youngjae's shoulder. “It's not going to take away the pain or the memory of what's happened, but think of it as the beginning of your 'healing' therapy.”

“Sounds nice,” Youngjae smiled again.

“Let's go then,” Bambam said ushering everyone towards the car.

Youngjae stood looking at Dong Jae's grave and shuddered. That could have been him. He owed it to Jaebeom to try and be stronger.

“Thank you, Dong Jae,” Youngjae said softly as he touched the headstone gently, “for sending your brother to me. I'll work hard to live, so I can look after him for you.” He sighed and looked up to see Jaebeom waiting for him with a smile on his face.

Youngjae couldn't help but smile back as he headed over to him. 

As he climbed into the car with his six new friends and listened to their bickering and play-fighting, he glanced over at Jaebeom and smiled as he suddenly realised just how glad he was to be alive.

Jaebeom smiled relieved at least for now he was smiling. But he refused to let his guard down. He was going to protect this boy at all costs. Jaebeom knew how depression and trauma worked and there would be relapses no doubt, but he was pretty sure not to the extent of Youngjae trying to kill himself again, but still, he would be cautious on his guard.

It was early days yet.

~*~

As the weeks slowly went by Youngjae was up and down in his moods, but the boys had been there when he needed them. Encouraging him to stay strong and helping him to get his mind of things when he began to think too much about things

Jaebeom's psychologist had taken Youngjae on as a patient and the two of them went to their appointments together. 

In fact, they had become almost inseparable at times to the point that Jaebeom would happily allow Youngjae in his comfort zone twenty-four seven.

Jinyoung and Mark had begun to suspect that maybe these two were getting to the point where just being friends wouldn't cut it. Every chance Jaebeom had he would initiate skinship and Youngjae would happily oblige him, if not be the one to instigate the skinship himself. 

It had been a big step for Youngjae he would barely allow anyone but Jaebeom to hug him first but soon the boys wore him down and it seemed he really appreciated the affection the boys were showing him as his friends.

It was when Mark had pointed out to Jinyoung that Jaebeom would lie with Youngjae on the couch and his hand would casually slip down between Youngjae's thighs and rest between his legs. Nothing more than just that but actions spoke a thousand words as Youngjae would rest his hand over the top of Jaebeom's.

The cheeky playful winks they would give each other as the others were talking around them.

The times when they were out eating somewhere and separated from each other on the table by someone the would still reach over and touch each other casually when talking behind the person. 

The many videos or photos the two would sneak of each other or the deliberate ones they took, just because they could.

The constant selfies with each other and feeding each other with their own utensils

The quick glances they would give each other with much-unspoken affection reflected in their eyes. The sweet soft looks of adoration that Jaebeom would throw Youngjae's way told Jinyoung that something was building between them quietly and silently 

Jaebeom had grown accustomed to Youngjae's affection it seemed, as he would rarely push the other young man away from him and if he did he would always make sure that Youngjae knew the reason why and that it wasn't because of him.

Youngjae would respect Jaebeom's personal space at times like this because he knew he too was still going through his own issues, but as Jaebeom had said, it seemed to help the two of them when they struggled through together when they needed to.

Lately though, he had begun to see Jaebeom in a different light. Jaebeom was becoming more than just the guy who helped saved him, more than just Im Jaebeom, but he was afraid that more might be too much for Jaebeom.

Youngjae wasn't even sure if he could make any kind of commitment himself yet. He wasn't even sure if Jaebeom was into guys and unsure even if he was, that Jaebeom would even want him after what happened. 

After all, no one would want to love you if you're tainted, right?

So he kept his thoughts to himself and carried on the way they did and that for now was more than enough for Youngjae.

Jaebeom, on the other hand, was beginning to get a little restless. He'd begun to yearn more for Youngjae's presence, his touch, his smile and his infectious laugh. He knew he'd fallen for him about a week or two ago when they were shopping together for groceries and their hands connected by accident on the cart, the look Youngjae had given him gave him the shivers but in a good way and Jaebeom felt like maybe Youngjae wanted more too. 

Maybe.

Youngjae always called himself tainted and Jaebeom hated it. Youngjae wasn't tainted in his eyes. To Jaebeom, Youngjae was someone really special.

Up to this point though, Youngjae had been staying over at the other boy's places a lot. He enjoyed their company and their craziness it gave him comfort to be around them. 

Tonight everyone would be heading to Jaebeom's place as it was his turn to host their overnight stay. Jaebeom had already picked up Youngjae and brought him over they were just waiting on the others now.

Mark and Jinyoung were the first to turn up and as usual, they came with their two bags each full of snacks and drinks.

Jackson and Yugyeom turned up next and Bambam was the final one to arrive bringing the real drinks as he liked to call them. 

After they had all settled down in Jaebeom's lounge the seven of them sat deciding what game to start with.

After almost an hour of no one being able to agree with anything, Youngjae had an idea.

“Why don't we write out our ideas on paper, stick them in a container and pick one out and then go with what's picked out?”

“Nice Youngjae, I can see you're the brains of this group,” Jinyoung grinned.

“Getting a compliment from Jinyoung's rare, you know you should be honoured.” Jaebeom chuckled as he got up and grabbed a container, some paper and pens from a desk over in the far corner of the room then came back and handed them around.

“Everyone writes what you want, shove it in here and we'll pick one out,” Jaebeom said as he placed the container in the middle of them.

Less than two minutes later everyone's ideas were in the container and Jaebeom picked it up and shook it. 

“Go ahead Youngjae pick one out, but don't look at it yet,” Jaebeom offered the container at head height.

Youngjae reached up and grabbed one out and as Jaebeom had instructed, he didn't look at it. “Got one.” he smiled.

“Okay show everyone now.”

Youngjae opened the piece of paper which was folded and held it out. 

Jaebeom, Mark and Jinyoung groaned in dismay while the other three were rather ecstatic.

“Great,” Jaebeom sighed. “Truth or dare it is then. Why you three love this damn game so much I just don't know?” 

“Because, we get to annoy you on fair grounds,” Yugyeom smirked.

Okay, who's game idea was it? They get to start.” Jinyoung sighed.

“Mine!!” Jackson was way too happy about this. Okay so let's start with Jinyoung, truth or dare?”

“Truth, because I don't trust your dares.” 

Youngjae laughed. 

“Okay then,” Jackson began. “If you could choose another member of our group, besides Mark to kiss, who would it be?”

“Not you! That's for sure.” Jinyoung huffed.

“Come on Nyoungie? Do it properly,” Jackson ordered.

“Youngjae...”

Youngjae coughed loudly, almost choking on his water. A slight tinge of red over his face. 

“Sorry Youngjae, but you're the least annoying out of the others and I can't pick Mark.”

Youngjae just nodded and waved a hand in the air as he slowly regained what little composure he had left after that.

Jaebeom grinned and shook his head patting Youngjae gently on the back.

“Okay my turn,” Jinyoung grinned and looked at Jaebeom. “So JB... Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Who out of all of us in this room, would you want to date?” Jinyoung grinned

Jaebeom suddenly looked a little flustered and he pulled at the collar of his t-shirt.

“Ten seconds JB, or I'll make you kiss someone. I'm counting,”

“Can I change it to dare?”

“I'll still make you kiss someone. Four seconds JB.”

“Ugghh but this is kinda awkward.”

“Two seconds.”

“Fine, Youngjae,” Jaebeom spat out. “I'd date Youngjae because the rest of you are really damn annoying!”

Youngjae's face may have been a slight tinge of red before, but now it burned deep red and his heart raced a little. 

Jinyoung smirked satisfied with the outcome. 

“Your turn JB.” 

“Yeah thanks, Jinyoung.”

Youngjae could barely look up now, his eyes on the floor not daring to even look at anyone.

“Mark truth or dare?” 

“Truth.”

“Has Jinyoung ever used sex toys on you?”

Mark blushed immediately and Jinyoung gave Jaebeom such an evil glare.

“Ten seconds or I'll make you strip.”

“You asshole,” Jinyoung said throwing a paper cup at Jaebeom.

“Three seconds Mark,” Jaebeom said grinning.

“Yes...” Mark said extremely quietly as he turned a pretty shade of crimson red and shoved his face into Jinyoung's chest with embarrassment.

All the boys aside from Jinyoung, Mark and Youngjae were laughing hard and whistling. 

Youngjae's face hadn't even recovered from the last round, but it seemed to be glowing with embarrassment. He had never played this before, but he was certainly getting a crash course in how to do so right now.

“Your turn Mark,” Jaebeom smirked.

Mark looked up his face bright red and to Youngjae's surprise, he looked straight at him.

Youngjae shook his head trying to get him to ask someone else but to no avail.

“Youngjae, truth or dare?” Mark looked over at Jaebeom who shot him a warning glance but Mark just smirked right back at him.

Youngjae sat stunned. If he said Truth he had a funny feeling it would be a question similar to Jaebeom's if he said dare he knew Mark would dare him to do something with Jaebeom... this was the pattern he could sense right now since it seemed to be an all-out Truth war between Jinyoung, Mark and Jaebeom and he huffed out a puff of air.

“Dare, wait, no truth, no ughhh,” he sighed a little stressed.

“Ten seconds Youngjae or I'll choose for you,” Mark grinned staring at Jaebeom victoriously,

“Umm ahh...”

“Four seconds Youngjae,” Mark warned grinning

“Truth, I pick truth.” Surely it couldn't be worse than the dare.

“Did you like it when Jaebeom said he would choose to date you over the rest of us?”

Youngjae closed his eyes and sighed. This really was extremely awkward now.

Jaebeom watched Youngjae as he bit his lip and fidgeted. He could see how nervous the young man was as he licked his lips to try and moisten the dryness he was now dealing with in his mouth.

“Five seconds Youngjae,” 

Youngjae's heart raced and his mind went into overdrive.”

“Two seconds,”

“Yes,” Youngjae felt like his face was now on fire and he swallowed, what would Jaebeom think of him now that he knew that.

“Your turn Youngjae,” Mark said smiling at Jinyoung.

Youngjae sighed he couldn't even look at Jaebeom now, “Yugyeom, Truth or dare?”

“Truth,”

“H.. have you ever, have you kissed Bambam?”

“All the time.” 

“Wow,” Jackson laughed. “No hesitation.”

“Why would I need to hesitate? If you like someone, you like them nothing wrong with that.” Yugyeom said confidently.

“Ooh someone is sure of themselves,” Bambam grinned as Yugyeom smacked him on the shoulder.

“Anyway it's only a game,” Jackson laughed. “Go Yugyeom your turn.”

“Youngjae.”

“What? Why me again?” 

“Because he can, “ Bambam teased

“Youngjae, truth or dare?” 

Jaebeom could see Youngjae was starting to feel a little intimidated and overwhelmed by all the questioning, “Make this the last pick on Youngjae for a while, this is his first game guys.”

“Fair enough. So Truth or dare then?”

Youngjae sighed. “Truth.”

“Is there someone in this room, you want to be intimate with?”

“Who'd want me?” Youngjae suddenly snapped defensively. 

Suddenly the room went silent and Yugyeom realised asking that was a mistake.

“No one wants someone who's tainted, who would love someone like me? I mean it's okay to joke around and play games like this truth or dare, but, seriously In a real situation would any of you, if someone had been forcefully raped and violated, by some dirty scum off the street, would you want to touch them intimately?”

“Youngjae, is that how you really feel?” Jaebeom asked.

“How else am I supposed to feel? No one wants used goods.”

Jaebeom looked over at Yugyeom. “I'm cancelling that last request for Youngjae. You can ask me instead.”

“What the same question?”

“Any question you want, Yugi.”

“Okay so answer the same question.” Yugyeom grinned.

“Yes, there is, someone in this room, who I would love to be intimate with. My turn, Bambam Truth or dare?” Jaebeom asked

“Truth.”

“Have I ever lied about anything when it comes to relationships ever?”

“No, never.” Bambam knew exactly where Jaebeom was going with this. “My turn, JB truth or dare?”

“Truth,”

“JB, who's the person you want to be intimate with?” Bambam asked

“Youngjae.”

Youngjae sat stunned. He was sure he must have imagined that reply.

“Jinyoung truth or dare?” Jaebeom continued

“Truth." 

“Am I the type of person to take relationships lightly,”

“No. JB truth or dare?”

“Truth, Jinyoung.”

“JB, do you see Youngjae as used goods?”

“No, not at all. Mark, Truth or dare,” 

“Truth JB,”

“Mark for as long as you have known me do I take people's feelings lightly?”

“No, you don't. JB, truth or dare?” Mark asked

“Truth.”

“Do you have feelings for Youngjae?”

“Yes I do,” Jaebeom admitted. “Jackson truth or dare?”

“Truth, JB.”

“When we went out last week what did I say to you about Youngjae?”

“You said you had developed feelings him, but you were worried because you felt like it might scare him off if he knew. Youngjae, truth or dare?” Jackson asked

Youngjae's head was already spinning he was totally confused, were they playing with him?

“Truth,” Youngjae said sounding a little stressed

“If Jaebeom asked you would you date him?”

“Are you guys being funny here? Because I'm not laughing.”

“Would you date him yes or no?” Jackson pressed.

“Yes, I would happy now!?”

“Youngjae ask me anything you want right now anything,” Jaebeom instructed him.

“Truth or dare then?” he snapped

“Dare,”

Youngjae looked him in the eye, “Fine, if you're really serious, then I dare you to kiss me!”

“Is this what you want?”

“You said I could ask you anything Jaebeom. If you don't want to do it then that's fine I wouldn't blamphh...”

Jaebeom never gave him the chance to finish. He grabbed Youngjae by the collar, pulled him into him and kissed him fiercely.

“Woahhh, he did it he really did it,” Yugyeom said shocked.

“And without hesitation,” Jackson added his eyes wide.

“Wait, since when was JB gay?” Mark asked confused. “I thought he was straight.”

Jinyoung laughed. “He's always been gay, he's just good at hiding it.”

“Not any more he's not,” Bambam grinned.

Youngjae pulled himself away from Jaebeom's lips and stared at him panting. 

“Still think I'm not serious Youngjae, do you need me to show you again?”

“But why? Why me? I'm...”

“Tainted? Yes so you keep saying and I really wish you'd stop saying it. You heard these guys, they know I don't mix my words. I mean what I say. I don't think you're used goods and I don't think anything less of you because of what happened. You did nothing wrong, nothing at all.”

“I think we should go and get more snacks,” Jinyoung said motioning for the others to leave with him.”

“You guys talk, we'll be back soon with more snacks,” Jackson said as he left with the others.


	5. Chapter 5

The front door shut and the two young men were left alone together.

Jaebeom got up and stood in front of Youngjae holding his hand out to him, “Get up,” 

Youngjae took his hand and stood Jaebeom could see he was nervous now as he led him over to the couch and sat down with him his hand resting on Youngjae's knee.

“Youngjae, I really want you to stop thinking of yourself as tainted, you're not tainted, your soul was crushed. Not a good thing either, but you've been slowly building your self-confidence back up and you've been doing great, don't set yourself back now.”

He gently rubbed the inside of Youngjae's thigh and Youngjae closed his eyes. It felt nice even a little relaxing.

“I want to show you that I don't think you're tainted at all, If I were to say I wanted to touch you intimately just a little, how would you feel? I won't do anything unless you want me to though, okay?”

Youngjae's eyes flew open at those words and his face contorted slightly. 

“It won't hurt, I promise and I'm not asking for 'that'”

Youngjae looked Jaebeom in the eyes.

“Are you sure you really want to touch me?”

“I wouldn't have asked permission if I hadn't wanted to touch you. I want you to feel good, not tainted.”

Youngjae felt the sincerity in Jaebeom's voice, then making what was a huge a decision for himself he closed his eyes and nodded. 

Jaebeom gently continued to caress Youngjae's inner thigh, slowly edging closer to his manhood.

“Are you okay?” Jaebeom said as his hand gently caressed the bulge which had begun to develop in Youngjae's jeans.

Youngjae shivered as he nodded again his eyes still closed.

Jaebeom continued to rub and knead the bulge, causing Youngjae to wriggle slightly and emit small panting sounds.

Slowly Jaebeom reached for the belt on Youngjae's trousers and began to undo it, then the button, then the zipper. 

Youngjae froze and Jaebeom stopped immediately.

“Youngjae look at me,”

Slowly Youngjae opened his eyes and they met two soft big brown ones looking adoringly back at him.

“Do you want me to stop?”

Youngjae shook his head.

“Do you trust me?” Jaebeom's voice was sweet and soothing. 

Youngjae swallowed and nodded.

“Hold onto me if you need to.” Jaebeom offered looking into Youngjae's eyes.

Shivering, even more, he reached out and grabbed Jaebeom's shoulders with his hands tightly.

“Just relax, Youngjae. I promise I won't hurt you okay?”

Again Youngjae nodded, closing his eyes as Jaebeom continued to gently pull the zipper down.

As Jaebeom pulled it down his hand swept over Youngjae's now erect shaft and Youngjae gasped quite loudly, gripping Jaebeom's shoulders tighter. 

“Lift your hips a little,”

Youngjae complied again putting all his trust in Jaebeom. 

Within a few second's Youngjae's pants were down by his knees and his cock was standing upright.

“Youngjae, I want to touch you there, is that okay?” Jaebeom asked gently talking him through what was about to happen.

Youngjae nodded he was really shaking now and Jaebeom wondered if he should just stop.

“Youngjae if you don't want to me to do this, you tell me okay?”

“I'm a little scared, but, but, I... I… trust you.” 

Jaebeom leaned in and kissed Youngjae softy at the same time firmly grasping his erection and slowly pumping it.

Youngjae's muffled mewl vibrated against Jaebeom's lips as he continued to kiss him, trying to make this as gentle and as pleasant for Youngjae as possible.

Jeabeom broke the kiss and Youngjae's deep slow pants accompanied with more small mewls came through in the quiet of Jaebeom's house, as he bent down and gently took Youngjae's throbbing shaft into his mouth

“Ahh... Jaebeom, it feels so good, I... I...,” Youngjae's hips started thrusting upwards as he revelled in the pleasure that Jaebeom was bestowing in him.

Jaebeom felt Youngjae's hands grasp his shoulders even tighter and he picked up his pace a little, dipping his tongue in and out of the small hole, his mouth pulling up and then down lightly over Youngjae's cock, until Youngjae suddenly gripped his shoulders so tightly that it made him wince, but he didn't stop, he knew by Youngjae's movements how close he was to his orgasm and Youngjae's head was now leaning down to rest on Jaebeom's broad shoulders.

“Jaebeom, Jaebeom, It... I... can't... I feel weird, something's happening,”

“Relax! Just relax, Youngjae, trust me, it's okay. This is normal. If you want to hang on tighter you can, but just try and relax,” he urged the young man, quickly and gently before continuing to finish him off.

One last suck of the tip and a swirl of his tongue over the tiny hole undid the boy and Youngjae's whole body shuddered under the weight of his orgasm.

“Jeabeom, I... ahh... Jaebeom!!!” Youngjae did indeed grab tighter onto Jaebeom as he felt himself pulsing inside Jaebeom's soft, warm mouth.

Jaebeom cleanly finished every last drop of Youngjae's warm seed. 

Neither of them moved as Youngjae came down from his first taste of euphoria. His heavy panting loud, his head still resting on Jaebeom's shoulders and his hands still tightly gripping them. 

Youngjae said nothing he was as quiet as a mouse.

It was a few seconds later that Jaebeom felt the wet droplet's landing on his legs.

“Youngjae?” Jaebeom, a little panicked that he'd hurt or even shocked him, quickly pulled Youngjae up to look at him, a worried look on his face

Youngjae was crying as he looked into Jaebeom's eyes.

“Oh god! I'm so sorry Youngjae,” Jaebeom said his face paling and an apologetic tone in his voice, “Did I hurt you? I shouldn't have done this, I shouldn't have let you go through with this, I shoul...” 

Youngjae stopped him mid with a passionate kiss leaning hard into Jaebeom pushing him back onto the couch taking the other young man by surprise.

Breaking the kiss slowly Youngjae pressed is head to Jaeboem's chest and held onto him tightly. “I really like you, Jaebeom, I have for a while!” he said softly and quietly, his tears slowing.

Jaebeom couldn't help it as he burst into tears, relieved as Youngjae broke his silence, partly due to the fact he was actually fine, and partly due to the surprise confession. 

He clung onto Youngjae tightly as a teary smile came to his face. “I really like you too Youngjae! Stay by my side. I'll look after you, I'll treat you right, I'll prove to you more and more each day that you're not tainted, until the day when you finally believe it yourself, and after.”

He took Youngjae's face in his hands and looked into his eyes, his expression soft and gentle. “You are perfect in my eyes, Choi Youngjae. I will make you see this.” Jaebeom promised him.

“I trust you completely, Jaebeom.”

Jaebeom smiled lovingly at him.

Since that first day, Youngjae had come a very long way.

But he still had a long way to go.

~*~

“HONEY WE'RE HOME!!” Jackson's voice rang out as the door to Jaebeom's house was thrown opened a short while later

“You'd make a sucky ninja,” Bambam grinned.

The others walked back in behind him, their bags full of more snacks and drinks.

“Welcome back guys. I ordered pizza and chicken.” Jaebeom said with a smile on his face.

Jinyoung grinned at Jaebeom as he saw the way Youngjae was sitting on Jaebeom's knee, snuggled under Jaebeom's chin, clinging to him like a koala would a tree.

“So did you two have fun while we were out?” Jackson pressed, wiggling his eyebrows.

“We had a good talk, didn't we Youngjae?” Jaebeom replied casually. 

Youngjae blushed and nodded not saying a word.

The doorbell suddenly rang.

“Speaking of Pizza and chicken,”Jaebeom smiled as Youngjae quickly got up and moved over onto the couch.

“Chicken and Pizza order for Jaebeom?”

“Yeah that's me,” he said as he got his money out. “Thirty thousand won yeah?”

“Er, yeah, that's right.” The delivery guy said checking the docket.

Jaebeom handed him the money and took the stuff. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, you too.”

Jaebeom shut the door and Jinyoung grabbed the pizzas, leaving him with the chicken. “I'll give you a hand there JB,” he smirked as he walked to the kitchen Jaebeom following behind.

Once in the kitchen Jinyoung began to sort out the pizzas and asked his torrent of questions.

“So what happened?”

“We talked,”

“And?”

“And stuff.”

“Stuff? Come on JB. Spit it out.”

“We talked and I may have slightly initiated the minimal amount of intimacy I believed he might have been able to deal with.”

“What exactly did you do?”

“I went down on him.”

“Seriously?” Jinyoung looked surprised. 

“Yeah, he was a little scared, but I asked his permission and made sure he was okay. I gave him the option to stop if he wanted to, but he said he trusted me and allowed me to continue.”

“That's great, that much progress in eight months.”

“Yeah he did great, I'm so proud of him. I talked to him through it. I was so worried I would either scare him off or hurt him, but I did neither. Thank goodness.”

“So does he know how you feel about him?”

“Yeah he does and he feels the same way. In fact, he said it first.” Jaebeom said smiling softly.

“That's great! I bet that made you happy?” Jinyoung said patting his back.

“Of course it did. I've liked him for weeks, and he seemed to have felt the same, but I just didn't think he'd be ready for a relationship, which is why once he told me, I told him.”

“Youngjae's a great kid, just make sure you look after him right.”

“I will. I already promised him and I meant it! I think I'm really lucky. He's such a sweet thing and he's very beautiful. Like an angel.” 

“Ugh, you sap! Anyway, we should get this stuff back out before they send a search party.”

“Right good point.” Jaebeom agreed.

~*~ 

Once the other two had left for the kitchen Jackson and Bambam had jumped on the couch either side of Youngjae.

Both put their arms around behind Youngjae.

“So,” Jackson smirked.

“What did you guys really do while we were gone?” Bambam finished.

Youngjae blushed, “We talked about; things.”

“And,”

Youngjae blushed more.

“Come on Youngjae, the scent of male hormones is ripe in this room, what did you guys do?”

Youngjae looked at the floor and shuffled hs feet biting his bottom lip gently.

“Ahh see you guys did do something,” Jackson smirked and then whispered in Youngjae's ear.

Youngjae's face went bright red and he giggled and shook his head.

“No? Okay, then what about...?” Again Jackson whispered in his ear.

Youngjae's silence and lack of response accompanied by the deep red look on his face gave the boys the answer they wanted.

Jackson went over to Bambam and confirmed what he had asked.

“Oooh, Youngjae, you devil you, talk about coming out of your shell a little.”

“Yeah, you should be proud of your self. Also, JB's hooked on you!”

Youngjae was grinning, but he hid behind his hands totally embarrassed.

“Come on, leave poor Youngjae alone you two brats,” Mark chastised, dragging them both away from Youngjae and the couch, forcing them to sit on the floor.

“You okay Youngjae? You have to keep an eye on these two, they're the devil incarnate, I swear.”

Youngjae nodded and smiled, his face still beet red.

“You two menaces,” Jinyoung said as he came back out of the kitchen armed with two open pizza boxes and some serviettes. “We heard you while we were in there,” he said nodding at Bambam and Jackson. “Stop being nosy little brats and make yourself useful. Clean the table off.”

Jackson and Bambam complied and Jinyoung set the pizzas on the table, followed by Jaebeom, bringing the chicken in and setting it down next to the pizzas.

“Youngjae, come here,” Jaebeom smiled at him with his arms reaching out for him. 

Without hesitation, Youngjae moved swiftly to Jaebeom's side and Jaebeom held him close. “So I need to tell you all something. Youngjae already knows what I'm going to say, I asked him if it was okay to tell you this before you got back.”

“You're dating!!!” Jackson smirked.

Jaebeom sighed and Youngjae laughed.

“Yes, thanks, Jackson. Youngjae and I have decided to date.”

“That's great,” Yugyeom grinned.

“Nice going JB,” Mark said patting him on the back.

“And yes, we were a little intimate while you were out, and we're telling you this because we knew there'd be questions and we can see it on all of your faces. All we ask is that you don't annoy Youngjae with questions. Jackson and Bambam, we mean you!”

“That's a big step for you Youngjae, I mean allowing us to know what's happened.” Jinyoung acknowledged.

“I just felt you guys have always been here for me since that day and I think I wanted you to know because I felt it was such an important stepping stone in my recovery to be able to allow Jaebeom to do what he did. I was scared, but he was so sweet and gentle and he made me feel comfortable.”

“Sweet and gentle? You sure you've got the right guy Youngjae?” Jackson smirked getting up and running around the room as Jaebeom let go of Youngjae and ran after him. 

Jinyoung put his arm around Youngjae, “You're really brave discussing this with us. Does it cause you problems, though I mean didn't it make you think of what happened back then?”

“At first it did, but after Jaebeom talked me through things, I was really okay with him touching me like that,”

“Wow all I can say is firstly you have come a long way since then, and secondly you must've tamed JB because usually, he's such a prude,” Jinyoung said smirking over at Jaebeom, who was busy shoving Jackson's head into the couch and slapping him on his butt, while Jackson apologised profusely.

Youngjae's phone went off suddenly making him jump. He pulled it out and answered it.

“Hi eomma, yeah we're having fun, it's great, yeah,” he laughed then suddenly his face dropped and he seemed like he was afraid.

“The court date? That soon? Okay. Mmm. I'm okay eomma. Yes, I love you too. No, no I'll be okay, yeah. Thanks. Bye.” Youngjae was shaking as he hung up the phone.

Jaebeom immediately went to him, taking him in his arms. “Youngjae don't be afraid of facing them. I'll come with you.”

“We all will,” Jinyoung said.

Everyone nodded.

“We'll stand by your side Youngjae,” Mark said ruffling his hair.

“I could always talk them to death?”

“You'd get us kicked out Jackson.” Yugyeom sighed.

“You don't know that?”

“It's you, of course I know that.”

“Jackson, you'd better behave.” Mark insisted.

“Fine then. I'll just be the fly on the wall.” Jackson grinned at Youngjae flapping his hands like wings.

“I'd better get the fly spray then,” Bambam smirked.

Youngjae started to laugh a little. It was times like these when they started acting a little crazy just to make him laugh and take his mind off things, that he was grateful for the most.


	6. Chapter 6

Gradually the night wore on and finally, only Jinyoung and Youngjae were left awake. 

Jaebeom had headed off into his bedroom, Bambam and Yugyeom had fallen asleep on the mattress on the floor over in the far corner. Jackson had fallen asleep across the bottom of their mattress and Mark had headed off into the spare room half an hour earlier.

Jinyoung sat by Youngjae on the couch where Youngjae would be sleeping. 

Youngjae was wrapped up comfortably in some blankets that Jaebeom had given to him and Jinyoung noted how adorable he looked all scrunched up in them.

“You know Youngjae, I really admire you,” Jinyoung said.

“Why?”

“It takes a lot of courage to let someone into your heart after what's happened to you. It can't be easy?”

Youngjae wrapped his arms around his legs and sighed. “I fought with myself so many times about telling Jaebeom how I felt. I really have liked him a lot ever since that day he saved me when I ran onto the road. I guess in all honesty you were the first friends I made since we moved here.”

“You scared us all. We had to see it on social media someone uploaded the whole thing. That's how we knew where you both were.”

“I'm so sorry Jinyoung, I caused you all so much trouble back then.”

“Don't worry about it, you've really worked hard to get where you are now. You've been trying really hard to deal with this and it's okay if you have a bit of a relapse, none of us will judge you for it.”

Youngjae smiled from underneath the blankets. “You guys have all been so good to me, Jaebeom especially.”

“JB was really happy you admitted how you felt about him, he'd felt that way about you for a while you know,” Jinyoung said smiling at him.

“I was just so glad I was brave enough to tell him. I kind of figured that after what transpired between us that it was okay to tell him.”

“Of course it was. JB seriously has invested himself in you from day one, only now it's manifested into something more for both of you. But are you okay with this?”

“If it's Jaebeom, I know I'll be fine. Plus I think I'm lucky to have the six of you. You're like the eomma of the group, Jaebeom is like the appa. Marks's the one that seems to be the one who's the voice of reason. Yugyeom and Bambam are like the mischevious little babies and Jackson, well he's kind of like the kid that just needs everyone's attention, but at least he's funny, so he's kind of like the comic relief at the same time.”

“And you're the sunshine and the genius.” Jinyoung grinned.

“I wouldn't say that I'm a genius,” Youngjae blushed.

Yugyeom has you in his phone as that. In fact he has names for all of us in there.”

Youngjae laughed quietly. “That seems like something that Yugyeom would do.”

Jinyoung smiled. “He's the oddest kid really, but we love him.”

Youngjae yawned suddenly and Jinyoung patted him on the knee. 

“I'd better let you get some sleep,” he said as he yawned himself. “That's your fault,” he joked as he got up and Youngjae grinned. “Sleep well Youngjae, we'll see you in the morning.”

“You too Jinyoung. Night.”

“Night,” came the softt reply as Jinyoung entered the spare room quietly so that he wouldn't wake Mark.

Youngjae watched until the door had shut and reached over to the lamp beside the arm of the couch and turned it off. 

Smiling to himself he sighed and closed his eyes.

These guys really were the best.

~*~

Jaebeom awoke with a start and looked over at his clock four twenty five am. Sighing he turned on his bedside lamp and got out of bed, deciding that a bathroom trip was in order.  
On his way back, he was surprised to see one Choi Youngjae sleeping upright against the wall of his room close to the door. He hadn't spotted him on the way out being too sleepy to even notice. 

Kneeling down by him and gently poking him in the arm, Jaeboem smiled. “Come on wake up you, this can't be comfortable at all.”

Youngjae muttered something and Jaebeom chuckled. “I don't care if you want to sleep there, the couch is way more comfortable.

Again Youngjae sleepily and almost incoherently mumbled.

This time Jaebeom blushed. “Sleep talking he has to be,”

“No, I really am awake,” Youngjae's voice finally pierced the silence.

“So you really want to sleep in my room then?”

Youngjae nodded. “I'd feel safer there. Out there feels a little too scary right now.”

“I understand, you've never stayed over before, at my place before, it must be a little overwhelming for you?”

Youngjae nodded.

“Well, come on then,” Jaebeom offered Youngjae his hand pulling the other young man up and leading him by said hand into his bedroom shutting the door behind them. 

“You take this side.” Jaebeom offered as he walked back around to the far side of the bed. 

Youngjae gratefully climbed in and curled up into a little ball, sticking close to the edge so as not to inconvenience Jaebeom any. 

Jaebeom looked over and grinned as he got into the bed then pulled the bedding up over them both.

“I probably should have thought to have asked you if you would have felt more comfortable sharing my bed, but I also didn't want to force you, Youngjae.”

“It's okay Jaebeom, really. I'm glad you're as thoughtful towards me as you already are.”

“You can come over a bit more Youngjae it can't be comfortable right on the edge like that.”

“Are you sure? I just didn't want to...”

“Its fine, now come on shift over a bit,” Jaebeom said reaching across and gently pulling Youngjae more towards the middle. “There isn't that better?”

Youngjae smiled at him. “Mm, much better. Thank you, and thank you for allowing me to sleep in here with you too. It must be rather annoying to have to suddenly share like this.”

“It's fine,” Jaebeom grinned and sidled up closer to the young man from behind spooning him. “Are you okay with me being this close?”

“It's nice actually. So warm!”

“And what about if I do this?” Jaebeom asked as he put his arms around Youngjae and hugging him close. “Does this bother you?”

“That's even nicer. I like it.” Youngjae confirmed. “I feel a little more comfortable in here than being out there, even though Jackson and the other two are out there. Would you mind though, Jaebeom, if I did this?” Youngjae brought his hands to meet Jaebeom's around his waist and held them there. 

“No, of course not, if you feel comfortable and it's not bothering you that's good. I'm certainly happy with it. You're making great progress with your fear of being touched too now. I really am proud of you!”

“Really?”

“Yeah Really.”

Youngjae sighed contentedly and closed his eyes.

“You might need to turn off the lamp since it's nearest you now.” Jaebeom chuckled.

“Oh yeah, sorry Jaebeom.” Opening his eyes, Youngjae quickly turned off the lamp. 

“How about you call me JB since we're dating now, I have no problem with it.”

“Are you sure I mean...”

“You at least automatically have that privilege those jokers out there had to earn it.”

Youngjae laughed and squeezed Jaebeom's hands underneath his, “Night then JB, he said with an unseen smile.

“Night Youngjae. Sleep well.”

Youngjae gave yet another content sigh and closed his eyes again.

Being in Jaebeom's arms safe and warm, was definitely better than sleeping on the couch


	7. Chapter 7

A sleepy Jaebeom opened his eyes and squinted as the sun streamed through the crack in his curtains hitting him in the face and he turned away quickly from the piercing light. 

As he became more coherent Jaebeom felt a strong pair of legs tangled around his and soft supple hands resting against his chest. He turned to see Youngjae sleeping peacefully beside him, lightly snoring but looking relaxed and he couldn't help the smile that worked its way onto his face. 

Carefully manoeuvring himself to lay on his side so he could look at Youngjae without waking him, Jaebeom gently reached over and put an arm around him. 

Youngjae shifted in his sleep giving Jaebeom the chance to swiftly pull him closer to him so that Youngjae's head nestled under his chin. 

Jaebeom gave a loud contended sigh and wondered when he became so accustomed to touching another human so intimately and another smiled breached his face. It seems that Choi Youngjae had made quite an impact on him, something that no one else had ever done. 

There was one thing Jaebeom was extremely happy about, for once Youngjae hadn't woken up crying in his sleep. He had done that a lot since he had been attacked, but last night, not a sound, and Jaebeom had been grateful, that for once Youngjae's sleep had been a safe and uninterrupted one.

Jaebeom grinned as he felt an arm fall over his back and the sigh of the younger man said that he too was content to be where he was right at this moment. 

“Good morning sleepyhead,” Jaebeom smiled as he kissed the young man on the top of the head.

“Good morning JB,” Youngjae replied as he hugged Jaebeom tightly.

“Did you sleep well?”

“I did once I was with you,” Youngjae said with a grin as he looked up. “I didn't even have that awful dream I usually have. Thank you for letting me stay in here with you.” 

Jaebeom noted the sincerity in the tone of Youngjae's voice and he gently touched his cheek. “Look if this is going to help, why don't you sleep with me whenever we have these.”

“I was hoping you'd say that,” Youngjae smirked.

“You're being cheeky now Choi Youngjae.” Jaebeom laughed as he tapped Youngjae's nose with his finger.

“I guess that just means I do feel really comfortable around you, I feel safe and warm around you JB, I really do.”

Jaebeom felt his grin probably looked extremely cheesy right now, but he was inwardly ecstatic that Youngjae had felt that way.

“Youngjae, we've known each other for quite a while now and well, since we know how we feel about each other, what would you say if...” Jaebeom paused for a moment wondering if this might be too soon to ask of the other young man.

“What is it JB, you can say whatever you need to, I'll listen.”

Jaeboem's heart raced but he took a deep breath and gathered his courage. “How would you feel if I asked you to be my boyfriend?”

Youngjae looked into Jaebeom's eyes a little surprised. “Y, y. you want me to be your boyfriend?”

Jaebeom suddenly hugged the young man to him. Gently, but tighter than he ever had before. “Yes, I really do Youngjae. You don't have to answer right away, you can think about it if it's too soon I understand.”

Suddenly he felt the other young man shaking and tears fell from his eyes.

“Youngjae I, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just that I really do like you... a hell of a lot and it's got nothing to do with what happened, I just... I just fell in love...” Jaebeom caught himself, shocked by his own words, but it was true he had fallen In love. “I fell in love with you,” he made himself continue, I never thought I'd ever love anyone I've been so numb ever since my brother died, that I never thought I could feel again, not like this, but you, you came into my life and turned it completely upside down.”

Youngjae sniffled through his tears as he buried his head in Jaebeom's chest. “Why are you apologising for making me the happiest guy on earth. You know how I feel about being tainted, and I'll be honest with you JB, I do still have suicidal thoughts somedays, but then I see you and everything feels like it's going to be okay. I never thought anyone would ever except me after what happened, but you... if I'm going to be with anyone, it would have to be you.”

“Youngjae...” Jaebeom felt his heart skip a beat as he heard Youngjae's sincere words and he leant in gently and kissed him. 

Youngjae sighed as tears fell down over his cheeks. Jaebeom made him feel wanted and loved. Not tainted and spoiled and Youngjae began to realise that maybe just maybe he could live a normal life with this man in front of him.

“So is that a yes then? Jaebeom grinned as he broke the kiss the two of them smiling like lunatics.

Youngjae nodded and leaned in for another kiss, which Jaebeom freely gave without hesitation.

“I have a boyfriend,” Youngjae grinned happily.”I actually have a boyfriend.”

Jaebeom laughed at Youngjae's expression, it was one of shock and disbelief but happy and excited all at the same time.

Suddenly Youngjae got out of bed much to Jaebeom's surprise, ran to the bedroom door and threw it open. “HEY GUYS,” He yelled as he ran into the lounge room. “ GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, competition is now closed. No more entries will be accepted. I will be drawing the winners tonight 25th sept2018 about 9 pm Perth time Good luck everyone

Jaebeom's laughter could be heard from the room as Youngjae shared his excitement with a bunch of sleepy half awake men.

Getting up Jaebeom wandered into the lounge and put his arm around Youngjae and grinned at the sea of surprised faces staring back at them. 

Jinyoung suddenly laughed and got up from the floor and his coffee, much to everyone's shock, Jinyoung never walked away from his coffee and gave Youngjae a gentle slap on the back. “Well, congratulations. Now, no more of this tainted rubbish you hear me?” Jinyoung ordered.

Youngjae grinned and nodded. “I'll do my best to get that out of my head.”

“It's not going to happen overnight,” Mark added, “We understand that but we believe in you, so you should start believing in yourself more.”

“That's right,” Jackson added, “You need to remember what happened that night wasn't your fault and that you in no way deserved it!”

Youngjae nodded again. I'll do my best I promise.”

“So here's how we'll help then,” Jackson said grabbing him and pulling him away from Jaebeom holding both Youngjae's hands in his own. “Repeat after me. I never asked for it and it wasn't my fault!”

Youngjae looked over at Jaebeom a little embarrassed but Jaebeom nodded his encouragement.

Taking a deep breath in and looked directly into Jackson's eyes. 

“What happened wasn't my fault. I never asked for it and didn't deserve it.”

“Louder,” Jinyoung demanded resting his hand on Youngjae's shoulder

“What happened wasn't my fault I never asked for it and I didn't deserve it!!”

“Now shout it out!” Jackson encouraged him, “As loud as you can.”

Taking a deeper breath in Youngjae nodded. “WHAT HAPPENED WASN'T MY FAULT. I NEVER ASKED FOR IT AND I DIDN'T DESERVE IT!!!”

“Good!! Again, just like that.” Jinyoung smiled

“WHAT HAPPENED WASN'T MY FAULT. I NEVER ASKED FOR IT AND I DIDN'T DESERVE IT!!!” 

“One more time Youngjae,” Jaebeom smiled at him joining the encouragement line.

Youngjae nodded and complied belting it out as hard and as loud as he could. “WHAT HAPPENED WASN'T MY FAULT. I NEVER ASKED FOR IT AND I DIDN'T DESERVE IT!!!” 

“Now how do you feel?” Jinyoung asked grinning at him.

Youngjae suddenly found himself smiling a little.“It's kind of weird doing that but, it feels like every time I say it like a bit more weight is lifted off my shoulders about the whole thing.”

“Just do that every day, look in the mirror and believe in what you're saying. This doesn't work for everyone Youngjae so don't think we're trying to pretend that what happened to you never happened, but if we can help you through it all...” Jinyoung smiled at him

“We damn well will!” Jackson finished.

“I'm definitely behind you one hundred percent Youngjae,” Yugyeom said smiling at him warmly.

“We all are.” Bambam grinned.

Youngjae's face lit up the room like the sun on the darkest of days.

“Group hug!” Jackson grinned as he dragged Jaebeom into the middle with Youngjae. 

Suddenly he and Youngjae were enveloped by the warmth and love of the other five.

Youngjae laughed and Jaebem grimaced, then suddenly smiled. 

Jinyoung smiled as he saw Jaebeom smiling so warmly again and it warmed his heart that Youngjae, with all his own fears and self-doubt, had managed to reopen Jaeboem's and at the same time start to believe in himself a little more. 

Jaebeom caught the smile on Jinyoung's face as he glanced over at him and he smiled back. It had been far too long since he'd let them in and he realised just how much he'd actually missed the closeness they all had once shared before his brother had passed away.

It was Jinyoung who stepped away from the group hug first and the others followed suit.

Youngjae and Jaebeom both gave a sigh of relief, still, both had a smile on their face and Youngjae reached down and took Jaebeom's hand in his. He had felt so alone after everything that had happened but Jaebeom and the others had come along and turned his world around and for the better.

All he had to do now was get through the court case and it would all be hopefully over.


	9. Chapter 9

Jaebeom had disappeared into the kitchen along with Mark. It was their turn to make breakfast.

Suddenly a roar of laughter, a lot of slapping and a whining Jackson could be heard from the lounge.

“Sounds like Jackson lost” Jaebeom grinned.

Mark took a peek out of the kitchen door and laughed too. “Yeah, he sure did. Now he's being made to do push-ups with Youngjae on his back.”

“Nice. I'll bet that was Jinyoung's idea for the punishment.” 

“He's sitting over by them with his usual smug and satisfied look on his face, so yeah I think he did.” Mark chuckled.

“He's definitely the type that butter wouldn't melt In his mouth.”

Mark laughed. “I think that's one of the reasons why I love him so much, he's so prim and proper one minute, savage and rough the next, but you know exactly what you get with him. He never tries to be something he's not.”

“Yeah, that's our Jinyoungie,” Jaebeom said throwing the eggs in the pan. “How's the toast coming along?”

Mark suddenly sprang back into action and moved into the kitchen again. “Oops, helps if I actually put the bread in the toaster.”

Jaebeom laughed and pat Mark on the back. “Look at you, all I have to do is mention him and you're gone.”

“I can't help it if I have the most awesome guy in the world by my side now can I.”

“Say that after you feed him burnt toast.” Jaebeom shook the spatula at him grinning.

“I'll pass,” Mark grinned.

“Thought you might,” Jaebeom smirked raising his eyebrows. “ Do you want to go tell those clowns to clear the table? I'll watch the toast I'm done with the rice, bacon and eggs, just throwing the kimchi in the pan now.”

“Sure,” Mark smiled heading out of the kitchen and into the lounge. “JB says to clear the table off, you clowns. Breakfast is almost done.”

“So what's on the menu today?” Jackson queried. 

“Bacon, eggs and toast with kimchi and rice.”

“Nice!” Bambam said as he helped Jackson clean up the cards.

Yugyeom and Youngjae put the snacks up on the bookshelf and then headed into the kitchen to grab the stuff they needed to set the small table with.

Jaebeom stopped Youngjae on the way out and kissed him. “Thank you for helping out.”

Youngjae smiled looking back at Jaebeom as he walked away successfully managing to walk into the door frame on the way out. 

Jaebeom and Mark laughed as did Youngjae although his laugh was more due to embarrassment rather than humour.

“Who's gone on who now?” Mark smirked over at Jaebeom as Youngjae finally made it out of the kitchen.

“Shut up and take these out smartass,” Jaebeom chuckled handing Mark the plates with the bacon, eggs and toast on and following him out of the kitchen with the rice and Kimchi.

Once the food had been set out on the table the boys sat down and Jaebeom gave thanks for the food.

“So what are we planning for today?” Yugyeom asked as they chowed down on their food.

“Hiking?” Jackson suggested.

“Ew no that's too much like exercise,” Bambam complained.

“What's wrong with exercise you slacker?” Jinyoung said swatting Bambam around the back of the head.

“Nothing as long as I don't have to do it,” he said smirking.

“What about mini golf?” Mark suggested.

“Ooh that's not a bad idea,” Bambam agreed.

“You have to walk around the mini course. Walking means exercise, you don't like exercise, remember?” Jinyoung said in a mocking tone of voice.

The others laughed.

“Haha Jinyoung,” Bambam replied sarcastically.

“We also haven't been bowling for a while,” Jaebeom reminded them.

“There's always the pedal boats they're fun,” Jinyoung threw in.

“Oh, what about the haunted house,” Yugyeom added.

No way,” Youngjae, Bambam and Jackson replied in unison.

“It's alright for you, Mr I'm not scared of anything,” Jackson huffed at him. “We've got three cowards now, including Youngjae,” he said pointing at the other two and himself.

“You're not scared of stuff like that are you, Youngjae?” Jebeom grinned.

Youngjae nodded. “Not going there, nope, no way, no how, uh uh.”

“You forgot me...” Mark laughed.

“Okay so we have four cowards,” Jackson corrected.

Jaebeom thought for a moment and then getting up grabbed a paper and pen from his desk. “So I'll write these down on paper, including the haunted house. We'll pick out the papers until we reach three of one activity and that's the one we'll go do. How does that sound?”

“Sounds fair,” Jackson replied and the others all nodded and mumbled their agreement.

Jaebeom wrote down each activity three times and then rolling them up tightly placed them into a small container and shook them up. “Okay so starting from Yugyeom, everyone pick one. Once everyone has them, then we'll look at them and one by one read them out and see what we have. We'll do them seven at a time because we may even get an activity three out the first round.”

Yugyeom reached in and took one and then handed the container around until it came back to Jaebeom who took his last.

“Okay Yugi, you go first,” Jaebeom said putting the container onto the floor.

“Haha I have haunted house.”

“Mark?”

“Er I have Hiking.”

“Jinyoung?”

“I have Mini golf.”

“Bambam?” 

“Oh god haunted house,” Bambam cringed. 

“Youngjae?”

“I got Bowling Jaebeom.”

“Jackson?”

“I got pedal boats.”

“And I got,” Jaebeom began as he looked at his and then started laughing “Bowling.”

“So we have two bowling, haunted house. one of everything else Its anything goes right now.”

“Okay, so I guess since there's only a few left in there whatever gets pulled out next besides, pedal boats, mini golf and hiking is what we do today.”

“Jinyoung you pick the next one you have better luck than the rest of us,” Bambam pleaded with him.

“Sure,” he said as he reached into the container that Mark was now holding for him, and pulled one out. “Want me to read it now?”

“Yeah might as well,” Jaebeom agreed.

Jinyoung slowly opened it up and looked at it hiding it away from the others, then made a face and glanced over at Bambam, Jackson and Youngjae and a large mischevious grin appeared over his face.

“Oh god we're doomed,” Jackson groaned.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who participated in the competition. The winners were notified and I will send stuff offas soon as I can. Bammiebibi and Salala (sorry Sal, couldn't find your post So I only put half your name). I need you to contact me you guys got runner-ups.xiyanala@gmail.com. Sorry to everyone who didn't win. My hubby drew out the names as I wanted the drawing to be non-biased. However, once I get my signed albums I will have another competition. Yes signed! I will be giving away a signed Album.
> 
> love you guys a ton and thank you for supporting me!
> 
> Lots of love Youngjaes wife. <3

“Come on Jinyoung don't look at us like that man.” Bambam begged

Jinyoung started to laugh as he kept peeking at his piece of paper and looking over at them.

“If you really have the haunted house I'm really gonna cry,” Jackson pouted.

Jinyoung laughed louder and then showed it to Mark, Mark shook his head and sighed, Jaebeom and Yugi strained to see it, both smirking after they did.

“Mark, what'd it say? Come on tell us.” Jackson begged.

Mark shook his head and grinned.

“It's the haunted house isn't it?” Youngjae said his anxiety already peaking a little.

“Of course,” Jinyoung smirked. “It's the kind of haunted house where you just don't know if that last ghost.... pin is gonna fall or stay.”

“Ahhhhh Jinyouuuung you asshole, you had bowling,” Jackson sighed and rolled onto his back, arms and legs splayed out relieved.

“You really had us believing it was the damn haunted house,” Bambam said throwing a serviette at him.

Youngjae just sighed and leaned back onto the couch as his anxiety calmed back down a little.

Jinyoung, Mark, Jaebeom and Yugyeom all laughed as the other three's relief came through resoundingly.

“So bowling it is then,” Jackson grinned.

“Actually,” Jinyoung smirked holding up his piece of paper for them all to see, “It really was the haunted house.'

“You jerk Park,!!” Jackson groaned, jumping on him, pretending to beat him up.

Youngjae swallowed and said nothing, but smiled when Jaebeom squeezed his arm reassuringly.

“I'd rather go hiking,” Bambam sighed.

“Too late for that,” Jinyoung grinned as Jackson finally let him up.

“Who wants to hold my hand on the way through?” Jackson asked.

“I'm holding Yugi's,” Bambam quickly replied.

“Said who?” Yugyeom grinned, “I'm going through on my own. You two scaredy cats can hold hands.”

“Fine!” Bambam pouted taking Jackson by the hand. “It's you and me, Wang.”

“No doubt I'll be the one to come get you two out anyway,” Yugyeom smirked.

Jackson pulled a face as he and Bambam hugged each other, causing Youngjae to laugh, despite his own desire to not want to be anywhere near a haunted house.

“I'll go through with Youngjae, “ Jaebeom said hugging the young man to him tightly.

“I'll take Mark then,” Jinyoung smirked as he reached over and took Mark's hand in his.

“Why don't the four of us go through together? Bam, Jackson?”

“Ha not on your life Jinyoung!” Jackson said rather opposed to the idea. 

“Yeah, we know you! You'll just make things worse for us!”

“Tch, so judgemental you two.”

“No, we just know how mischevious you are. We'll end up crying like babies in the corner.”

Youngjae laughed as Bam and Jackson moved further away from Jinyoung.

“JB, what about you and Youngjae? You two want to pair up with us?”

“Youngjae? What did you want to do?”

“I'll trust Jinyoung since this is my first time and I'd like to think he'd go easy on me,” Youngjae said peeking around the side of Jaebeom and looking over at Jinyoung with big soft pleading eyes.

Jinyoung looked at him and sighed, “Damn it Youngjae, you're too cute for me to want to be mean to you. Fine. I'll behave if you're coming with us.” 

Youngjae crawled around past Jaebeom and hugged Jinyoung.

“Okay okay, enough of the being adorable, you cute little brat,” Jinyoung laughed hugging him back, then gently pushing him away, slapping his backside as he crawled back to Jaebeom and clung to his arm.

Jackson sighed and leaned over to Youngjae, “He's not gonna be nice, he 's gonna scare us all with Yugi's help. Those two don't scare much at all.”

“Have some faith in me Wang,” Jinyoung chastised him playfully slapping his arm. “I'm not always that mischevious.”

“Yes you are,” Mark grinned. 

“Who's side are you on?” Jinyoung pouted. “I'll send you through with Jackson and Bam if you're not careful.”

“We'll take him!” Jackson replied, hopeful that Mark would agree.

But it wasn't to be.

Mark went into cute mode his eyes looked like that of a sad little kitten and he pouted. His hands came up in balled fists beside his cheeks and he wriggled into his lover, rubbing himself over him. “I love you, Jinyoungiee,” he said in the tiniest and cutest of voices

Jinyoung bit his lip trying to ignore him as Mark drove him crazy with his cuteness. After less than thirty seconds he grabbed Mark and kissed him soundly. He could never resist Mark's kitty attack. 

“Damn you Mark Tuan!” Jinyoung sighed as he looked lovingly into Mark's eyes. “You really don't play fair.”

Mark grinned, the satisfaction of beating down Park Jinyoung showing on his face.

“Right so that's settled. We'll finish breakfast, clean up and head out,” Jaebeom said taking charge once again.

Youngjae looked around the room as everyone smiled and got stuck into their food.

Even though he hated the idea of the haunted house, he loved the fact that these crazy guys were his friends and decided there and then, that even though he was a little scared and nervous, that he wouldn't miss this experience with them for the world.

 

~*~

 

Arriving at the haunted house the boys piled out of Jaebeom's car and he and Jinyoung collected everyone's money then went and paid for the tickets.

Walking back over he handed the tickets out and then stood to the side before speaking.

“So let's get into our groups, choose a leader and then and decide who's going through first.”

“Are we four still going through together?” Youngjae asked Jinyoung.

“We can do if you still want to, or you can just go through with Jaebeom if you want.”

“It's up to you Youngjae,” Jaebeom shrugged and replied as Youngjae turned to him with a questioning glance.

“Hmm, maybe I'll go through with Jaebeom on my own since this is the first time I've ever done this kind of thing.”

“Be warned, I will not spare you if I come across you guys in there,” Jinyoung warned him.

Youngjae nodded. “Understood. So there's already scary stuff in there plus Jinyoung and Yugyeom.”

Jackson grabbed Youngjae by the arm are you crazy he and Yugyeom are good at this!” 

Youngjae shrugged, “Well I need to learn to toughen up somehow, might as well start here, not that I think it's going to work,” he said honestly.

Jaebeom chuckled. “I'll be with you.”

“Yeah but you scare easily too,” Jackson smirked.

“Shut up Wang, my manliness is at stake here,” Jaebeom said pulling Jackson's cap over his eyes.

“I'm glad you still have yours, mine left the second I got out of the car!”

“Ditto,” Bambam agreed dabbing. "For courage," he grinned looking at Youngjae.

“That's not going to help you once you're in there,” Yugyeom smirked.

“Thanks,” Bambam said his nerves showing.

“We're doomed,” Jackson sighed.

“Right so, Jackson and Bambam, Mark and Jinyoung, Youngjae and I; and Yugyeom the brave is on his own. So I am assuming the leaders of the paired groups are Myself, Jinyoung and,” Iaebeom paused laughing as Bambam and Jackson held tightly to each other. “well I guess either of you two could be the leader, or not, since you're both just as big a scaredy cat as the other.”

“We're not scared,” Bambam protested. 

“We're just preparing our selves mentally,” Jackson insisted.

“AHHH SOMETHING TOUCHED ME,” Jackson grabbed his neck as he screamed and ran forward, throwing himself onto the ground, curled himelf up into a little ball and rolled around.

Jackson screaming and running off suddenly caused Bambam to scream and run off to the right, hiding behind Jinyoung and Mark.

Behind him, Yugyeom stood laughing heartily as he held up the weed he had just touched Jackson's neck with. The others, now including Bambam, who had realised what had actually happened, were all laughing loudly as Jackson splayed himself out onto the floor arms and legs wide lying as still as a board.

“YAH, Kim Yugyeom,” Jackson shouted from the ground as he started laughing too. 

Yugyeom walked over to him and helped him up from the floor. 

“You could have waited until we were inside,” Jackson said as he smacked Yugyeom on the arm. “That doesn't count as a scare point!”

Yugyeom laughed more as he rubbed his arm where Jackson had smacked him.

“Does NOTHING phase you?” Jackson sighed.

Yugyeom shook his head. “Nope, nothing.”

“You are shameless,” Jinyoung grinned patting Yugyeom on the back proudly.

“Don't encourage him,” Bambam whined. I have to go in with this wimp.”

“Who's the wimp? You screamed and ran just because I did.”

“Okay you guys, we need to get in there. Here I just made these,” Jaebeom said putting his pen away and holding out folded strips of paper.”

“What are they.”

“These determine the order of entry into the haunted house. So after each group goes in we wait for two minutes and send the next one in. Got it?”

Everyone one nodded their understanding.

“Okay so Yugyeom since you're on your own, you can pick first. Don't look until we all have our paper though.”

Yugyeom picked his out and then Bambam, Jinyoung and then Jaebeom let Youngjae pick theirs.

“Okay so go ahead and look,” Jaebeom instructed.

I'm first Yugyeom grinned.

“Oh god.” Jackson almost cried as he saw the smug look on Yugyeom's face.

“We're second, Bambam sighed

“We're so dead...” Jackson whined.

“We're third,” Jinyoung grinned as Mark.

“That means,” Jaebeom said looking at Youngjae's not so happy face and giving him a quick hug.

“We're last...” Youngjae sighed.

Jackson gave youngjae a hearty pat on the back. “Good luck getting scare points it's harder when you're last because everyone is already in.”

“Scare points? You keep saying that. What are scare points?” Youngjae finally asked his curiosity getting the better of him.

“Scare points are what we score if we manage to scare each other. This is just something we do for fun while in there. There is an actual prize that the haunted house staff give you if you're the first group to get out of the house,” Jackson informed him.

“So what do our scare points entitle us too?” 

“Whoever has the most by the time we are all out, is the winner, they then get to choose any of the losing groups and they have to do what the winning group asks for one day.”

“Ah and so why are there no other groups of people around?” Youngjae continued his questioning.

“They only book two to three groups in at a time for the hour and a half you have in there. We just happen to get in first today,” Jaebeom grinned.

“Makes sense then,” Youngjae had to agree. 

“Okay we should start, Yugyeom off you go.”

“See you losers, we all know who's going to win; again!!” Yugyeom bragged as he headed into the haunted house.

“Does he always win?”

“Usually he or Jinyoung, so, yeah.”

“Jacksons right then, we're doomed.” Youngjae sighed already the feeling the blow of his predestined, defeat hitting him hard.

Jaeboem laughed and rubbed his back. “Don't give up just yet. Anything could happen, right?”

Youngjae smiled and nodded, “Yeah I guess, that's true, but if you've never one won yet...” 

“Shh, defeatist talk is for the weak,” Jaebeom smirked placing his finger over Youngjae's mouth, silencing him.

Youngjae found himself laughing. If there's one thing he could count on Jaebeom for, it was that he could always make him laugh.


	11. Chapter 11

Yugyeom went in first followed by Mark and Jinyoung, then Jackson and Bambam after about ten minutes Jaebeom and Youngjae went to go into the haunted house when suddenly all they could here was Jackson, Mark and BamBam screaming, Jinyoung yelled yah loudly and then a lot of swearing ensued, most of it seemed to be aimed at Yugyeom from what Youngjae gathered.

“Are you okay, you already look pale?” Jaebeom grinned as Youngjae squeezed the living daylights out of Jaebeom's hand while paused at the front door of the haunted house. “we don't have to go in it's fine I don't mind taking the loss if this is really going to be too much for you,”

Youngjae took a deep breath in. “No, I'm going to do this, I can do this!” 

Jaebeom grinned as Youngjae bravely spoke the words but made no attempt to move forward. “You sure?”

“Drag me in...”

“Drag you in? Are you sure? I mean really sure? Because once we go in I am not bringing you out okay?”

Youngjae nodded his head vigorously and closed his eyes.

Jaebeom gave a small laugh and then opened the door to the haunted house and just as Youngjae asked dragged him inside.

“Are we in?” Youngjae said opening one eye and then the other.

“Yes, now, there are two ways we can go. But no doubt we'll end up running into either Yugyeom, Mark and Jinyoung or the other two no matter which way we go. Yugyeom has already scored at least four points, even though Jinyoung didn't really scream he still got a scare from Yugi so even yah, is counted if you scream when they get you.”

“So we need to try not to be scared and get out of here first to win right?”

“Yeah, the good thing is even though there is only two ways to go, the layout gets changed so you don't get the same escape route every time. Which is either an advantage or a disadvantage. Yugi is just really good at these games so, he's the one we really need to watch out for. Jinyoung is good too and like I said one of those two usually win, but if we work smart. We might be able to get a few good scares in even if we don't get out of here first. We need to try and target Jackson and Bam, besides you, they are the ones that scare easily. Mark scares but as you heard he makes less noise than the other two.”

Youngjae took a deep breath in and out. “Just don't let go of my hand.”

“I won't I promise,” Jaebeom said squeezing it tightly.

 

~*~

Jackson lay on the ground laughing as Bambam leaned over him and berated him. “Damnit Jackson you just had to go and walk straight into Yugyeom right as we finally had Mark and Jinyoung in our grasp.”

“At least they got a scare too!” Jackson said happily.

“Yeah but not by us and now Yugyeom already has four points.”

“But he got Jinyoung too, so that was worth it right?”

Bambam chuckled, “Yeah that was kind of funny, that's the first time he's actually got Jinyoung too so yeah it was kind of worth it to hear him swear like a trooper. Calm and cool Jinyoung usurped boy my boyfie. I'm kind of proud actually.” 

“Where's your hand?” Jackson asked as he reached up.

Bambam felt around, finally found Jackson's arm and helped him up. “ They've gone the three of them. Damn it and I didn't hear which way they went for you laughing so much!”

“Oh crap what if the three of them have teamed up?”

“Don't even joke about that Wang.”

“Shh, do you hear that?”

“What?”

“Damn it let's get out of here, we need to move otherwise we might end up...”

“AHHAHHHAHHHH,” Jackson screamed jumping around like an idiot as something touched his face. 

“Hi guys,” Jaebeom whispered.

“THE 2JAE TEAM... RUN YOU IDIOT!” Bambam yelled loudly as he took off fast dragging Jackson away still screaming like a baby.

Youngjae laughed hard as he pulled back the handkerchief he'd run across Jackson's head. He suddenly felt a lot braver than he had when they first came in.

“Nicely done, Youngjae.” Jaebeom grinned. 

Youngjae's laughter quietened as Jackson's screaming finally subsided and Bambam's berating the older young man could be heard from somewhere up ahead.

“So you got your first scare point. Well done.”

“Only four more to go to beat Yugyeom, or we can get out of here first and not get caught.”

“Well, we can only go forward now. Which way did those two go straight ahead or left?”

“I think they went straight,” Youngjae said listening for any sound he could from Jackson and Bambam.

“I can't hear anyone any more. They're all so, YAHHHHH, AISH” 

As Jaebeom yelled loudly due to the fright he had just been given, Youngjae dropped to the ground and lay there silently, he was scared but wasn't going to let anyone get the better of him until he got at least another scare in.

He could hear Jinyoung and Mark laughing and whispering as he felt Jaebeom drop to the ground and start laughing in front of him. Youngjae pulled back and lay down by the wall on his side so he was flat against it. 

“Where is that little sunshine otter?” Jinyoung whispered his arms flailing around the place trying to find him.

Without a word, Youngjae lunged a little to the left of Jinyoung's voice and then forwards managing to grab someone's leg and suddenly Mark squealed loudly, then as quickly as he had lunged up, Youngjae once again pulled back and hid flat against the wall on his side.

“Aish,” Jinyoung's voice was heard and then suddenly laughter from them both and two sets of feet running off down the way could be heard as the Markjin team took off.

Jaebeom finally stopped laughing, “Nice work there Youngjae, you even put me to shame then, never even screamed when I did and that's now two points for you.”

“This is actually kind of fun,” Youngjae said, his unseen smile beaming in the dark.

“Yeah until someone actually scares you,” Jaebeom reminded him.

“Ahh yeah, good point.”

“Anyway time to be a little more stealthy, we're getting int the heart of the house so now it's getting past all the things that the other teams don't do like the rooms with the other haunted stuff in. We have to go through there to get out.” 

“But how do we know if it's the house stuff or us?”

“That's why we whisper when we scare our own so they know to differentiate between the two.”

“Ah, I see. Makes sense. So where to now?”

“Let's still go straight, see if we can't catch up with...”

Jackson and Bambam's screaming up further ahead stopped them in their tracks and they heard Yugyeom's laughter ring out from up ahead.

“Er let's go left instead, Jaebeom suggested. 

“I'm not going to argue there.” Youngjae agreed as they both veered off to the left instead.

~*~

Yugyeom ran off laughing as he left Jackson and Bambam half screaming, half laughing back down the way. That was six points he had now and he knew he was well in the lead. He desperately wanted to get full scare points but hadn't come across the 2Jae team yet and they were the only two he didn't have under his belt.

Another half hour went by and no one seemed to have run into anyone again yet and he started to get suspicious. What if the Jackbam team and the Markjin team had teamed up.

Suddenly he heard Jackson and Bambam scream and Jinyoung and Mark laughing.

Nope, that definitely hadn't happened but at least he knew where those two teams were now. Still, he'd not heard or seen the other two since they'd gotten their last scare in with Mark.

This wouldn't do. 

Yugyeom had to find the 2Jae team. 

That was now his goal.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meh not happy with the last two chapters. I think my brain is on hiatus lol

Jaebeom held onto to Youngjae's hand tightly. 

Youngjae wondered how the two of them had managed to evade any of the wandering souls from either the haunted house or their group for the past half hour. The last they had heard was Jackson and Bambam once again being spooked by Mark and Jinyoung and had quickly changed direction once more.

Youngjae suddenly pulled Jaebeom backwards by the hand and the two of them stopped still. 

“What is it?” Jaebeom whispered extremely softly.

“Someone's coming this way,” Youngjae replied just as softly. 

“Quick then the floor against the wall just like you did earlier, right?” Jaebeom asked.

“Mhm,” Youngjae confirmed and the two of them crawled onto the floor with their backs against the wall and as quiet as a mouse. 

“Shhh damn it, Jackson, I swear I heard someone down here,”

Bambam was obviously annoyed with Jackson.

“I didn't hear a thing and my hearing is pretty good,” Jackson said in his defence as they shuffled right past the 2Jae team. 

As soon as the Jackbam team had walked past, Youngjae reached in front of him and tapped Jaebeom's leg. 

Both of the boys got up as quietly as they could and as the other team kept squabbling, both Youngjae and Jaebeom lurched forward and grabbed them, luckily, by the shoulders and as the Jackbam team filled the haunted house with yet even louder screams Jaebeom and Youngjae shot off back the way they'd come laughing momentarily before shoving their hands over their mouths and silencing themselves. 

From around the next corner, Yugyeom's unseen grin was wide. 

As Youngjae held onto Jaebeom's arm they rounded the corner quickly. Yugyeom who was flat against the wall was ecstatic as he reached out and grabbed someone by the arm, but it was Mark that cried out and then Jaebeom after him. 

Yugyeom ran off and started laughing he'd gotten Jaebeom and Mark which means Jinyoung was close by and he wasn't waiting around to get grabbed.

Youngjae finally screamed as Jinyoung wrapped his arms around him and held onto him laughing. 

Mark was laughing too and thenJaebeom started, suddenly the four of them were in hysterics. Youngjae placed his hands over Jinyoung's and caught his breath as he laughed his fright off. 

“Shhh, we still need to not get caught by Jackbam's team. Jinyoung said as he finally managed to calm everyone down. Yugyeom will be heading to the exit. He's won this one against us but if we get out of the house first we'll get the prize from the staff. However, the Maknae has gone the wrong way. We already know where the exit is,” Mark said in a whisper as he and Jinyoung linked hands. 

“Give me your hand Jaebeom,” Jinyoung said as he reached out towards the dark in front of him. “Youngjae have you got Jaebeom's?”

“Yeah, I have.” 

“Okay Mark will lead the way,” Jinyoung informed the other two. “ So everyone is as quiet as possible until we make it out.”

Silently the four of them hand in hand and trying not to giggle made their way towards the exit of the haunted house. 

A few seconds later Jackson and Bambam could be heard again but this time there was no Yugyeom laughing afterwards, which meant they had ventured furthered into the house and were now being scared by the house staff and special effects. 

There was still half an hour to go before their time ended as the four slowly made their way to the exit. 

Finally, Mark led them to the exit. He opened the door and let the other boys out first, before letting himself out.

Youngjae sighed with relief as he sat himself down n the ground and sighed. He looked up at Jaebeom shielding his eyes from the light. Having been so long in the dark it stung his eyes a little and he squinted.

“So what happens now?” Youngjae asked.

“You get a prize,” Jinyoung grinned.

“Me, why me?”

Mark smiled at him, “Technically, you were the first one out of the house, I opened the door and we let you out first. So congratulations.”

“Wow, you didn't have to do that, but thank you I really appreciate it!” 

“It also means that Yugyeom can't bully you,” Jinyoung smirked.

“Speaking of the devil,” Jaebeom grinned as Yugyyeom finally made it out of the house dragging Jackson and Bambam with him.

“Oh, so you didn't bother trying to get out first then?” Mark asked.

“I said I'd have to be the one to drag these two out because they'd get lost,” Yugyeom reminded him. “Which is why I went the other way earlier because these two, were heading deeper into the main area.”

“Oh, why don't we go in there?”

“We try to stay around the areas where there's less of the house staff, mainly because we want to get our own scares in first,” Yugyeom said as he let go of the other two finally.

“Oh, so you don't bother going in the whole way, but isn't that kind of the point of the haunted house?”

“Usually,” Yugyeom grinned, but it's not as much fun trying to avoid them, as it is each other.

“Fair enough,” Youngjae replied still not quite sure of the point of coming to the haunted was house after all except for just getting scare points. It really kind of seemed pointless.

“I'll take Youngjae to get his prize,” Jaebeom said as he dragged Youngjae away over to the kiosk. 

“We'll meet you at the car,” Jinyoung said grabbing Jackson and Bambam by the ear, dragging them away protesting.

~*~

Youngjae sat in the car fiddling about with the new MP3 player that he had gotten as the prize for being the first out of the haunted house.

He was rather pleased that this was the outcome of the rather odd thing they had just been a party to.

And now they were heading to the supermarket to grab snacks and drinks before heading back to Jaebeom's place.

Jaebeom pulled the car into the car park and they all jumped out of the car. Youngjae sat in the passenger seat still as Jaebeom wandered around to his side and opened the door for him.

“So how's your new toy?” 

“I'm looking forward to setting it up. I've never had one anything like this before. My mother, even though she's always held two jobs, has never been able to afford stuff like this and I've never asked her for anything that wasn't a necessity while growing up. My mother's worked hard all her life and I've never felt it appropriate to ask to be honest.

Jaebeom locked the car as Youngjae got out of it and put his Mp3 player into his pocket zipping it up.

“Why did your father leave?” Jaebeom asked then immediately regretted it. “I'm sorry. You don't have to answer that. I shouldn't have asked,” he mentally berated himself.

“If it's okay with you I'd rather not talk about it out in the open. When we get back to your house. I'll fill you in.” Youngjae smiled meekly up at him.

“It's okay if you don't want to. It really is none of my business.”

Youngjae quickly reached for Jaebeom's hand and squeezed it reassuringly before quickly letting go again and Jaebeom threw him an understanding smile.

Bambam and Yugyeom ran off ahead grabbing a trolley, followed by Jackson as they entered the store.

Mark and Jinyoung hung back with the other two and stayed with them. 

Suddenly Youngjae stopped in his tracks and his eyes rested an older man as he left the store. 

The man saw him staring and stopped too before quickly putting his head down and quickly walking off.

Youngjae's suddenly chased after him grabbing the mans arm and pulling him back around. 

“Youngjae, what are you doing stop it,” He said grabbing Youngjae and pulling his hand off the older man who was now staring at the ground, but not moving at all.

“WHY?” Youngjae growled angrily. 

Jaebeom Mark and Jinyoung all stood puzzled as Youngjae seemed determined to talk to the man in front of him.

Jaebeom suddenly realised what was going on as Youngjae angrily spat out the next few words.

“We needed you! I... needed you! Why did you walk out on us why?!”


	13. Chapter 13

Jaebeom grabbed Youngjae's hand and held it as the young man shook waiting for a response from the older Man.

The older man sighed and pulled out a card. “Come to this address. I'll tell you everything then.”

Jaebeom took the card as Youngjae just stared at the older man and Jaebeom realised now, that Youngjae knew nothing of why his father had left either.

“I'll bring him around to you.”

“And who are you?” The older man asked

“Im Jaebeom. I'm his close friend.” 

The older man nodded eyeing Jaebeom up and down and observing he and Youngjae's interactions and nodded. “Fair enough. When you bring him around come in with him. But the others no offence leave them behind.”

“Understood,” Jaebeom confirmed as the other man finally just nodded and left,

“Do you guys mind heading back to mine by yourselves?” Jaebeom asked. “I'm going to take him there now, get this over and done with.”

“No problem JB, I've got the spare key so we'll be fine. Just get Youngjae some answers. We'll see you when you get back,” Jinyoung smiled as he and Mark headed off to find the others.

Jaebeom turned to Youngjae still facing the way the older man had left and he grabbed Youngjae gently by the arm. “Youngjae, are you okay?”

Youngjae's breathing was a little heavy and it almost looked like he would cry. But if he wanted to he was holding off.

“Youngjae?”

“I'm okay. I never thought I'd see him again. I don't know why he left Jaebeom. He just left, that's all I would have said when we got back, to be honest.”

“Okay well, the others will make their way back to my place,” He held up the card. “We, are going here.”

Youngjae nodded and followed Jaebeom back to the car.

~*~

They arrived as Youngjae's father was unlocking his house and he stopped, waiting for them to catch up to him.

“This way, I want to introduce you to someone.”

Youngjae's father led them into the lounge and a slighter younger man stood up looking a little confused?

“Who are these people Seung Min?”

“This is my son, the one I told you about and this is his boyfriend?”

“Wait I'm not,” Jaebeom began advertently trying to protect Youngjae from the situation.

“Yes, you are you and you don't need to hide it from me. This is Hae Shin, my partner and lover for the past sixteen years. Youngjae I didn't want to leave but was made to leave. I'm bisexual, Youngjae and your mother didn't want me anywhere near you in case I turned you the same way, but here you are and you're gay right?”

Youngjae's mind raced. His mother had chased his father away. So after all these years he finally knew the reason and it explained why his mother was so fixated on him being gay.

“Why didn't you fight harder to stay, prove to her she was wrong?” Youngjae asked gritting his teeth.

“Because Your mother threatened to tell the authorities I liked men. She gave me no choice.”

“So you're saying she lied to me all these years then?”

“If she said anything else other than what I told you, then yes.”

“She said you left because you didn't care about us any more, that you ran off with another girl.”

“Does he look like a girl to you? And I never ran off with him. Your eomma found out by accident from a mutual friend who thought I'd told her, but it was too late to try and explain your eomma said she was repulsed. I never even had met a guy I'd liked to be honest. I was happy with your eomma. I was happy to be a husband to her and a father to you. In the end, she stopped letting me touch you, or talk to you even while I was in the house. I couldn't hold you or tell you I loved you. She started pushing me away more and more and then told me to leave. I met Hae Shin after I was kicked out, but before your mother and I got divorced. I was living on the streets because I left both of you everything Youngjae, because I wanted you, to at least have a good life.”

The shock on Youngjae's face was deep and he held tightly to Jaebeom's hand.

“I tried to contact her a little while ago but the house had been sold and I found out you'd moved. She never let me know. I was so depressed after your mother refused to let me see you even with supervision, so I tried to kill myself. Hae Shin found me and took me to the hospital. Then he took me in and looked after me and then we fell in love. By that time your eomma and I were already divorced.”

“She lied to me... all these years she lied to me.”

Jaebeom gently pulled Youngjae's shaking form into him tightly.

“I'm sorry Youngjae, I really wanted to contact you, to talk to you, to be a father to you, but she wouldn't let me. So now you know, and if you still hate and despise me then that's okay. None of this was your fault, none of it!! Your mother was ashamed of me because of what I was, even though I was madly in love with and married to her, it wasn't good enough.”

“I'll go make some hot drinks, Seung Min,” Hae Shin said gently as he got up from the couch. “Please, you two, sit down,” he said to Jaebeom and Youngjae.

“Thank you,” Jaebeom said politely as he gently led Youngjae to the couch and sat him down then sat next to him.

“Why did she lie to me, Jaebeom why?” Youngjae seemed crushed at the idea that his mother had lied to him about everything. 

His father had wanted to be a part of Youngjae's life but she had shut him out completely.

“Don't angry at her, son. She did it because she thought she was protecting you.”

“I was raped by two men, how is that protecting me, raped because she got mad at me for telling her I was gay. She sent me shopping, told me to get over it because as far as she was concerned I was going through a phase, then because two men thought I was cute and looked like a pretty girl they chased me and raped me. If it weren't for Jaebeom, it could have been worse, he protected me, not her! If I had of had my appa to come with me it would have been very different.” Youngjae was shaking more now.

Youngjae's father didn't know where to look at hearing this. “I'm sorry Youngjae I really am.”

“I grew up believing you hated me. Why didn't you just approach me on your own, if eomma wouldn't let you come to me at the house, why?”

“As I said I had no idea where she'd moved you too and I was afraid that even if I had found you that you wouldn't even want to talk to me.”

“Yeah well, you were wrong and had you tried you would have known that.” Youngjae sighed.

“I did try, but even her family wouldn't tell me. She blocked us all out not just me, but the rest of my family as well.

“Excuses all of it.” Youngjae snapped.

“Think about it Youngjae, it's not all his fault,” Jaebeom said gently.

Youngjae sighed and leaned into him. “I know, but Im just so angry I don't know who to be mad at right now.”

“How about you try to be a little more understanding on both sides. Your eomma lied to you because she felt she was protecting you, your appa, tried to find you, but no one would give him the help he wanted in contacting you.” Jaebeom said as he took into consideration everything he'd heard.

Youngjae sighed closed his eyes. 

“Here you go,” Hae Shin came back in and handed them their drinks. “If it helps Youngjae,” he said. “You're father never stopped trying to find you. In fact today he had gone to the store to ask if he could leave one of these in the window.” Hae Shin turned around and grabbed something off the table behind him handing it to Youngjae.

Youngjae looked at the piece of paper he had been handed and then up at his father.

“It was Hae Shin's idea. Although I had no idea I'd walk away from the store after leaving one there and see you. I was hoping the flyer would work, but as fate would have it, there you were.”

“That's why you didn't leave when you saw it was me grabbing you.”

“Of course I wouldn't leave. I never stopped thinking about you.” Youngjae's father walked over to a drawer and opening it reached inside pulling out a bundle of envelopes and walked back over to Youngjae handing them to him.

“What, what's this?” he asked as he looked at all the envelopes now in his hands each one had his name on. 

“Open them. I couldn't send them but I kept every single one just in case...”

Youngjae looked at Jaebeom who nodded his encouragement. “Go on. It can't hurt.”

Sighing Youngjae opened the first one. “It's a birthday card for my sixth birthday,” he said shocked looking at Jaebeom as he opened it. Inside was twenty thousand won. 

Youngjae looked shocked as he handed the money and the first card to Jaebeom and opened the second one. “Christmas card...” he opened that inside was fifty thousand won.

Looking up at his father Youngjae gave him a questioning look.

“I've not missed a birthday or Christmas, Youngjae. I know you'd always wanted a gaming console back then and we had planned to get you one that Christmas, but your eomma and I parted ways as you know, a few weeks earlier. You'll find money inside every card. Each year as you got older I put more money into the cards. I figured if we ever did have the chance to meet it would still allow you to get the one thing you had wanted the most back then. If it's changed then that's fine. I know money can't replace what we've lost, but I hoped you could see that I had thought of you every year without fail.”

Youngjae started to get somewhat emotional as he went through the cards reading the messages his father left in every one handing the money and each card to Jaebeom after he'd read them“You kept all these just in the hope you could give them to me one day...” 

“Yeah, I did, because, the one thing you need to know Youngjae, is that I never stopped loving you. Ever!”

Suddenly Youngjae burst into tear as he got out of his seat and threw his arms around his father.

“I've missed you so much appa!” he cried

“I know you have, Youngjae,” his father said as he also teared up, taking him in his arms. “I've really missed you too.”

Jaebeom felt his own tears well up as he watched the scene before him unfold. 

Youngjae had finally found his father.

With one trial over and done with and closure given, there was only one more to go.


	14. Chapter 14

Driving back towards Jaebeom's Youngjae thought about his father. All those years trying to find him and his mother not allowing it because of who his father was. 

As hard he tried not to be angry he couldn't help it and he turned to Jaebeom. “I want to move out of my eomma's house.”

“You what?” Jaebeom asked a little shocked.

“I said...”

“No, I get it, I heard, but why? Because of what happened with your father?”

Youngjae nodded. “I don't hate her, but she lied to me. She knew he was trying to find me and stopped him. That's not right even if she was, in her mind, trying to protect me. I can't help being angry at her and I don't want to stay there any more.”

“Are you really going to do this? Can't you just discuss it with her? I'll come with you if it helps?”

“Really?”

“Yes. I'd rather you talk things out with her first, get if off your chest, now that you and your father have reconnected.”

“And what if I still want to move out after, would you help me look for a nice cheap place?” Youngjae asked hopefully.

“Why would I do that?”

“Huh? Youngjae sounded shocked at the negative response, and he gave Jaebeom a questioning stare.

Jaebeom chuckled. “Why would I do that, when you could move in with me? We don't have to share a bed if you're not comfortable.”

“Really? I could?” Youngjae grinned.

“Sure.” Jaebeom smiled back at him. “I mean we have been dating for a while now. I can't see a reason why not. But let's talk to your eomma first. Okay?”

“Okay.” Youngjae agreed.

“Well let's go get this over with then,” Jaebeom said as he smiled at Youngjae and headed towards his place.

~*~

Jinyoung checked his watch. 

They'd been back at Jaebeom's for at least three hours, but there was still no sign of Jaebeom and Youngjae yet.

Sending a text to Jaebeom, Jinyoung sighed and started organising with the others what they wanted to order in.

“Should we wait for the other two first?” Jackson asked.

“Nope, I know what Jaebeom and Youngjae like to eat.” Jinyoung informed them, “I'm just going to go ahead and order for around seven pm delivery. Pretty sure they'll definitely be back by then.” 

Yugyeom walked up to Jinyoung and handed him the menu for the takeaway. “We getting the usual?”

Jinyoung took the menu from him.“Unless you want something different tonight, then yeah.” 

“Maybe add some chicken feet. I know Youngjae really likes them.” Yugyeom suggested.

Jinyoung nodded.“Sure, we can do that. It will be a nice surprise when he gets back.” 

“So, Jinyoung, you said that guy that Youngjae went off at, it was his appa?” Mark questioned as Jinyoung set through the food order via his phone.

“Yeah. Pretty sure,” Jinyoung began, “The guy handed them a card and asked them to come to the address on the card and that he'd explain everything. Then we got sent on our way.” 

“Well you really couldn't expect an invite Jinyoung,” Mark said, “I think Jaebeom was asked because of the way Youngjae was hanging onto him.”

Jinyoung glanced at his phone as his message was returned by Jaebeom.

“That Jaebeom?” Bambam queried.

“Yeah,” Jinyoung replied casually. “He said they've just arrived at Youngjae's place and Youngjae's going to have a talk with his mother. Apparently there's a few things that need sorting out between them, so they might be another hour or two. Which works, because by then the food will be on its way here.”

“So in the meant time, we do what?” Jackson asked leaning back into the couch.

“What we always do, play games so you can lose and we get to punish you,” Jinyoung smirked.

“One day you will lose,” Jackson said with a grin

Jinyoung turned and winked cheekily at him. “One day, Wang. But today is not the day.”

~*~

Youngjae stood at the door of his house. He called out as he turned the handle to go in. “Eomma it's just us.” 

They walked in as his mother came out of the kitchen looking a little nervous. “Youngjae ah, Jaebeomshi. I thought you were all at your place for the weekend.” 

Jaebeom noticed she was rather unnerved by something as she quickly glanced back at the lounge.

“I needed to talk to you about something,” Youngjae said as he headed towards the lounge, Jaebeom following him behind.

Youngjae glanced into the kitchen and grinned as he walked by. “Wow, that's a lot of food eomma. Are you doing another charity cooking session?” 

“Youngjae ah, wait!” His mother grabbed his arm and stopped him abruptly. Just before he rounded the corner of the lounge.

“Eomma? Are you okay?”

“Youngjae I need to talk to you too, but now's not the time,” she whispered.

Seconds later a man appeared in the lounge room doorway and gave them an inquisitive look. “I didn't know we were expecting visitors tonight love.”

Youngjae looked from the man to his mother and his mouth dropped open a little. 

Jaebeom realised immediately what the cool greeting they had received when they had walked in had been about and he grabbed Youngjae by the hand, dragging him towards his bedroom. “We just came to grab some extra things for Youngjae, sorry to bother you.”

Youngjae was stunned as he glared back at his mother until Jaebeom had him shut in his room with him.

Youngjae's face was red with anger. He pulled his hand from Jaebeom's and headed back towards the door. Jaebeom grabbed him and sat him down. “Don't, Youngjae, leave it for now,” he said softly.

“I'm done Jaebeom. I want to move in with you.” Youngjae said the hurt sounding through in his voice.

“I know and I want you to move in, but not like this. I want this to be sorted between you before you end up bitter towards your eomma.”

“She doesn't need to hide it from me, Jaebeom. I'm not a child. He called her love! They've obviously been seeing each other for a while. She was cooking for him! Did you see all that food as we went by the kitchen? She never even cooked like that for my father even before things went bad.”

Youngjae stared hard at his bedroom door.

“Look at me Youngjae,” Jaebeom began softly as he kneeled down in front of him and held his face so that Youngjae was looking directly at him. “I know this is a shock, and I know you're mad, but let it go just for tonight.”

“Why? Why should I Jaebeom? 

“Because you're better than that. “

“She threw my father out Jaebeom. She lied to him and me, and now this man is in my house, in my lounge room, with my eomma, calling her love?”

“Yes, your eomma may have gone about things the wrong way, but you need to remember, that despite everything she loved you and raised you the best she knew how. And you can't hate her for loving someone else now. That's not fair.”

“Neither was what she did to us.”

Jaebeom sighed and sat down next to him. “Look, just wait and see what she has to say to you. She may have been waiting for the right moment.” He rubbed Youngjae's arm gently and smiled softly at him.” And even if she has been seeing him for a while, has she ever brought him here when you're here?”

“No,” Youngjae grunted.

“So why do you think that is?”

“I don't know why she does what she does any more.” Youngjae sighed his frustrations out.

“Because, you angry little otter,” Jaebeom flicked Youngjae's hair out of his face, “she respected you and your feelings enough not to bring him home while you were here.”

“That's all good and well, but now I have even more stuff I have to deal with. I have the court case coming up soon, my father to discuss with her and now this, this guy,” Youngjae said his hand motioning to his door.

“So we'll do it together if it makes you feel better, and we'll just come back tomorrow and talk to your eomma. Okay?”

“Ugh I'd rather not I'm too mad right now, let's just get me some extra clothes and get out of here,” Youngjae sighed as he got up and started grabbing clothes from his drawers. “JB, can I stay at yours for another couple of nights?”

Jaebeom sighed. He really wasn't keen on letting Youngjae stay until he talked things out with his mother. “I tell you what, you can stay with me for the next few days,”

“Awesome...”

“providing we come back tomorrow and talk to her,” Jaebeom continued, placing a proviso on the deal.

“Not so awesome,” Youngjae complained.

“Would you rather end up with a family like mine?”

Youngjae shook his head. 

“Your choice. You can come back here tomorrow night and stay at home until next weekend, or we can come back tomorrow, talk to your eomma and you can stay for a few extra days with me.”

“Fine. We can come back tomorrow and I'll talk to her then,” Youngjae said resigning himself to Jaebeom's ultimatum.

“I'll be right there with you. I promise. Okay?”

Youngjae nodded a sour look over his face. “Okay.”

“Now get some clothes and come on. The others have been waiting for ages for us. God knows what they're doing to Jackson right now,” he grinned.

Youngjae finally laughed. “No idea but I'll bet his butt is gonna be sore if Jinyoung has had anything to do with it."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the posting infrequency lately my laptop is playing up badly. Also haven't sent out the prizes from my last competitition yet. Will be doing it the next week or so.

Jackson opened the door before Jaebeom had even put his key into the lock.

“About time you losers got back,” Jackson said with a grin, before seeing Youngjae’s sullen face. “Wow, what happened? You look like you could bust a blood vessel or something.”

“I’m fine I, I just need to go rest,” YoungJae sighed as he pushed past Jackson and headed for Jaebeom’s room.

“Okay, that’s not like our YoungJae,” Jackson said his face filled with worry. “He didn’t have a relapse, did he? He’s not wanting to go and...”

“No, you idiot,” Jaebeom sighed as Jackson shut the door after them.

“Well, what happened then?” Jackson asked, “He looks like shit.”

“It’s up to YoungJae to say what happened if he wants to say something, not me,” Jaebeom replied as they walked into the lounge area, all eyes turning from Jaebeom’s room, to the man himself.

“Like I just said to Jackson you lot,” he said knowing exactly what the inquisitive little minds wanted, “It’s up to YoungJae to say what happened, if he wants to say something, not me.”

Jinyoung watched as Jaebeom put his bag down and glanced back at his room. He seemed a little bit on edge himself.

“We went ahead and ordered,” Jinyoung informed him. “I didn’t think you would mind since I know what you guys eat.”

Jaebeom shook his head and threw Jinyoung a reassuring smile. “Much appreciated, I’m actually really hungry since we missed lunch.” 

Jinyoung “watched Jaebeom glancing over at his room again and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. “You go grab food, I’ll go talk to YoungJae. Okay?”

“Thanks, Jinyoung. Just be aware though, Youngjae’s had a bit of a shock twice today and he’s definitely not taking some of it too well.”

“I’m guessing that guy he accosted this morning was his father then?” Jinyoung surmised.

“As I said, it’s for him to tell you, not me,” Jaebeom reiterated with a tired look on his face.

Jinyoung gave his friend a smile and a hearty pat on the back, “All good, you go get food, I’ll hopefully be out with YoungJae soon. Yugyeom picked chicken feet for him as a bit of a surprise for him, he was worried about him all day. Well, to be honest, we all were.”

Jaebeom nodded looking at his room again, sighing before heading off to the others, then Jinyoung knocked on Jaebeom’s bedroom door. “YoungJae its Jinyoung, you mind if I come in?”

A muffled answer of some description replied and Jinyoung discerned it as a positive response. He opened the door and walked in. 

Youngjae ’s head was under Jaebeom’s pillows and Jinyoung headed to the bed and sat down beside him. “Jaebeom wanted to come in, but he looked a bit exhausted so I made him eat. He said you had a bit of a rough day. Do you want to talk about it? Sometimes talking to a person not invested in the emotional side of things can help.” 

YoungJae sighed from under the pillows and then slowly emerged from them. He lay over on his back and looked up at Jinyoung. “My appa never hated me, he tried to find me so many times but kept hitting dead ends thanks to my shitty family. My eomma lied to me and now she has a new man in her life, and she failed to tell me that either.” 

“Wow, that is quite a lot for you to have to take in in one day isn’t it?” Jinyoung sympathised. “I can understand why that would upset you.”

YoungJae puked out his wallet, opening it and pulling out a large wad of money. “You see all this, there’s like almost 10000000 won here. Every year, for my birthday and Christmas, after my eomma kicked him out, he put money away in cards and kept them in case one day we ever got the chance to see each other again and every year the amount went up according to my age.” 

“Holy shit. Get Jaebeom to take you to the bank tomorrow, don’t be carrying that around okay?”

“Jaebeom already said we’ll go tomorrow,” YoungJae confirmed. “I don’t want to be carrying it. I’m kind of in shock. And it turns out my appa has a boyfriend too, he’s been helping my appa to try and find me. Today after we met I found out that he’d encouraged my appa to never give up on finding me.”

Jinyoung noted that YoungJae spoke with great enthusiasm about his father and his boyfriend, but had sounded so hurt and annoyed when talking about his mother, which he felt was understandable. 

“So your appa likes both sexes and I’m guessing your eomma found out and the rest I can figure out from there,” Jinyoung summarised 

“You got it,” YoungJae told him. “But I’m so mad at my eomma now. I don’t even want to talk to her, Jaebeom says I shouldn’t be that mad and that I should talk to her, because she was thinking about me and that she was doing her best and just protecting me, but she threatened him, Jinyoung, threatened to call the police and get him arrested if he didn’t leave. That was thinking of me was it, my appa was like my best friend. How could she do that?”

Jinyoung sat quietly before responding. A lot of people don’t understand that two people of the same sex can love each other. She may have felt hurt and betrayed by his choice of sexuality.” 

“My Appa really loved her Jinyoung, but she changed after she found out. My appa always stuck with her. He was never unfaithful, and he worked hard to support us both. He never changed Jinyoung, he never once let his sexuality get in the way of his family ever. She betrayed him, she changed, made his life a misery then threw him out. And the only reason was that he liked men. He told me he actually broke up with a guy he was dating for her. And he was still a virgin when he met my eomma.”

Jinyoung gave him an understanding nod. “I get it. He arranged his life to be compatible with hers. That’s quite commendable to be honest.” He thought for a moment before answering. “But, tell me YoungJae, weren’t you angry because your eomma just stopped communicating with him completely?”

“Yeah, because of her I never got to see him again, until today, but that was purely coincidental, she had told me appa hated me and that he never wanted to see me again, then I find out the truth and not only that I go home to talk to her about things, because Jaebeom said I should,” 

Jinyoung noted the look of hurt on YoungJae’s face and continued to let him just ramble.

“And then, then, I find out she’s been seeing this guy and she’d failed to tell me that either. He even had the nerve to call her ‘love’ in front of me, and the biggest insult of all was that she hadn’t even told him about me. He was like, ‘oh I didn’t know were we expecting visitors tonight, love’ goddamn. visitor my ass, I’m her fucking son, Jinyoung her son.”

“So, you feel that your eomma has broken your trust, lied to you and insulted you right? Jinyoung began, choosing his next words intentionally. “You’re going to ignore her completely. Never talk to her again right?”

YoungJae nodded, “Yeah that’s just how angry I am at her. I really don’t want to go back again, but Jaebeom is making me go back with him tomorrow.”

“Well good, I’m glad he is,” Jinyoung said with a gentle smile.

YoungJae gave him the sourest look. “ Good? You’re glad he is? Did you not just hear any of what I just told you?”

Jinyoung pulled YoungJae up into sitting position, then folded his arms and looked right into his eyes. “Yes, I heard, every word of it and this is what I got out of it. My eomma was angry she felt betrayed, lied to and insulted by my father and she did the same thing to me. So, I’m just going to go ahead and do the same thing to her, because that’s going to make it all better right?”

YoungJae sat stunned at Jinyoung’s blunt yet totally honest assessment of the situation.

“YoungJae, I’m going to ask you a few things and I want you to answer me honestly. Firstly when did you first realise you liked men?”

“When I was about 15.”

“And when did you tell your eomma?” Jinyoung asked.

“About 9 months ago, the same day ‘that’ happened.” YoungJae shuddered a little thinking about it.

“So you hid it from her until then?” 

“Of course I did, I was, I was scared that if anyone found out, that it might cause trouble for my eomma. I was only 15 and I was too young and too scrawny to protect either of us back then.”

Jinyoung clapped his hands together, causing YoungJae to jump in fright. “That’s the big one I was waiting for. Now I want you to think about what you just said, take how you felt, and then look at it from you’re eomma’s perspective and what she might have been feeling at the time she found out about your father.”

YoungJae sat there for a few minutes seriously trying to figure out what Jinyoung was trying to get at. He screwed his face up and thought and thought, then suddenly, it clicked and he looked up at Jinyoung with a look of realisation on his face. 

“Eomma was scared, she was scared like me, that if anyone found out about appa, we’d get the backlash too. She had to make a choice and she made the one she thought best.”

“You’re thinking about it properly now, I can see it,” Jinyoung smiled, 

“Yeah because it really does make sense. What if their friend that told my eomma, had decided to tell other people. Eomma wasn’t just protecting me she was also trying to protect him too, because she still loved him.” 

Jinyoung listened as YoungJae sprouted everything out at him. 

“That’s why she threatened him, told him she didn’t want him near me, because she knew if it got all too serious, like if some people attacked our house, it could have ended badly and I’m betting she told the family he ran off with a girl, on purpose, so that they wouldn’t know any different.” 

Jinyoung looked at YoungJae with an amused grin on his face. “Okay, So tomorrow you need to confirm if what you think you just said is true with your eomma. Got it?”

YoungJae nodded.

“Good,” Jinyoung said giving YoungJae a pat on his knee. “Now, in regards to this guy your eomma is seeing, let her explain. I’m guessing she never told you about him because she didn’t want you to think she was trying to replace your appa. As to why she never told him about you, you like men, my guess is that she’s afraid of the same thing.”

YoungJae sighed. “I never thought of that.”

“YoungJae, you never thought about any of this until I prodded you to see things through your eomma’s eyes. So do yourself a favour, just talk it all out when you go with Jaebeom tomorrow. Okay?”

YoungJae threw his arms around his peer and hugged him. “Thank you Jinyoung, for making me see what a selfish person I was being.”

Jingyoung smiled at YoungJae as he hugged him back. “My pleasure. Now get your backside off this bed and go be with your man, he was really worried about you.”

YoungJae nodded and got up from the bed, following Jinyoung out of Jaebeom’s room.

Jaebeom saw YoungJae from out of the corner of his eye and quickly stood. He was more than happy to see a smile on the younger’s face and he smiled too, the worry dropping from his own.

Jinyoung threw Jaebeom a wink and a pat on the arm as he walked over to Mark and sat down beside him. 

YoungJae wrapped his arms tightly around Jaebeom and sighed. “I love you JB, I just wanted you to know that.”

Jaebeom found himself blushing as his arms wrapped around YoungJae.

“So what brought this on?” Jaebeom chucked.

YoungJae grinned at Jinyoung over Jaebeom’s shoulder. “Someone made me see the light, that’s all.”

Jaebeom broke the embrace and taking Youngjae’s hand, led him over to where he was seated and sat pulling YoungJae into his lap. 

Yugyeom grinned and handed YoungJae his food and happily exclaimed, “Chicken feet!”

YoungJae took it graciously. “Thanks, guys, you really are the best!”

 

 

.


	16. Chapter 16

Mark and Jinyoung hit the sack first, followed by Yugyeom and Jackson, who had crashed on the mattresses on the floor. Bambam followed not long after but had crashed on the couch, which left Jaebeom and Youngjae the only two awake. 

They were in the middle of a game when YoungJae yawned and lay his head on Jaebeom’s shoulder. 

“Tired huh?” Jaebeom said gently moving the hair off Youngjae’s face.

“I feel so exhausted, JB,” YoungJae sighed his arm looping around Jaebeom’s.

“Well, you did have quite the eventful day, “ Jaebeom reminded him as he turned off the game and hugged the younger man to him. You probably just need a good night’s sleep.”

Jaebeom stood and helped YoungJae up from the floor and they both stared at the couch. 

“It seems your ‘bed’ has been claimed,” Jaebeom nodded at the sleeping Yugyeom. “Mark and Jinyoung are in the spare room, so that leaves, either the mattresses with those sleeping beauties or you can share my bed again. I don’t want to get up in the early hours of the morning and find you sleeping by my door. That really looked uncomfortable the last time you did that.”

YoungJae smiled as remembered Jaebeom dragging him into his bedroom. “May I sleep in with you? To be honest, it was nice being that close to you. I just didn’t want to ask because I know you like your space too and I didn’t want to wear out my welcome.”

Jaebeom chuckled. “That would be impossible, I like you way too much.”

YoungJae smiled as Jaebeom nodded toward his room. 

“You go ahead,” Jaebeom told him, “I’ll turn the lights off out here.”

YoungJae reached the room and turned the light on, then turned in the doorway. “Jaebeomie, if it isn’t too much trouble, could you bring me a bottle of water in please, I like to have one by the side of the bed?”

From the kitchen he heard a laugh and then watched as Jaebeom emerged with two bottles of water, turning the lights out as he left. “‘Jaebeomie’s’ already ahead of you on the water,” he handed a blushing YoungJae a bottle as he walked past him and into his room. “

“Sorry, it just came out,” YoungJae said a little shyly.

Jaebeom shut his door, set his water down and walked back over to YoungJae who was now standing empty handed by the bed, looking a little embarrassed. 

“You didn’t need to apologise, I actually thought it was cute and since I don’t do cute, someone has to be cute, so it might as well be you,” he said taking the young man in his arms.

YoungJae felt his cheeks burning as Jaebeom looked at him softly and let out a content sigh. 

“You know, YoungJae, even if you do sort things out with your eomma, you would still be welcome to move in with me,” he grinned as he felt YoungJae’s arms tighten their hold. 

“YoungJae, look at me for a second will you?” Jaebeom requested.

“Why?” 

Jaebeom could hear the tiny giggle, the one that YoungJae only did when was tired and around him when they were alone.

“Don’t you ‘why’ me, you little brat, you know ‘why’,” Jaebeom retorted playfully.

YoungJae smiled up at Jaebeom bashfully as Jaebeom gave him a loving look and slowly leant in. He closed his eyes as Jaebeom’s lips touched his own and sighed into the kiss. He loved the way Jaebeom was always so kind and gentle with him and Jaebeom never asked anything of him that made him feel uncomfortable. 

YoungJae broke the kiss first and touched Jaebeom’s cheek, looking into his eyes.

“What?” Jaebeom smiled, a questioning look on his face. He could see YoungJae was thinking deeply by the way he was looking at him.”

“What’s it like,” Youngjae said softly and nervously.

“What’s what like?” Jaebeom asked, not quite understanding a suddenly cryptic YoungJae. 

“To be made love too?”

Jaebeom was stunned, to say the least, at hearing those words fall so easily out of Youngjae’s mouth. “Um, well, to be honest, I wouldn’t actually know, I’ve always been top,” he said letting go of YoungJae and scratching the back of his head nervously.

“Top?” YoungJae asked curiously

Jaebeom took Youngjae’s hand and sat down with him on the end of the bed. 

“To be top just means that you’re the one who makes love to the other person,” Jaebeom explained, his face turning a little red. He’d not envisioned himself having a discussion like this with YoungJae so soon.

“What’s the other person called then?” 

“They usually get called the bottom, but, it all depends on what they like best, everyone is different and some people like to switch but it doesn’t mean the bottom is any less important than the top. Respect goes both ways.” Jaebeom laughed at Youngjae’s face. “You looked confused.”

“It sounds confusing,” YoungJae said still trying to work things out.

“Once you know what you are though, it’s easy to understand,” Jaebeom gave YoungJae a reassuring smile. “But, I’m a little curious, what made you ask this all, of a sudden?”

“I, just, I er,” his boldness suddenly left him and he went back to his shy usual self. 

Jaebeom sensed there was more to it than just this. “YoungJae, it’s okay, you can’t say anything to me that will shock me.”

“I want you to make love to me,” YoungJae spat out the words like they were hot.

Jaebeom took a step back a look of shock over his face

“You what?” 

Was all he could say.


	17. Chapter 17

YoungJae looked a little upset when he saw Jaebeom’s reaction to his request. This was a big step for him to even think of taking and Jaebeom’s face made him feel a little anxious.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, or make you uncomfortable,” YoungJae began his voice wavering a little as he got up to leave. “I’ll go sleep out there. It’s probably for the...” he’d barely stood when he was pulled back down onto the bed, Jaebeom holding him tightly.

“Don’t be sorry, you didn’t upset me,” Jaebeom reassured him, clearly shaken by Youngjae’s request. “And the only reason I felt a little uncomfortable was that I guess I wasn’t quite ready for that to come from you and I was too afraid to respond, because I wasn’t sure how to, and I’m not sure you’re ready for that yet. It’s a huge step to take. You’ve come so far and I’m so proud of you, but it might be too soon for you to deal with. It’s only been 9 months. I, I don’t want you to be traumatised all over again.”

YoungJae noted the concern in Jaebeom’s voice. It was very real and YoungJae nodded that he understood.

“Would it ease your mind if I promised to tell you the second I feel uncomfortable,” YoungJae offered. “I mean, we know I’m clean because the tests finally came back and of course I’m a little scared and nervous, but I think if it’s you, then I’ll be okay.”

Jaebeom rubbed his forehead and started chewing his bottom lip.

“If you don’t want to then...”

No, no, it’s not that at all, that isn’t the problem. I know you can handle the oral fine, you’ve gotten that far, but this, YoungJae, it’s your first time since the rape I’m just scared it’s... “

“I know, JB, I know it hurts, I remember that part quite well before I passed out. But that was forced on me. This time I’m asking someone I love and trust to...”

Jaebeom silenced YoungJae with a kiss, gave him a gentle smile and placed his hand over his cheek. “ Why is it that you’re so much braver than me right now?”

Youngjae’s hand went up to meet Jaebeom’s over his cheek and he smiled back. “Maybe it’s because someone went to the effort of following this messed up guy onto the road one day and saved his life, made him realise that life has so much more meaning when someone takes the time to show how much they care.”

Jaebeom’s heart swelled with pride and joy and he placed his hand over Youngjae’s as YoungJae uninhibitedly spoke his mind.

“You did all that for me. And your friends, they accepted me as is, baggage and all. You all helped me work through the trauma, but it was you who gave me love in a way I never expected. It was something I guess I never imagined living to see, to be honest.”

Jaebeom smiled at him. “You deserve love just as much as anyone does YoungJae, but you really don’t need to do this. My love costs nothing you know.”

I know that Jaebeom, but I bet if you looked into the eyes of the one who asked you to put your trust in them and see the love there, wouldn't you want to know what it’s like to be with that person intimately? Wouldn’t you want them to make you theirs heart, mind, body and soul?

Jaebeom sighed and pulled YoungJae in for a hug. There was no way he was going to argue with that logic, because he wanted to make love to YoungJae. “Promise me that you’ll tell me to stop if you can’t deal with it. I won’t do this unless you give me your absolute word. And I mean that, Choi YoungJae.”

“I will, Jaebeom. I promise,” YoungJae reassured him. “I just really want to try this. I don’t want to be afraid of any kind of intimacy I share with you.”

Jaebeom smiled, he couldn’t help it. YoungJae really had stepped up and out of his shell. 

This was something that Youngjae, on his own, had decided for himself. No one had forced or coerced him.

This was his choice.

Jaebeom felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest as he looked into Youngjae’s eyes. “Are you sure?” He asked softly as he reconfirmed with YoungJae one final time.

“I love and trust you. Of course, I’m sure,” YoungJae said confidently as he smiled up at Jaebeom.

“God, why am I so nervous?” Jaebeom chuckled as he fumbled trying to undo Youngjae’s shirt.

YoungJae laughed and gave Jaebeom a hand to undo the buttons, “Anyone would think that this was your first time,” he sat up so Jaebeom could remove it completely.

“This is my first time. My first time with you, you monkey,” Jaebeom lay down beside him and threw Youngjae’s shirt onto the floor. “Of course I’m nervous. I mean, I’ve had two other boyfriends and I really liked them, but you’re someone I hold extremely dear to my heart, because, I love you, YoungJae. I never felt about them the way I do you.”

Jaebeom, found himself blushing a little and YoungJae kissed him.

“I think I’m very lucky, to have someone like you by my side, Jaebeom, and the others too. I really have no idea where I’d be right now if it wasn’t for you. If I hadn’t met you, I’m sure I wouldn’t be here now and then today never would have happened. I have you and our six crazy friends, I reconnected with my father and as much as I’m mad at my eomma, I’m glad I have her too. And hopefully tomorrow my eomma’s explanation is as Jinyoung believes.”

Jaebeom sighed contentedly, like the proud boyfriend he was, as he flicked the hair that had fallen over Youngjae’s face to the side. “Look at you, you’ve grown so much more than I could have imagined the past 9 months. I really am so proud of you YoungJae. Even if you hadn’t requested this right now, I’d still be so very proud of you, so even if you need to stop, I'm not going to think anything less of you.”

"I know." YoungJae smiled fondly at him as he held back his tears. “You’ve always made me feel safe and loved even before we got together as a couple. You all sacrificed your time and efforts on me when all I could do was believe I was so tainted, but you loved me to the point where I’ve started to believe different. You make me feel like I’m worth the love you give me and for that, I am so very grateful.” He reached over touching Jaebeom’s face lovingly. “Make love to me, Jaebeom. I want this for both of us.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it time for the real 2Jae stuff to happen. Youngjae has finally come into his own.

Jaebeom moved in closer, his lips taking Youngjae’s in a searing kiss, the younger man gasping a little as he felt Jaebeom’s hand slip down between his legs gently rubbing his hand over the bulge in Youngjae’s jeans.

YoungJae was used to this part, he’d always enjoyed the pleasure that Jaebeom would relish upon him whenever they had indulged in oral sex. It made him feel good every time Jaebeom brought him to his end.

This time though, he was a little more excited and a little more scared. This time it would lead to the intimacy he had been so terrified of entertaining, but he also knew that it wouldn’t be like that day.

This was what he wanted from Jaebeom, not something he had been unwillingly forced into by a stranger he never knew, not something he hadn’t asked for.

Shaking the thoughts back out of his head Youngjae concentrated on Jaebeom’s hands undoing his jeans and gently pulling them off.

YoungJae was used to this now too, because they had progressed from just pants undone and cock pulled out, down to completely naked. It was something that Jaebeom had eased him into, getting him used to being naked and comfortable, slowly but surely. 

YoungJae had been quite grateful for that.

Closing his eyes as Jaebeom caressed his body, showering him with soft kisses down over his chest, Youngjae giggled and Jaebeom looked up at him with a questioning look.

“It was tickling me,” Youngjae grinned, as he gave Jaebeom an apologetic look.

Jaebeom laughed. “How am I supposed to take this seriously, if you're like this?”

“Just keep going. I’ll be fine,” Youngjae chuckled.

Jaebeom smiled, shaking his head and continuing where he left off and Youngjae did he best to keep himself grounded as Jaebeom fluttered more kisses down towards his crotch.

Youngjae found himself gasping with pleasure seconds later when Jaebeom took his cock firmly in his hand and began to tug on it gently, before taking it into his mouth.

As Jaebeom began to suck Youngjae slowly up and down his shaft andYoungjae found himself gripping the sheets tightly. It seemed that Jaebeom was really going to town on him tonight. 

Youngjae moaned loudly and as his hips writhed under the suction of his lover’s mouth he could feel the need to release rising and he began to emit deeper and more frequent panting noises as his orgasm built to a crescendo.

“Jaebeom I, I’m coming I’m...” the words trailed off as YoungJae began to peak.

Jaebeom, hearing Youngjae warn him of the event, sucked even harder, bringing his lips tightly from the base of Youngjae’s throbbing shaft to the tip, sending the young man completely over the edge.

Youngjae felt his cock spasm and pulsate inside the warmth of Jaebeom’s mouth and he quietly whimpered as Jaebeom finished him completely, his body shuddering with the waves of sensitivity that followed as Jaebeom sucked him clean.

He lay there panting as Jaebeom crawled up to him and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “You’re so damn cute when you come,” he said as he smiled at Youngjae.

Youngjae blushed and his arms went over his face. “Jaebeom,” he whined in protest.

“What, it’s true. Do I need to get mirrors put on the roof to prove it to you?” Jaebeom said almost too seriously for Youngjae’s liking.

“Don’t you dare!” Youngjae protested vehemently.

Jaebeom raised an eyebrow. “Oh you want to go there you do?”

“Jaebeomie,” Youngjae whined a little more playfully this time

“Alright, alright, I’m just kidding,” he chuckled as Youngjae pouted at him.

“Anyway, I need to make sure I have everything we need for the next step,” Jaebeom said as he jumped up from the bed and headed into his on-suite.

“What on earth are you doing?” Youngjae asked as he heard cupboards and drawers opening and shutting before hearing Jaebeom mutter the words ‘found it’ to himself.

It was still a minute or more before a naked and nervous looking Jaebeom stepped back into the bedroom, a towel over his shoulder, a tube of something in one hand and a packet of wet wipes in the other, “This,” he said holding the tube up.

“What is that?” Youngjae asked curiously as Jaebeom placed the items down on his bedside table.

Jaebeom handed Youngjae the tube.

“Oh lube,” Youngjae began, “Mark says this is what you need when you have sex. He told me it was important because if you’re not lubed up it can be even more painful.” He saw Jaebeom’s odd stare and thought he’d better explain.

“So, I was telling Mark how I felt about having sex but didn’t know what to expect, he just explained about lube and positions for me, so I could understand better,” Youngjae informed him.

“Ahh, so what you’re saying is that Mark knew you wanted to have sex with me before I did?” Jaebeom gave him a subtle glare.

Youngjae smirked. 

Jaebeom felt a little out of sorts about the fact that Youngjae had spoken to Mark about it first.

“Well I didn’t exactly tell him that I was planning to have sex with you,” Youngjae explained, “but the way he was grinning at me, I’d say he put two and two together. He did slap me on the back and say ‘go get ‘em tiger’.”

“Not sure if I should be offended or amused,” Jaebeom chuckled.

“Neither! I was being very serious about this,” Youngjae said a little indignantly.

“I’m sorry, Youngjae,” Jaebeom said snuggling up to him on the bed, “I was teasing you, and, I know I shouldn’t because I know this is a big deal for you, but you’re so damn cute and sometimes I just get carried away.”

Youngjae gave him a soft smile. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t be so sensitive either. I’m just really nervous right now.”

“Are you really sure you want to go through with this?” Jaebeom asked again. “It’s okay if you want to change your mind. There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you have, and you know I’ll understand.”

Sighing a deep breath out, Youngjae shook his head. “I’m okay, I honestly want to try.”

“Okay, but you’re going to have to try and relax. If you don’t, that can make it hurt more too.” Jaebeom warned him as he moved back down the bed.

Youngjae nodded. “I know and I'll try.”

Jaebeom took the lid off the lube, “Condom?”

Youngjae shook his head. “I want it to be natural with you, Mark says he and Jinyoung like to do it that way because they're both clean and if feels so much more natural. we know I'm clean because of the test results and I'm guessing you are too.”

“I used condoms all the time in my previous relationship. So absolutely,” Jaebeom agreed

“Then I definitely want this to be natural. That’s if you’re okay with it?” Youngjae asked him shifting as Jaebeom tapped his backside and placed the towel under him.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Jaebeom smiled at him as he adjusted Youngjae’s legs so that he could easily access the area and then squeezed some lube out from the tube onto his fingers.

Youngjae watched nervously as Jaebeom put the lid back on the lube, then placed it back on the bedside table.

“Two things,” Jaebeom began looking directly into Youngjae’s eyes, “this may be a little cold and you may feel a little strange at first because I need to prepare you.”

Youngjae nodded his reply and Jaebeom gently placed a finger at Youngjae’s back entrance.

Youngjae immediately shied away, his buttocks automatically clenching shut

“Youngjae?”

“I’m fine. Go ahead,” the determination resounding loudly in Youngjae’s voice

“Take a deep breath in and then let it out. Try and relax,” Jaebeom encouraged him gently.

Youngjae complied as he closed his eyes.

Jaebeom let a small sigh out and then gently tried again.

Again Youngjae’s buttock’s clenched, but this time Jaebeom gently continued, his finger finally entering Youngjae’s back passage.

Youngjae gasped his eyes shooting open and his buttocks clenched harder.

“Youngjae, look at me,” Jaebeom instructed, “Keep your eyes open. I think having them closed is making you anxious.”

Youngjae nodded in silence and kept his gaze on Jaebeom.

Slowly and gently Jaebeom began to move his finger about inside Youngjae’s tight passage and a few minutes later he began to insert a second without too much resistance and then a third and Youngjae tensed up Immediately.

Glancing over at Youngjae, Jaebeom noticed his eyes were closed again and he had his bottom lip tightly in his teeth and he had been silent the whole time. Not one peep had come out of his mouth and Jaebeom began to think that this really wasn’t a good idea. He could tell that Youngjae’s anxiety had spiked.

“I think we should stop, “Jaebeom suggested softly, ceasing his preparation. “You’re way too anxious and I don’t want you having a panic attack.”

Youngjae opened his eyes again, the disappointment showing clearly through the overlying anxiety. “I can do this. I’m ready, I know I am, I’m just...”

“You might think you’re ready, but your body’s reaction says different,” Jaebeom said gently.

“Please, Jaebeom,” Youngjae almost begged him, “I’m just really scared, but I want to do this with you, really I do. If I don’t start trying to get over what happened now, then, when will I ever be ready?”

Jaebeom sighed.

Again Youngjae was right, but at the same time, Jaebeom was also scared and anxious and he was worried about the consequences if he did decide to continue. He really didn’t want to be responsible for scarring Youngjae further.

“I promised you I’d say something if It was too much. So please, please don’t give up on me now,” Youngjae pleaded.

“I know you can’t help it, and I understand why, but I don’t want to be the one responsible for sending you spiralling backwards in your progress,” Jaebeom sighed

“You won’t. Yes, I’m scared, yes it’s daunting, yes I keep tensing up, but just keep going, don’t stop. I want this!” Youngjae insisted.

Jaebeom sighed and looked him in the eyes. “Alright, you win. I’m not going to stop unless you specifically ask me to! Do you understand?”

YoungJae nodded, “Yes, I do.”

“And I have your permission?” Jaebeom asked

“Yes, of course,” Youngjae confirmed.

Jaebeom squeezed out more lube onto his fingers and looked at Youngjae quite seriously. “You need to focus on me. Don’t close your eyes, and try to give me some distinction between you getting anxious and you enjoying it. If you can manage that much, it’s a start. Ready?”

“Yeah,” Youngjae said smiling at Jaebeom a little nervously.

Jaebeom gently began to massage the area around Youngjae’s back passage before easing his fingers gently inside of him again.

This time Youngjae didn’t flinch, instead, a slight moan escaped his lips as Jaebeom gently massaged his anal cavity.

As Jaebeom continued stretching and preparing Youngjae, he noted that Youngjae had begun to thrust his hips downwards as if trying to force Jaebeom’s fingers deeper inside of him and Jaebeom complied.

Youngjae gave a loud gasp as Jaebeom’s fingers found his sweet spot and suddenly grabbed his hand.

Jaebeom gave him a curious look.

“Please, Jaebeom,” 

Youngjae looked at him so seriously that it made Jaebeom even more nervous.

“Don’t make me wait, let’s do this, please before I lose my nerve.”

“Okay, if you're really sure?” Jaebeom had to know that Youngjae was truly ready.

“Yes,” Youngjae replied solemnly.

Sighing a large amount of nervous air out, Jaebeom grabbed the lube and covered his erection completely. He gave YoungJae a reassuring smile as he put it back down and then positioned himself between the younger man’s legs. “I want you to relax, just like you did then and look at me as I do this, okay?”

Youngjae nodded and took a deep breath in as he felt Jaebeom’s cock press against his back passage. His eyes fixated on Jaebeom’s as instructed, but he began to shake as Jaebeom gently began to push inside of him.

Youngjae grabbed Jaebeom’s arms tightly as he felt the pressure of Jaebeom’s cock at his back entrance and he looked up into Jaebeom’s eyes.

Jaebeom looked back into Youngjae’s eyes and held his gaze as he pushed himself a little further in.

Youngjae bit his lip and his face contorted as he tried hard not to let his fear overtake him.

Jaebeom stopped as he saw the look on Youngjae’s face and gave him a concerned look.

YoungJae gripped his arm and shook his head, “Don’t stop, please, just keep going. The more you stop like this the more I lose my nerve.”

“It’s hurting you too much, emotionally as well as physically. I can see it in your face,” Jaebeom said his own face wracked with guilt and concern.

“I have to push through it, Jaebeom, I can't let this beat me,” Youngjae said softly.

Jaebeom slowly began to move again pushing himself inside as far as he could go.

Youngjae’s hand flew over his face as Jaebeom’s cock was finally completely engulfed inside of him.

Jaebeom tried to move Youngjae’s arm away from his face but Youngjae tried harder to keep it there.

“Youngjae? Youngjae, please look at me,” Jaebeom began softly, “I know you’re crying. Please, you don’t have to hide it. It’s okay to be afraid and scared and nervous, but remember I love you. Just say the word and I’ll stop if that’s what you want. You promised if it was too much you’d let me know.”

Suddenly Youngjae moved his arm and Jaebeom watched his tears fall.

“I don’t want you to stop. If you love me, you’ll make love to me," Youngjae's voice was serious, yet sincere. "Don’t let me come this far and not allow me to go through with this.” He wrapped his arms around Jaebeom and pulled him down close. “Please, JB! Love me like you mean it.”

Jaebeom sighed for the umpteenth time tonight, smiling softly at him, then kissing him gently as he began to move, slowly making love to the young man underneath him.

Youngjae’s tears slowed as he began to get accustomed to the sensation of Jaebeom’s cock massaging the inside of his anal walls and a completely new feeling washed over him.

Jaebeom was sure a few minutes later he heard something akin to a moan of pleasure escape from Youngjae’s lips and he couldn't help but smile to himself. this was the first time since they'd began this venture that Jaebeom had felt confident that Youngjae might actually be able to do this. He sat upright a little thrusting his hips a little faster.

Youngjae felt Jaebeom’s hand wrap around his cock and another whole new feeling hit him as the feeling of his cock being tugged and pulled on by Jaebeom while feeling him moving inside of him began to make him whimper.

Suddenly Youngjae cried out, feeling the abrupt change in Jaebeom's movements as Jaebeom, began to pick up his pace. 

Both of them were breathing much more heavily now, and Youngjae looked up into Jaebeom’s face. 

Jaebeom smiled sweetly at him and adjusting himself he leaned forward and kissed him.

“Jaebeom, I feel so hot, I feel like I’m going to explode. JB, JB, I’m...” Youngjae gripped Jaebeom’s sides, for reasons he didn't quite yet understand his own hips started to thrust up to meet his lover's and he began to shudder under Jaebeom’s relentless assault over his senses as his cock shuddered and spasmed while Jaebeom’s hand brought him over the edge.

Youngjae’s loud cry of orgasmic satisfaction set Jaebeom off and he too tipped over the point of no return.

Youngjae felt Jaebeom thrusting wildly into him, grunting loudly as his own orgasm hit him.

“Youngjae, I’m coming,” Jaebeom let him know, his voice not quite as quiet as he wanted it to be.

Youngjae held tightly onto Jaebeom as he his orgasm reached its peak and Jaebeom’s wild thrusts finally slowed to a stop, an exhausted Jaebeom collapsing on top of Youngjae.

Youngjae quietly lay there trying to figure out what the hell had just happened to him and suddenly he started crying again.

Jaebeom quickly pulled out, pulling Youngjae up into a tight embrace.

“Oh god Youngjae... I’m so sorry! Are you okay? I hurt you didn’t I? I knew this was a bad idea I knew we shouldn't ha...”

He was suddenly stopped mid-word by a pair of lips taking his in a long and passionate kiss.

When their lips parted Jaebeom look bewildered.

YoungJae was smiling softly at him through his tears. 

Jaebeom couldn’t help but smile back in the same way. “I’m so proud of you.” He felt himself tear up a little. “I really didn’t think you were anywhere near ready, but you proved me wrong. I was willing to wait for a lot longer, you know that, don’t you?”

YoungJae reached over and touched Jaebeom’s cheek gently with his hand. “I know you would have waited an eternity if that’s what it took for me to be ready and that’s why I wanted this so much. You kept your promise. You proved me to that I’m not tainted. You gave me love when I thought I’d never have it. You gave me hope when I had none. You made me whole again when I was broken and tonight you took away my fears and insecurities when I thought they’d eat me alive the most.”

“I’m so happy you feel this way. I was really scared,” Jaebeom replied honestly as he kissed him.

“Jaebeom,” Youngjae began as he watched Jaebeom clean up their mess, “tomorrow I’ll tell my eomma everything, from how I feel about what happened with my appa, to how I feel about you. I’m not going to hide from myself or her any more.”

'I’ll be right by your side when you do.” Jaebeom smiled as he lay down beside Youngjae and hugged him to him.

“Thank you Jaebeom, for being by my side and helping me through all of this, Youngjae yawned sleepily, “I had no idea lovemaking could be so exhausting and I wasn’t the one doing all the work.” He sighed happily as he glanced over at Jaebeom as he turned off his lamp. “Night JB. I love you.” Youngjae said as he snuggled into him.

“Goodnight Youngjae,” Jaebeom replied contentedly, kissing him on the forehead, “I love you too.”


	19. Chapter 19

Mark woke the next morning and realised that Jinyoung had already gotten up. Crawling out of bed himself, he grabbed his dressing gown and headed out to the kitchen where he found his lover preparing breakfast with the help of Yugyeom and Jackson.

Mark looked at their faces and chuckled. It looked like he and Jinyoung weren't the only ones kept awake last night.

Leaning in Mark gave Jinyoung a quick peck on the cheek, “We should be happy for them, not mad that they kept us awake. This was a big step for Youngjae you know?”

Jinyoung looked at Mark with a sleepy attempt at a glare and failing miserably, “Glad you're all smiles and sunshine, the rest of us feel like death warmed up.”

“So go back to bed I'll sort this out and call you all when it's ready," Mark smiled at them.

“Good idea,” Jackson said dragging Yugyeom out of the kitchen by his hand.

“Are you sure? I mean you didn't have much more sleep than the rest of us.” Jinyoung asked, "I don't mind staying out here and helping you.”

“Go, now, bed,” Mark said kissing Jinyoung then pushing him out of the kitchen.

Jinyoung stopped protesting and headed back to their room. He knew better than anyone that once Mark made up his mind that was it.

Watching to make sure Jinyoung, Jackson and Yugyeom had gone to bed again, Mark smiled and headed back into the kitchen. He chuckled as he perused the kitchen bench. The other three had been so tired that they'd managed to do nothing but get the cooking utensils and rice out from the cupboards.

As Mark set about sorting the rest of the breakfast he decided he would do something special. Checking through Jaebeom's cupboards again, he was actually surprised to find what he needed and once he'd got the main breakfast well on its way, he began to start on what he'd decided to do.

~*~

Youngjae stirred, rolled over and opened his eyes. There he found Jaebeom staring at him with a smile. Suddenly remembering what happened last night he blushed and rolled back over.

Jaebeom rolled Youngjae back and chuckled a little. Youngjae had covered his face with arms and seemed to be giggling.

“What's with the shy act,” Jaebeom said lightly tapping his backside. You were the one who started this last night. I thought we were going to sleep after the first time, but who decided that they couldn't sleep and wanted to do it again? And you were louder. I'm going to get all sorts of questions, or more probably, knives thrown at me once I step out there. I should make you get up and go out first.” Jaebeom smacked his backside a little harder this time.

More giggling. “You weren't that quiet either the second time around,” Youngjae reminded Jaebeom as he pulled his arm away from one eye.

"I was still a lot quieter than you." Jaebeom gently grabbed his arm, pulled Youngjae upright into a sitting position and hugged him, before taking his lips in a long passionate kiss. 

Youngjae sighed into it letting himself be swept up in the moment of things. He loved Jaebeom dearly and quite happily allowed himself to be charmed by this handsome man in front of him. He'd had no regrets about being intimate with him either.

Breaking the kiss Jaebeom smiled at him. “Are you ready to face your eomma today?”

Youngjae took a deep breath in and sighed out any nervous energy that, that sentence brought to him. “Yes, I am, but not until after breakfast. I'm really hungry,” he said as his stomach made gurgling noises. “I don't want to do it on an empty stomach, might not come across as being serious if my stomach is constantly doing this”

“You go grab your shower first. I'll go out, check on who's making breakfast. Not gonna lie to them either, they'll pretty much know anyway.” Jaebeom said with a grin as Youngjae dragged himself out of the bed and headed into Jaebeom's ensuite

“I'm not worried about it,” Youngjae's voice echoed into the bedroom from the shower. “They're gonna give us a hard time anyway right?” 

Jaebeom heard the water turn on and just smiled, then throwing his boxer shorts and a t-shirt on he opened the bedroom door and headed out. He could hear the sound of someone in the kitchen and the smell of the food was inviting. And was that the smell of baked bread. He hadn't used his bred cooker in months.

Wandering over to the kitchen he saw Jackson, Yugi and Bam sprawled out over the two mattresses.

Since it was Jackson, Yugyeom and Jinyoung's turn to organise breakfast, that left only Jinyoung. But it was unusual for Jinyoung to let those two get out of helping.

“Oh, Mark it's you. Where's Jinyoung?” Jaebeom enquired as he walked into the kitchen.

“Gone back to bed. I got up to the walking dead this morning, for reasons I probably don't even have to spell out.” Mark said with a wide grin.

“Ah, yeah, sorry about that. Youngjae liked it a bit more than I thought he would. Didn't think he'd want it twice right off the bat, but he surprises me more and more every day. Thanks, by the way,” Jaebeom said a little embarrassed.

“What for?” Mark asked with a puzzled look.

“Forgiving Youngjae the advice he needed. It really meant a lot to him. Me too," Jaebeom said gratefully.

“Did he instigate it?” Mark asked curiously.

“Yeah, he kind of floored me, especially when he asked me to show him. I really wasn't expecting that.” Jaebeom rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, his face red.

“Why he came to me I don't know,” Mark told Jaebeom. “He just asked if I had some time to talk and I said yes, next thing you know all these questions were pouring out. I had to slow him down at one stage, I just couldn't keep up with his curiosity. Then when I finally realised it was because he wanted to do it with you, I may have encouraged him.”

“Yeah, he said you did. He's such a wonderful guy, I seriously adore him.” Jaebeom said with a smile.

“Youngjae pretty much feels the same way about you. The determination to go through this with you while he was talking to me was intense. The fact he took it on board and had the courage to go through with it after nine months is amazing. I think you made your point, to him. Pretty sure he believes it now, that he's not tainted, that nothing that happened was his fault.”

“I think so, he said it last night. I was so scared I'd hurt him at first, but he reassured me I hadn't, then said how he felt. It was so awesome to hear him say positive things about himself.” 

Mark smiled. Jaebeom's voice came across so proud of his younger lover. It was nice to see him smile this much too.

Mark had worried about Jaebeom since his brother's death, they all had, but it seemed that Youngjae really had given Jaebeom a reason to smile again. 

“So, when's the court date?” Mark asked tentatively.

“Three days from now, and today we're heading back to his eomma's place. He's going to sort things out with her next.”

Mark looked surprised, “Wow, it seems our Youngjae really is coming into his own. ”

Jaebeom nodded and for the better.” He peered behind Mark, “So you made bread? Smells so good!”

“Yeah thought I'd surprise everybody. And, since it was a pretty big night for Youngjae. I also made this.” 

Mark stepped aside and Jaebeom laughed. “I've never known you to cook much at all, then Youngjae loses his virginity and you make fresh bread and cake. Impressive to say the least. Jinyoung's a lucky guy to have you.”

“I'd tell you what else he thinks I'm good at, but, pretty sure you'll end up embarrassed,” Mark said with a wink

“Pretty sure I don't need to know then,” Jaebeom laughed in reply. 

“Fine by me, I'll just leave it up to your imagination shall I?” Mark smirked.

“I'm just going to go see if Youngjae's finished in the shower,” Jaebeom said with a laugh and a shake of his head, “so you can keep those thoughts and images to yourself,” he said with a smile as he left.

Mark chuckled as he went back to finishing the breakfast.

That was definitely enough revenge for now.


	20. Chapter 20

Youngjae hadn't quite finished in the shower when Jaebeom came back into the bedroom. He made the bed, then grabbed his clothes out for the day, and once Youngjae had finished up he got into the shower himself.

Youngjae dried himself, got dressed and headed out into the lounge. As the door opened the delicious smell of fresh bread and cake wafted into him.

"Hey, Youngjae," Mark said as he came out of the kitchen and placed some of the food he cooked onto the table.

"Morning Mark, did you want a hand?" Youngjae asked him.

"Yeah, sure, that would be great, thanks," Mark said in reply.

Youngjae followed him into the kitchen and Mark turned to face him. "So," he began, "how'd it go. You guys were definitely noisy that's for sure." He gave Youngjae a hearty slap on the back.

Youngjae blushed his response somewhat quiet. "It was good."

"Just good, I thought you were trying to break the bed at one stage or maybe it was the wall?" Mark nudged him in the ribs with his elbow.

"it was great, Jaebeom was so kind and thoughtful and boy it was so good, well for me it was good, even though I have never done it with anyone before, well not because I wanted too," Youngjae's voice sank low as he added the words quickly.

"It's okay. I get what you mean. No need to explain," Mark said gently rubbing Youngjae's arm.

"Well, it was a bit daunting. I was pretty anxious. Jaebeom wanted to stop a few times he was worried about me, but once he started making love to me and I got used to it a bit, I enjoyed it, Of course, it was still a little painful. The second time around I though really enjoyed it a lot more. Jaebeom was so wild, that he had me," Youngjae blushed and Mark laughed. "Well you guys obviously heard it, Jaebeom mentioned it as I came out of the shower. He said that everyone was so dead tired because we kept them awake. Sorry, Mark, I know we kept you up too."

Mark gave him a smile and handed him some plates, "Just take these out and you're forgiven." 

"Deal," Youngjae said happily taking them from Mark. "How come you cooked bread? And cake, you made cake."

"Well, I figured we should celebrate. This was a hell of a step for you and we may be tired, and these guys may be a little on the grumpy side when they first get up, but, we're also proud of you because you really have come a long way. It's not going to take away what happened, it won't stop the nightmares or the fact you'll find it hard to go out at night on your own, but at least you know you have us to count on."

Youngjae put his plates on the table and watched as Mark added the rest before hugging him and kissing him on the cheek.

"What was that for?" Mark asked a little surprised.

"Thank you, for letting me talk to you about stuff, and for being so nice about us keeping you awake. And for making cake," Youngjae added gratefully.

"Your welcome," Mark replied as he slapped Youngjae on the backside playfully, "now go grab me plates and utensils from the kitchen."

Youngjae giggled as he walked back into the kitchen to comply with Mark's request. He could hear Mark rousing the others and their groans of protest as he did so. 

Feeling a little guilty, Youngjae decided he'd buy the guys dinner tonight. It was the least he could do after keeping them all awake.

~*~

Jinyoung was the last to stumble out of bed and back into the lounge. Looking over Youngjae waggled his finger at them. "Congratulations, you're no longer a virgin. However," he continued, waggling his finger at Jaebeom, who screwed up his face like he knew he was going to get a huge lecture," the next time you two want to have mad crazy sex like that, you might want to, A, keep it down and B, move that damn bed away from the wall." 

The other guys laughed and Jackson leaned into Youngjae with a grin that made him cringe. He knew what was coming, there was no way Jackson would let this go. 

"How does it feel not being the only virgin here any more?" Jackson asked poking Youngjae in the ribs with his finger

"The same as it was when he was the only virgin, normal," Jaebeom said slapping Jackson's backside hard, making Jackson yelp and rub furiously where Jaebeom had slapped him, 

"Jackson, you're an idiot," Jinyoung laughed giving Jaebeom a high five, " pretty sure Youngjae didn't care." 

Youngjae nodded in agreement, quite happily laughing at Jackson's lament whilst snuggling up to Jaebeom. 

"Well, that's one hurdle over, just today with your eomma, and then the court case to get through, right Youngjae?" Anyone could see that Jaebeom was the proudest boyfriend in the room.

"I'm nervous about seeing my eomma, but I'm terrified about the court case," Youngjae replied honestly.

"We'll all be there for you at the court case, Youngjae," Jinyoung said reassuringly, "but your eomma, you're the only one who can deal with that."

Yugyeom yawned. He was bored with all the idle chatter, very hungry and still very tired and he gave a loud sigh, "Can we eat now? I wanna sleep more after you two head out."

"Me too," Bambam said in agreeance, "that way at least we know you won't be trying to break down the walls with the bed."

Mark laughed and handed out the plates. 

There never was a dull moment with this lot: that was for sure.

~*~

With breakfast finished with and the teasing from the others finally over and done with, Jaebeom and Youngjae headed out for his mother's place. 

Jaebeom noted how quiet Youngjae was as they drove there and he wondered if he was going to be okay. 

“So, what are you thinking? You're really quiet,” Jaebeom ventured trying to get Youngjae to speak.

Taking a deep breath in and letting it all the way out, Youngjae turned to him and smiled. “I'm fine, just going to go in there and say what I have to say. There's no plan other than that.”

“Maybe that's a good thing then. It gets all too drawn out if you plan everything you say, and it can sound insincere sometimes too,” Jaebeom said smiling over at him.

“Yeah, it can. I'm nervous though,” Youngjae replied honestly, “what if her new man is there and he dislikes the fact I'm me.”

"Then it's his loss, he doesn't get to know the kind and caring person you are, and if he doesn't like it you can just move in with me.” Jaebum offered.

“Can I move in even if he does?” Youngjae asked excitedly.

Jaebeom chuckled in amusement, “Sure, why not. I think I can handle you sleeping in my bed all the time. I mean, you do it two nights a week anyway, I don't think five more's going to hurt.”

“YES!!” Youngjae fist pumped the air and almost hugged Jaebeom to distraction.

“Hey, driving here, hug later." Jaebeom threw him a mock glare. 

“Ah, sorry,” Youngjae apologised, “I'm just so excited.”

“Keep that excitement for later then,” Jaebeom laughed.

“Why? Are you going to move the bed away from the wall?” Youngjae raised his eyebrows.

“Now you're just being cheeky,” Jaebeom said nudging him with his elbow and grinning, “but maybe,” he added with a wink smiling as Youngjae guffawed at his playfulness.

“Well, you'd better get ready, we're here,” Jaebeom said nodding towards the driveway of Youngjae's mother's place.

Youngjae sighed as he undid his belt and got out of the car, waiting for Jaebeom to lock up.

Jaebeom held his hand out, “Come on we're going in like this.”

“Are you sure? What if...”

Jaebeom shut him up with a quick kiss, “We'll deal with it when we have to. I'm not afraid of loving you the way I do.”

Youngjae nodded and took Jaebeom's hand firmly in his. They walked up to the front door and taking a deep breath in Youngjae exhaled, then knocked and waited.

It was a few moments before the door opened and Youngjae's mother answered the door.

“Why are you knocking? This is your house too Choi Young...” It was then she noticed how hard her son was holding Jaebeom's hand and she sighed, “Come in both of you. I guess we all have things to discuss.”

Youngjae turned to face Jaebeom who gave him a reassuring smile as they headed into the house.

The smell of kimchee wafted through the place and Youngjae peeked into the kitchen, “Eomma, you haven't made fresh kimchee for a while,” he smiled as he sniffed the air. “I always loved your homemade kimchee it's the best.”

“It has been a while, hasn't it?” She said as she led them into the lounge room.

“Way too long,” Youngjae said smiling widely at her as they sat down. 

A few seconds went by, the awkward silence lingering.

“Mrs Choi,” Jaebeom began a few more seconds later, breaking the silence, “Youngjae and I came here to talk to you about a few things. But I'll let him do the talking. This is mainly for his benefit, not mine.”

Youngjae avoided his mother's gaze as he felt her staring at him and Jaebeom nudged him, “Go on you need to do this.”

“Youngjae ah, don't be afraid of being honest with me, I will listen to what you have to say first,” his mother said softly as she reached over and touched his hand that was holding Jaebeom's.

“I'm afraid because I feel like you might hate me because of who I am.”

“Youngjae, I could never hate you, no matter what!” His mother replied earnestly

Then why did you hate my father for being who he was, I know you lied to me about him didn't you?” Youngjae asked finally finding his voice.

His mother sat there in silence.

“I met him, eomma, by accident. He told me everything, he tried so hard to find me, he even kept all my birthday and Christmas money for me every year, in case we did meet. I know his side ofthe story, so, please just be honest with me and tell me yours. Okay?”

His mother nodded, “Yes, I did lie to you, and Ilied to him but I had to.”

“Why, why did you have to? Why did you stop him from seeing me? He was still my father and he loved you, he loved us.” Youngjae's voice was calm and steady.

“Someone found out. But I didn't mean for it to happen it was an accident, we were arguing and some of our mutual friends came by. I was yelling at him about it all and it escalated from there. I had to kick him out. I had to protect you.”

“From him?”

“No, Youngjae, I loved him dearly, I really did, but in order to protect you from the backlash I was getting for allowing him to stay, I had to kick him out. They threatened to take you from me if I didn't.”

“Who's they?”

“Your grandparents, both sides, they said they wouldn't let me keep you if I stayed with him,” his mother said with tears In her eyes.

“And that's why you kicked him out?” Youngjae said sighing.

“I loved you and I loved your father, but losing you was more than I could bear. They gave me a choice, Youngjae, I chose you, but I regretted every day of my life after that, for letting them rule me in that way. Everything I said to you about him and to him was to protect you.”

“Do they know about me? Do they know I like men too?” Youngjae asked gently

“No, I'm not going to tell them. I haven't told my boyfriend either, but I think it might be better for you if...”

“...If I move out,” Youngjae sighed, “I already figured you'd say something like that.”

“It's not because I don't love you, it's just better for both of us that way. I'm not willing to take away your happiness a second time, but I can'' afford to compromise mine either. And besides I know how much you two care for each other.”

“What? But how did you know?” Youngjae asked a little shocked that she had figured it out. 

“I'm your eomma, how could I not know. It wasn't hard to tell you and Jaebeom were together, even before you came here holding hands like that,” she said nodding with a soft smile. “I made a big mistake with your father, I'm not willing to make the same mistakes again. I just feel that moving out is the safest option for you right now. I hope you can understand.” She turned to face Jaebeom who had kept out of the whole thing, “You must think I'm an awful eomma, Jaebeomshi?”

Jaebeom shook his head, “It's not your fault everything is so backward that we have antiquated laws like this. Loving who you love shouldn't be a crime, you protecting your son is admirable and there's nothing wrong with keeping yourself safe a happy either. Right Youngjae,” he said, squeezing Youngjae's hand reassuringly.

“Yeah, Jaebeom's right. I just wish you'd been honest with me sooner, that's all,” Youngjae said smiling at his mother softly. “I'll pack my things up now if that's okay,” he said as he gave Jaebeom a pat on the leg and got up.

Grabbing his hand his mother stopped him, “Let's have some lunch together first if that's alright with both of you?” She asked them. “I'd like to get to know Jaebeom better.”

“I'd love to, does it involve your homemade kimchi I've heard first hand that it's the best.” Jaebeom smiled looking over at an excitable Youngjae.

“Can you make fresh kimchi stew please eomma? Jaebeom loves that,” Youngjae asked politely.

“I'm sure I can manage that,” Youngjae's mother said with a sincere smile.

“Then it's a deal!” Youngjae grinned enthusiastically from ear to ear as he dragged them both off into the kitchen for lunch.


	21. Chapter 21

Youngjae packed the last of his things into the back of Jaebeom's car.

His mother stood, looking a little teary as she waited by the front door with Jaebeom. She was torn having to ask her son to leave but knew it was for the best for him as well as for Jaebeom and herself.

“Jaebeomshi, please take care of my son. He deserves to be loved by someone who can look after him. I can't do that anymore.”

Jaebeom smiled gently at her. He could tell that she was very heartbroken, but she deserved happiness too. So much had already been taken away from both she and Youngjae “I'll take care of him. I promise.”

The sound of the car doors broke their train of thought and Youngjae wandered over to them. “Well that's the last of it,” he said with a forced smile.

Jaebeom glanced from Youngjae to his mother and walked away slowly. “I'll be in the car waiting until your done.”

“Mm.” Was Youngjae's quiet response.

“Youngjae ahh, you know I love you, don't you?” It was a question rather than a statement. 

Youngjae took his mother's small hand in his and sighed. “You wouldn't be letting me go if you didn't, it's what you did for appa, because you loved him and I know that now. I can tell him if you like, so he knows why you did it.”

“No, leave it Youngjae, it's no good bringing up the past no matter why I did it.”

“But he thinks you hated him and you didn't.”

“Some things, Youngjae, are best left for a reason. He's happy now, I'm happy for him and that's what's important.”

“But, eomma you loved him for so long, you must have been miserable.”

“Of course I was. I let him go because I had to, not because I wanted to. It was my choice, therefore, my consequence to live with. I'm just sorry they affected you. You lived without a father for way too long, but you have him back now.” She placed a hand over his cheek and he raised his hand to touch hers. “Don't let this opportunity to reconnect with him pass you by. Let sleeping dogs lie. We had our time and we were blessed with you. That's enough for both of us and I know your father would agree with that wholeheartedly.”

“Eomma, I.”

“Youngjae ahh you don't need to say anything, I see it in your eyes and I love you too, but it's time., Jaebeom's waiting for you. Go to him, he loves you so very much. Love him just as much and never be afraid of who you are. I understand everything so much clearer about these things now thanks to Jaebeom, you are one lucky young man.”

“I'll see you again though won't I?”

“Of course you will you silly child. This isn't goodbye, it's just us both growing up and doing different things. I'd be quite angry if you didn't keep in touch.” His mother said drawing him into an embrace. “I'll be at the courthouse tomorrow to support you, so I'll see you there anyway. Now go on, off you go.”

Youngjae pulled away from his mother gently and smiled. “Thank you for understanding how I feel.” He kissed her on the cheek 

“Thank you for paying me the same respect. I love you, Choi Youngjae.” She smiled the tears falling down over her cheeks.

“I love you too, take care of yourself.” He said walking slowly backwards.

“I will and you be good to Jaebeom,” She told him as he turned and headed towards the car

“I promise!” He grinned as he climbed into the car, Jaebeom following his lead.

Youngjae watched as his mother walked back into the house and sighed, it seemed a little bittersweet, but at least it was sorted now.

“You alright?” Jaebeom asked placing his hand over Youngjae's on his lap.

“Mmm, I'll be fine,” Youngjae said as he grasped Jaebeom's tightly.

“Let's get you home,” Jaebeom gave his hand a squeeze, he could see Youngjae wasn't as 'alright' as he'd said. “tomorrow's going to be just as hard and you need rest.”

Starting up the car, Jaebeom pulled out of the driveway and headed home.

~*~ 

Bambam lay sprawled out on the couch minding his own business when Jackson jumped on him. 

“What the...” he yelped, as he was grabbed in a headlock and his hair ruffled into oblivion.

“Do you suppose Youngjae's okay?” 

“I don't know, I'm not him,” Bambam said pushing him off. “I know you're worried about him, we all are.”

“Bambams right,” Mark said from the floor in front of the table. “We're all are, we'll just have to wait and see how he is when he gets back.”

Jackson sighed and Jinyoung went over and rubbed his back. “Jackson, he'll be okay, because he has us. Let's just love and support him, he's going to need it just as much as ever, with today and tomorrow.”

“Ahh yeah, the court case. I'll bet he's not looking forward to that. I know I wouldn't be,” Mark sighed.

The sound of a car pulling up in the driveway sent them scattering back into their respective places. 

Not long after the door was opened and the two of them walked in. The room was silent and Youngjae could feel the reason for the silence.

“I'm fine, you guys.”

Suddenly the five of them were up on their feet, surrounding him, holding and hugging him. Youngjae gave off what Jaebeom thought was a laugh at first and he shook his head smiling, but then he realised he was wrong, and as he heard Youngjae sobbing, he walked over and tapped Jinyoung on the shoulder.

Jinyoung moved back and let Jaebeom in and once he saw that Jaebeom had a firm hold of Youngjae he rejoined the small group and closed in the gap.

Youngjae sobbed freely as his friends surrounded him. It was the first time in a long time that he'd felt like he was 'home'.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erm, this was supposed to be the last chapter, but it didn't work out that way lol. so one more to go.

It was almost half an hour later before the boys managed to settle Youngjae down.  Jaebeom had dragged him over to the couch and lay down with him and stroking his hair softly, causing him to relax and fall asleep, not long after he'd drifted off too. Mark and Jinyoung were in the middle of cooking dinner and the others had gone down to the convenience store to grab some drinks and snacks.

Not long after, Youngjae began to stir in his sleep and then it began. 

Jaebeom was thrust back into wakefulness and the other two came running into the lounge as soon as they heard Youngjae's scream. 

Jaebeom already had him in his arms rocking him and soothing him. "Shh, it's okay. Shh, I'm right here. You're okay Youngjae, your safe."

Youngjae cried in Jaebeom's arms as the other two stood looking on. They quickly moved over to the couch too and both of them started running his back.

"See Mark and Jinyoung are here too."

"Jaebeom's got you, you'll be okay," Mark said softly.

"We're here with you Youngjae. Just take some slow deep breaths." Jinyoung encouraged.

Slowly, Youngjae calmed down as the three of them spoke to him softly.

Mark quickly went back to the kitchen, grabbed some paper towel and brought it back to Youngjae. 

"Here," he said handing it to Jaebeom. "We'll go finish off the food." He held his hand out to Jinyoung, pulled him up from the floor and they went back into the kitchen.

Jaebeom gently moved Youngjae so that he could see his face. "Here, blow," he instructed Youngjae gently holding the paper towel to his nose.

Youngjae complied, taking it off him and clearing the congestion his crying had caused.

Jaebeom lifted his hand to Youngjae's face, pulled his sweater sleeves down over his hand and gently wiped his tears away.

"That's the first time in a while you've had a bad dream. Are you okay now?"

Youngjae nodded. 

"I wonder if it's because of the court case being tomorrow. You've been so good lately and that's all I can think of, besides everything with your eomma that's going on inside your head right now " 

Youngjae sniffled, then sighed. "I'm feeling really stressed about tomorrow. And I'm scared Jaebeom, I'm scared about being in the same room as them."

Jaebeom embraced him again, holding him tightly in his arms. "The six of us will be with you and they'll be in handcuffs being guarded by prison guards.  They can't hurt you any more."

"Do I have to go, JB? I really don't want to."

"Of course not, you know that. I won't think any less of you if don't go.  None of us will."

"I'm not sure what I want to do to be honest. It's like I do, but I'm scared so I don't."

"It's okay to be scared, but do you remember what the psych said?" 

"Yeah I can request a video call, but she also said that if I don't go I may not be able to put my demons to rest fully."

"Yeah, but she added that it would just take a bit longer to work through things and that there was nothing wrong with that either. You know we all will support you with whatever it is that you decide, but you've got less than a half hour to ring the lawyer so he can change it to a video call. I know what I'd do, but it's totally your call."

Youngjae grasped the back if Jaebeom's shirt tightly in his hands as Jaebeom rubbed his back.

It was at least another five minutes before he sat back and looked Jaebeom in the eyes. "I'll go to court. I want to face this. I'll have you, the others and my eomma with me, so I'll be fine." 

Jaebeom smiled at him before leaning into Youngjae and kissing him softly.

"I'm so very proud of you. I'm proud that you're my boyfriend and I'm proud to be yours. I Iove you."

Youngjae smiled and sighed looking him in the eyes. "I love you too."

"Ewwww," 

"Looks like the brats are home." Jaebeom laughed as he heard the other three commenting their mock disgust at their conversation.

Jinyoung popped his head around the door frame out of the kitchen. "You three get your backsides in here and come get the plates and stuff. Put the  drinks out on the tables first."

"Who made you the boss?" Yugyeom cheekily asked.

Mark popped his head out of the kitchen door frame. "Me, you three want to argue with that?"

"Not me."

"Nope, I'm good."

Yugyeom shook his head, "What they said." He agreed with the other two.

Jackson pulled out the drinks first then set the snacks aside and the three of them moved efficiently into the kitchen.

Youngjae laughed a little as Mark took charge, putting the three of them in their place.

"I never even heard them come in," Jaebeom said as Jinyoung came back into the lounge, the others following him.

"I messaged them to keep it quiet when they came back in. Didn't think they'd be that quiet though." They set the food down on the small table and began to help themselves.

Jaebeom and Youngjae joined them.

"Ninja quiet," Jackson smirked.

Jinyoung gave him a hard stare. "Ninja quiet? Jackson, you can't even be normally quiet. Although I have to admit, I didn't even hear the door open this time. So I'll allow it."

"Sometimes, you act more like a parent than a friend." Jackson pouted as he pushed his vegetables out if the way to get to his meat.

"Don't just eat the meat, eat your vegetables too." Jinyoung smacked him upside the head.

"Yes eomma," Jackson said shoving some into his mouth, chewing them up and then showing Jinyoung.

Youngjae laughed more as the two of them continued their banter.

He was so glad they had all come into his life. So grateful that they stood by him when he needed it, and so glad they were able to help him forget about the stressful things when he was worried about them.

He sat quietly next to Jaebeom, eating his food and thought about tomorrow. He was scared and he was nervous, but he knew the boys were going to be there for him and that's what would get him through.

Sighing he rested his head on Jaebeom's shoulder.

“You okay?” Jaebeom asked him, hearing the younger man sigh.

“I'm fine, just thinking about how lucky I am to have all of you by my side, especially for tomorrow.” Youngjae smiled as he spoke.

“It'll be fine you'll see,” Jaebeom reassured him.

Youngjae nodded and sat upright continuing to eat his dinner. He decided that it was best not to think about it any more tonight.

Tomorrow would come soon enough.


	23. Chapter 23

After dinner, the boys sat back and relaxed. Youngjae lay on the couch his head in Jaebeom's lap. 

Jinyoung was next to Mark and the other three sitting on their mattress. 

They were all going through their phones when Jinyoung's rang.

"Jinyoung I'm booorred."

"What the hell Jackson," Jinyoung laughed

Jinyoung hung up and then Mark's phone rang.

He looked straight over at Jackson. Who held his phone up and pointed at Bambam.

"Seriously are you guys really that bored?" Mark said swatting Bambam who laughed as he hung up.

"Why don't we go out for a couple of hours," Jaebeom suggested, "the bowling alley's open until  ten-thirty tonight it's only six thirty  now, we can get there before  seven-thirty,  get two games in and be home before eleven."

Yugyeom put his hand up. "I'm up for it."

Me too," Bambam agreed.

"Me three," Jackson put his hand up too.

"What about, you two? Up for a couple of games?" Jaebeom asked Mark and Jinyoung

"I'm all for it," Jinyoung replied first looking at Mark.

"Sure, why not," Mark shrugged we haven't been for ages, and we've not been with Youngjae yet"

Youngjae laughed out loud. "Trust me you're not missing out on much. My skills at getting the ball to actually roll down the lane are about as good my skills at knocking the pins down." 

Bambam chuckled, "So what you're saying is, that if gutterballs were strikes, we'd be in trouble?"

"Exactly,"  Youngjae said with a cheerful grin.

"Okay bowling it is," Bambam said standing up first and smirking over at Youngjae. "loser buys everyone ice-cream."

Youngjae laughed and threw a cushion at him. "What If I win?" 

Bambam threw it back at him, "We all buy you ice-cream."

Suddenly every except Youngjae was throwing things at Bambam.

"Don't bring us into this," Jinyoung threw a cheese snack at him.

"Yeah," Mark agreed, looking over at Youngjae and grinning."He'll probably go and win just to spite us now. "

Youngjae laughed some more. "Don't worry, pretty sure that won't happen.”

"Right," Jaebeom began,  "come on let's get out of here," he said tapping Youngjae's thigh as a gesture for him to get up.

Everyone got up and grabbed their jackets, Jaebeom grabbing Youngjae's handing it to him as Youngjae opened the door and they all headed out.

Jackson was overly excited as Jaebeom locked the door behind him and he shook his fists excitedly as he climbed into the car. 

"Next stop, the bowling alley,"

~*~

Arriving at the bowling alley, Bambam stopped everyone from getting out of the car.

"Let's split into two teams, we'll do rock paper scissors to decide the leaders and then the leader can choose the members of their team."

"Seems fair," Jinyoung nodded his agreement.

Everyone else agreed too.

"Okay, so you're eliminated if majority rules. Ready set go."

Yugyeom was the first one out, Bambam was the next to be ousted, followed by Jinyoung, Youngjae, then finally Jackson.

That left Mark and Jaebeom as the team leaders. 

"One more time to see who picks a member first, " Bambam instructed. "Ready set go."

"Damn, " Mark complained as Jaebeom claimed victory.

Jinyoung hugged him as consolation instead.

"Pick your first member, JB."

Youngjae figured no one would pick him right away so he sighed and just looked out of the window.

“Youngjae,” Jaebeom said without hesitation.

“You're gonna lose, Beomie!” Yugyeom smirked.

“We haven't played yet, Gyeommie.” Jaebeom shot back. “And besides, we don't know who's Mark's gonna pick you could end up with us” Jaebeom smirked back. “And besides I'll happily teach him how to do this properly.”

Youngjae smiled. “Well I can only hope,” he replied honestly.

A few minutes later and the teams were finalised Mark, Yugyeom and Jinyoung in one and Jaebeom, Youngjae, Bambam and Jackson in the other. 

After they went inside they got the girl to add Mark's name twice to his team so they had him bowl a second time to make up the four on Jaebeom's team.. It was only fair and they had all agreed on it.

Finally, they had all paid for their games, put their shoes on and readied for the challenge.

Mark and Jaebeom were up first and as Mark had reached the line first, as per lane etiquette, Jaebeom stood back and waited for Mark to bowl his first ball first.

“Ahhh, almost Yugyeom squawked excitedly as nine of Mark's pins fell.” they highed five as Jaebeom bowled his first ball.

His whole team cheered as he got a strike straight off the bat and he looked over at Yugyeom and grinned.

“Lucky shot,” Yugyeom laughed.

“You're just jealous cause he got a strike first Gyeommie,” Youngjae snickered.

One after the other the boys bowled, Youngjae being coached by Jaebeom as he went, and towards the end of the last game, he stopped getting gutter balls altogether. 

It was the last frame and everyone was close to each other. Youngjae had caught up quite impressively thanks to Jaebeom's instruction and It was he that had the final bowl of the night.

He stood to bowl. Everyone on his team was counting on him.

They needed at least eight pins to catch up and a strike if he wanted to surpass the other team and his own members.

Jaebeom could see him stressing as he stood to bowl so he got up with him and guided him to the line then whispered in his ear.

Youngjae blushed laughed, concentrated hard and bowled where Jaebeom had instructed, the ball hit hard and nine pins fell the other wobbled furiously and everyone was sure it would stop. 

Youngjae yelled with excitement as he scored his very first strike Jaebeom grabbing him by the waste as they yelled and laughed together.

“Go on Youngjae, get this next one and you'll get another shot. “Jackson said throwing the other team a victorious look. “Then you'll really have bragging rights because they lose by at least thirty or so points.”

“I'll do my best.” Youngjae bowled again after Jaebeom once again instructed him. 

“Oh my god! Youngjae.” Jackson jumped up hugging him too then Bambam yelled as the ten pins fell immediately this time.

Youngjae took a deep breath in. 

 

“Last one buddy, Jackson grinned as Youngjae took aim and bowled the last ball. “Awww only seven this time. But hey. we won. YOU won!” He gave Youngjae a hearty pat on the back.

The other guys all congratulated him on a great couple of games and he had to admit it, he was really pleased himself at how he had improved.

“Ah well, the ice creams are on us tonight. Nice bowling Youngjae.” Mark said giving him a pat on the back.

Jaebeom looked on like the proud boyfriend he was and he smiled. It seemed not only had the other boy's boredom been quelled, but Youngjae's stress about court in the morning had disappeared too.

Now it was time to eat ice creams, then head home and sleep.

Tomorrow would be a harrowing kind of day.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just when I thought this chapter would be the end, my muses lied... Sorry ^^;;

After bowling, the boys grabbed something to eat and headed back to Jaebeom's place.

Mark had noticed, Youngjae had been a lot quieter once they'd started the drive home. He figured it was because now that there weren't any distractions, Youngjae was thinking about tomorrow.

From his seat behind Youngjae's, he reached over and squeezed the young man's shoulder reassuringly. 

"You know what, Youngjae?" Mark began. "You really should be proud of yourself. Look how far you've come after all this time. And then on top of that, you kicked our butts at bowling tonight. So I'm pretty sure tomorrow you're gonna kick just as much ass."

Youngjae held Mark's hand where it sat on his shoulder and smiled. "I'm starting to think you can read minds. This isn't the first time you've known what I'm thinking."

"Tomorrow is the day you take back your life." Jaebeom rested a hand on Youngjae's leg momentarily. "Forgetting what happened, won't happen, but you'll get as close to closure as possible, and those bastards, will get what they deserve."

"Yeah, and we'll be right there by your side," Jackson reminded him.

Youngjae smiled as he tried to hide his fear. He really didn't want to go, but he'd already chosen to front up to court. He'd really wanted to face them, let them know, they hadn't won, but he was terrified.  He was grateful to have the others by his side, but their optimistic outlook was overwhelming. Of course he wouldn't forget, who would? And yes he had come along way since that awful day, but closure? Would there really be closure? The only thing they would lose is their freedom. He had lost his dignity, his self-esteem, his confidence and so much more, because of what they did, and if it hadn't of been for Jaebeom, he would have lost his life.

The rest of the trip home was made in silence and as soon as Jaebeom had opened the front door, Youngjae rushed past them all and straight into Jaebeom's room.

Jaebeom went to go after him, but Jinyoung stopped him  
"I think you two may have been a little over-enthusiastic, you, especially," he pointed at Jaebeom.  "Closure?  What the fuck was that all about, how can he get closure after what happened. Did you ever get closure after what happened to your brother?"

Jaebeom's face paled as Jinyoung made his point.

"I only meant that he'd at least see those bastards be put away for what they did. It's more than my family got," Jaebeom said his emotions rising.  "I thought he'd understand, when I said it, I never wanted to upset him." Jaebeom insisted. "I'll go apologise.

"Let me go talk to him, first. He might be a little raw right now," he said as he headed toward the bedroom.

Jaebeom huffed an annoyed sigh out, then turned around and left the house slamming the door behind him. 

Everyone turned to look at Jinyoung.

"Don't you think you were a little harsh on him?" Mark said softly a little upset that this had gotten out of hand. "His brother died. His family is dysfunctional because of it and the people were never caught you, know that. What you said to JB was just as bad if not worse. You might want to think about that,"  Mark told him as he walked out after Jaebeom.

Jinyoung sighed, maybe he had been harsh, but sometimes Jaebeom, needed to realise, not everyone shared his excitement and enthusiasm and he could tell by the way Youngjae had reacted after what Jaebeom had said that it had upset him a little, even though it wasn't intentional.

Jinyoung noticed the others were staring at him again.

"What?" He snapped quietly at them causing them to turn away and occupy themselves as he knocked on the bedroom door.

"Youngjae, it's Jinyoung, can I come in please?" 

There was no reply. 

He tried turning the door handle, but Youngjae had locked it.

"Youngjae, come on buddy, talking it out is better than keeping it in. It's like needing to shit, but not going, you know? The more you hold it in the more painful it gets."

Jinyoung heard a muffled noise something akin to the sound of a laugh through crying, then he heard footsteps come to the door and the door unlock.

Youngjae went back to the bed and lay down as Jinyoung walked in.

"That was gross," he said with a sniffle as Jinyoung closed the door, before coming over and jumping into the bed lying next to him.

"Made you laugh though, right?"Jinyoung smiled, looking at him.

"Yeah, it did. Worst analogy ever though." Youngjae grinned through his slowing tears.

"Yeah, have to admit, it definitely was." He reached over and took Youngjae's hand. "Anyway, I just wanted to see if you were okay. Jaebeom sometimes forgets in his enthusiasm, that people see things differently. He and Mark were just trying to encourage you for tomorrow."

"I know, and I really appreciate it, but I'm not sure how I'm supposed to have closure."

"I think Jaebeom feels that because the people that hurt you were caught and will have to pay for what they did, that it would give you that, because it's something that would have given his family closure had his brother's attackers been caught and brought to justice. He thought you'd understand the meaning behind what he said. He's so angry at himself and me for saying what I did to him that he just walked out of the house," Jinyoung sighed. "Mark's right though, I may have been to harsh with JB. He just loves you so much that he gets over enthused. He just wants you to be happy. We all do."

Younjgae sprang up from the bed and went to go for the door, but he stopped turned around and threw his arms around Jinyoung.

"Thank you, you all mean so much to me, and thank you for explaining things to me,' he kissed Jinyoung on the cheek.

"Don't be making my Mark jealous now," Jinyoung chuckled as Youngjae released him from his embrace. "Go find your man, Mark will be with him, he's mad at me too."

"I'll sort him out," Youngjae grinned as he ran out of the bedroom and out of the house.

As he walked back out of the bedroom all eyes were once again on him.

"Do I have the word asshole imprinted on my face or something? I fixed it okay, and I'll make up with the other two when they get back. Alright? In the meantime, who wants chicken and beer?  My shout."

The other three immediately threw their hands in the air. Jinyoung only ever offered to shout when he knew he'd screwed up. 

It was his way of apologising, so they were going to make the most of it.

Getting out his phone, Jinyoung dialled the take out and ordered.

Hopefully, it would be here before the others got back.

~*~

Mark caught up with Jaebeom as he trudged down the road and pulled him to stop.

"You know Jinyoung loves you, JB, he's your best friend. He's gonna say it like it is, no matter what, but I told him he needed to think about what he said in return," Mark said straight off the bat. “That wasn't fair either.”

Jaebeom stopped and stood against the wall. I know and maybe I should have thought about what I said first before saying it, but I really did think Youngjae would get it. I love him so much Mark and would never be so thoughtless intentionally. I would have loved to have seen my brother's attackers brought to justice and that's why I thought that Youngjae would be happy because he is able to see the end result, that closure that my family never saw, that we'll never see.” Jaebeom began to tear up. “My eomma probably won't recover, my appa, works, goes home never calls or goes and sees my eomma, and he drinks on the days he isn't working. I go see him when I can, but even then he says nothing, just sits and stares into empty space.”

Mark bit his lip and pulled Jaebeom into a hug from where he was standing and rubbed his back, comforting him. 

“My family is like a jigsaw, Mark, where the picture will never be whole, one piece is missing and the rest are broken. It's so hard to see my parents the way they are. My brother was the golden boy, they lived for him and when he died, it was like they forgot they had another son, once my eomma went into the hospital is when I moved out, I couldn't bear the silence any more. But, Youngjae, Youngjae has been my strength and my light. Even though the pain of losing my brother is still there, he makes the pain dull. Knowing that Youngjae's attackers will go down, maybe it's my way of getting closure, not Youngjae's.”

Mark released him from the embrace and smiled at him. “Youngjae loves you, and I'm sure he'll understand once Jinyoung explains things to him. Youngjae knows you wouldn't hurt him intentionally.”

Jaebeom nodded. “I hope so. Youngjae is my world and all I want is for him to be happy.”

“I am happy. I have you!”

Mark and Jaebeom turned around to see Youngjae standing behind them and Mark presumed that Youngjae had probably heard the whole conversation.

“Youngjae,” Jaebeom wiped his face and tried to compose himself. “I'm sorry I was going to come back I was just...”

“Just being mad and angry and frustrated. I know and I understand why Jinyoung did explain everything.

Mark took a step back and started to leave. “I'll go on back, I'll see you at the house.” 

“Thanks, Mark,” Jaebeom said gratefully.

“That's what friends are for, right? See ya,” Mark smiled as he turned and walked back up towards the house.

Jaebeom stood staring at the ground for the longest time until Youngjae walked up to him and took his hands in his. 

“Look at me, JB,” Youngjae commanded gently.

Jaebeom looked up from the ground slowly and did as he had been asked.

“About the closure, I'm sorry I didn't understand right away what you were trying to convey. I think my mind right now still doesn't believe I'm safe, not until I know those two are locked away and off the streets. I'm still too afraid to go out by myself, especially at night. The only time I feel safe is when I'm around you or the others. Maybe that's the closure I might get when we hear the verdict tomorrow. As for you, if them getting put away gives you something of a closure, I'll be glad. I just wish they could have caught the people who hurt your brother, they don't deserve to be free. It has broken your family and it hurts me to see you so sad, but I'm here, I'll be your family and the others I think they already look at you as their family. Each of us has our family demons. Look at me I got thrown out, kindly at least. Bambam's father drinks and gets rough with his mother, Yugyeom's is always out partying and gambling. Jinyoung's and Mark's mothers treat them as if they don't even exist and Jackson's, well they make him work and they take most of his money,” Youngjae sighed.

“We're a bunch of familial misfits,” Jaebeom sighed too.

“But we work together, we all get along with each other and even when we have our differences we sort it out in the end. We're already like a family. You are my family, Jaebeom,” Youngjae said happily. “And I love you very much, but it's not exactly warm out here right now. We should head back, the others are all worried about us and I think poor Jinyoung is copping silent flack for all of this.”

“Are you alright though?” Jaebeom asked. “I mean, I feel bad now about bringing up the closure thing.”

“I'm fine and I really hope we can both find it tomorrow. I thought about it and it will be about taking my life back tomorrow. And I'm glad you'll all be by my side. Come on,” Youngjae smiled and leading Jaebeom by the hand started to head back to the house.

“Let's go home.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GODDAMN MUSES LOL... I'm trying to end this fic! stop already XD

Jaebeom awoke suddenly at around 1 am, to Youngjae crying in his sleep. 

He figured it was the stress of having to attend the court session. As brave as Jaebeom thought Youngjae was choosing to attend the session personally, it also might be too much for him at the same time.

But Youngjae had made his decision and wasn't going to back down no matter how much his anxiety and panic are at him.

Jaebeom gently began to rub his back and whisper softly to him, letting him know he was right there with him.

He felt Youngjae's hand grab his shirt, pulling him closer as the younger man finally awoke. 

"You can still call in,  in the morning and do this via the video link. I'm really worried about you," Jaebeom said the worry in his voice evident.

Youngjae snuggled into Jaebeom's chest and shook his head. "I'm doing this Jaebeom. I have to. My father's going to be there, he promised. And  
I can do it. I know I can!"

Jaebeom gave an unseen smile in the darkness of the room and hugged Youngjae to him. "You're amazing, you know that? You're really trying so hard to push through this.  l'm worried about you, but I totally believe in you and I'm so very proud of you."

Youngjae sighed happily in Jaebeom's arms. "You're amazing! You've done so much for me, helped me get through so much. The first time we made love, once I got through my nerves and fear, I remember how it felt. It hurt it a bit, but I felt so loved, so wanted, more than I had for a long time. It made me feel so alive. I loved feeling like that."

"I feel so blessed having had you come into my life. Being raped was such a sad part of it and not everybody can get to where you did, at the rate you did. It rarely happens that way at all." Jaebeom said hugging him closer

"You've all supported me, the six of you," Youngjae said gratefully.  "The psych said it the other day, remember? Not everybody gets to have the support of a team of people. She said I was one of the lucky ones because I have you and the others."

"I really believe I'm lucky. You've helped me a hell of a lot too you know. The guys were saying they can't believe how much I've come out of my shell because of you. Mark gave me a hug the other day and I didn't shrug him off like I used to. He was so shocked. Jackson looked like he was going to cry actually. He was at my house when the news my brother had killed himself came through. So he's been there for me from the beginning. The others have too, and Jinyoung is my best friend, but Jackson saw the immediate effect it had on my family. This is why he's almost always been allowed to touch me. He spent hours holding me after it happened. I don't know why, but I couldn't even hug Jinyoung as much as I could Jackson."

"Probably because he was the one that comforted you the most at the time. It's like me with the others, I don't mind them hugging me at all, but at first, it was hard, because it was your touch that gave me the most comfort. I don't remember you holding me in your lap when you first saved me, but I do remember how your arms felt that day when you pulled me off that road. They were warm and strong and they protected me.  From that point on your touch was what I longed for every time I felt vulnerable."

"That sounds pretty accurate actually. I got the most comfort from Jackson hugs each time I felt vulnerable, so I'm guessing that's similar to us then."

"Mm, it would be," Youngjae agreed as he yawned. 

"Okay, back to sleep. You're exhausted and we have to be up in 7 hours. Lack of sleep only heightens anxiety and you, don't need that to happen. Got it?"

Youngjae nodded against Jaebeom's chest and Jaebeom kissed him on the head. "I love you." 

Youngjae sighed happily. "I love you too."

Within minutes the two of them were once again asleep, Youngjae enveloped lovingly in Jaebeom's arms.

~*~

Youngjae slept peacefully in Jaebeom's arms until it was finally time to get up.

He'd showered, dressed and had breakfast, courtesy of and cooked by Mark who had gone the 24-hour convenience store to pick up a few extra things to make Youngjae a nice breakfast.

It was enjoyed by everyone equally of course, as Mark made sure that there was plenty to share.

Finally, it was time to head out to the court.

Youngjae stood staring at the front door while he waited for Jaebeom to grab his keys from their room.

Suddenly he was hugged from behind as Yugyeom overshadowed him. "Everything's gonna be alright. We're all going to be there with you."

"And the court has the three witness statements, from Mark, Jaebeom and myself, plus the police and the hospital reports,"  Jinyoung said with conviction.

"These guys are gonna go away for a very long time. You'll see," Mark said smiling at Youngjae.

"There's too much evidence against them as it is," Jaebeom said coming out of the room and looking at the others. He looked at Youngjae swamped by the large form of Yugyeom and smiled. "So you ready, Youngjae?"

Youngjae took a deep breath in and pushed it out nodding. 

Jaebeom took Youngjae's hand as Yugyeom released him from the hug. "Let's do this. It's time to watch these jerks go down!"

The others cheered in agreement and Youngjae smiled, grateful to have them by his side 

~*~

All the way to the courthouse the others were singing and being crazy, doing anything they could to keep Youngjae's mind off things.

The courthouse was quite busy when they got there, Youngjae noted as they pulled up into the car park and got out of the car. Once they got out of the car though, Youngjae had completely clammed up. He clung to Jaebeom's hand tightly and said nothing.

After a while, Youngjae's lawyer arrived and they talked through everything in a quiet room. He'd really wanted Jaebeom to come in with them but the lawyer had said because he was a witness that it wasn't allowed.

Once the lawyer had gone through everything with him, Youngjae was able to go back to Jaebeom and the others.

The only thing he was allowed to say, was that the lawyer believed the two men would definitely receive a lengthy prison term and he had the right to claim criminal compensation, because of the trauma he'd been through.

"How much did she think you'd get?" Bambam asked excitedly.

Jinyoung smacked him upside the head gently, "not exactly an  appropriate thing to ask, you nosy shit."

"Sorry," Bambam apologised immediately.

"It's okay, I don't mind,"  Youngjae replied. "She said, it could be anywhere up to 5 million won."

"Holy crap," Jackson said, his jaw dropping. "That's an insane amount!"

Jaebeom sighed as he shook his head disagreeing with it. "Not really, considering what they did to Youngjae. They took from him something that can't ever be replaced."

"Ahh, Yeah, you do have a very valid point there," Jackson had to agree.

"So, what now?" Bambam asked.

"We sit and wait for Youngjae's case to get called in," Jaebeom informed them.

Suddenly he was tapped on the shoulder from behind.  

"You're Jaebeom aren't you?" A policeman asked.

"Officer Ko," he said with a bow as he acknowledged the policeman standing before him. 

"So what brings you here today?" The officer asked.

"Ahh, my friend here had to come in for his case against someone today," he said replying with as little information as he felt he needed to give out. After all, he didn't think Youngjae would have appreciated it if he went around telling people the reason he was here for.

"Ahh, I see. Talk about coincidence. I'm glad I caught you, I was going to call you later today?" Officer Ko informed him.

"Oh, really? What for?" Jaebeom asked inquisitively.

"Your brother's case has been reopened," Officer Ko told him.

"What? Why?"  Jaebeom asked puzzled.

"Because the officers who worked on your brother's case came across two out of the four perpetrators by accident,”

Jaebeom's face went pale as he looked up into officer Ko's face. “How did you find them?”

"Turns out they attacked someone else but got caught in the act,” Officer Ko began. “We got the information on the others because one of them thought he could plea bargain for a lighter sentence. Mentioned that he had information, then proceeded to tell us about the gang attacking a kid last year. Gave us the date, day, place and time, we ran it through the system and it matched the night your brother was attacked. When we confirmed, we asked for names. He gave them straight up.”

Jaebeom teetered backwards, shocked by the news Mark and Jinyoung grabbed him to steady him. “After all this time,” he said his voice cracking and his whole body was shaking. 

Youngjae looked on scared and unsure of what to do or say. Instead, he waited until the boys sat Jaebeom on a nearby seat and sat down with him.

“I probably should have waited and called you,” Officer Ko said apologetically. "I only brought it up because I brought them in today for a hearing for another case, and when I saw you here. I thought you'd like to know the good news. I know how devastated you were when all this went down.”

Jaebeom heaved out a huge breath and calmed himself down. “I can't believe it.”

Youngjae hugged him tightly. “Finally, you'll get your closure. They have two of them and the rest will be arrested. I'm so happy for you.”

“Anyway, I gotta go,” Officer Ko said with a nod. “We have to escort them from out of the cells and into the courtroom for their hearing a bit later.” he finished as he waved and headed off down the corridor.

The others gathered around Jaebeom and Youngjae.

“That's great news, Jaebeom,” Jackson said with a smile.

Jaebeom sighed loudly and smiled at the others. “Youngjae's attackers are gonna get the book thrown at them today, and it's taken almost 21 months, but the same thing will finally happen for my brother's attackers.”

“We'll all be there for you too!” Youngjae said with a smile.

Jaebeom smiled a sigh of relief out. 

The news couldn't have come at a better time.

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SORRY YOUNGJAE <3


End file.
